alone for christmas:(

asparagus1968

single mum to 12 year old.
his dad has lovely big family,lots of cousins to play with etc,but lives 200 miles away.
my parents have decided to go away for christmas,my sister has said her,husband and kids are having a christmas ,just themselves,no-one else this year.
my son spends alternate xmas with me and his dad.i am a nurse,so work xmas too,which i did last year.So should me "my" year with son this year.

however,having struggled to explain why no-one in our family (my side) want xmas with us,i've asked his dad if he can go there.

he'll have a fab time with all the relatives and cousins,much beter than just him and me by ourselves.

i know i've done the best thing for him,but now i will be totally alone,am dreading it,fel so lonely and unwanted already.

so,ideas for what to do on the day please?

charities etc that may need help?

don't want to go into work,rather keep my sad life to myself

anyone else in the same situation?

sweetme

I am alone with my kids this year. My mum is off abroad and the rest of my family are down south. I'm looking forward to it though. We are having a pj day, no need to get dressed as there will be no visitors, and a buffet. I will most likely spend Christmas Day watching the crap tv that is on because I have no doubt my kids will spend the day wearing headphones, on the Internet, or with their phones glued to their hands.

I'm sure your son would have had a fab day being with you. There is so much emphasis on Christmas being fun and jolly, it doesn't have to be. You could just enjoy a day of the two of you and do the big family thing another time.

kittieviolet

My relationship with my family has disintegrated (its quite toxic and frankly more trouble than its worth) over the last 2 years so I spent last Christmas day 'alone'. I volunteered for a charity for part of the day which I enjoyed so much that I am doing so again this year.Then I ate what I liked, watched what I liked. Alone can give you choices rather than just following the same old routine.

asparagus1968

actually, son asked if i'd mind if he went to dads "all the familiy will be there and i'll have a great time with my cousins" he has mild aspergers,doesn't really do the empathy thing!bless him.he won't give a thought to the fact i'll now be alone!

yes,helping a charity would be good also-

take dog a long walk
eating nibbly food all day-no cooking big meal or loads of washing up to do!
having control of what c*ap tv to watch

just need to be positive

go_cat

I'm sure some homeless charity near you would welcome some support on Christmas day.

Have a pyjama day, spring clean the house, watch rubbish on tv , drink some wine or sherry ...it's one day and will go fast enough.

Have you any lonely or elderly neighbours near you if you don't want to be on your own that may want some company

FBaby

What an unselfish to do to let your boy go to his dad even though you'll be alone (hopefully not by then). It really brought a tear to my eye after reading so many posts about separated parents fighting like cats and dogs, forgetting their children.

I had a few Christmas alone, but always worked then. so it was ok. Five years ago, I face spending half the day alone after the kids went to their dad and that was strange but I did enjoy the peace and quiet. The worse part was that I cheered myself up by planning to go to the Next sale first thing in the morning, knowing I would be in bed early, and being able to get out of the house without dragging the kids out was bliss....until I go there at around 7:30 and for the first year, they didn't open on boxing day

I really hope you will find nice people to spend the day with, but if not, try to think of the things you might be able to do because you are alone, like take a long bath, eat things that might not be traditional but you still want, watch a film your son might not have wanted to share with you, stay in your pyjamas and don't wear any make up!

minimoneysaver

OP you don't say where you are, but have you googled your area and homeless charities? If you are willing to disclose your nearest city, maybe some of us can help you find a homeless charity to get involved with.

puppypants

I was a nurse for many years until I retired. When my kids were younger, I worked loads of shifts over Christmas and New Year, that way, the bills were paid when they came in after Christmas.

Person_one

Are you sure you don't want to go into work? You'd be with people you know, and when I've worked Christmas Day its usually been a lovely atmosphere with everybody trying to make the best of it, patients and staff.

You don't need to tell anybody your reasons if you don't want to.

kjmtidea

That's a really lovely thing to do for your son, I don't think I could be that selfless.

Definitely be positive about the situation, I think there would be many charities that would be very grateful of your time and it would probably be a lovely atmosphere too. Then you can go home, watch what you want on tv and eat junk

asparagus1968

thanks all.
i usually relish a bit of time to myself,and its only one day for goodness sake.its just its a time when you should feel thankful for your family etc.
i'm really struggling with how I feel about my family at the moment.
I wouldn't let any of them feel lonely.
I'm always "count my blessings" when i lose track of how lucky I am.
i have the most amazing son
a job i love
lovely little house
afford to run a car
nice friends,though all coupled up with busy lives
my health

think i could do with "widening" my life- new friends/experiences etc
:T