Do you feel like a "grown up" yet?

dandy-candy

I'm wondering if anyone else is wondering when they will feel like a grown up? I'm 39 and being an adult isn't what I was expecting!

When I was a kid I looked at grown ups as calm, confident and self assured people who seemed comfortable in their role. I'm still a headless chicken in times of crisis, I can never make decisions, and still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Up until 30 I felt like I was still 18 inside, and now at 39 I keep thinking i'm about 30 until I look in the mirror! I'm not the wise person I thought I would be and feel like a kid in an aging shell of a body - it's quite creepy :eek:

Is it just me?

thehappybutterfly

I agree! When I look back at being a child/teenager, my dad and step mum were younger than I am now but they seemed so old and fuddy duddy. I hope to god my kids don't see me like that! I'm 43 and I don't feel, look or act like it (whatever 'it' is!). But then I think I act younger than many people my own age. I have quite a 'junior' role at work and many of the managers above me are younger than me and they seem way more grown up and serious than me.

I don't particularly want to grow up! I'm happy the way I am.

chirp

Ha ha ha! Don't worry you are completely normal. A person can be 90 yrs but be "young at heart". We all feel/think young, confused, indecisive, childish in our minds. It is just the body which ages and not the mind.

webitha

im the same age as you dandy and the way i look at it is that growing old is obligatory....growing up is optional
much to my things disgust at times :rotfl::rotfl:

mumcoll

Haha, I'm in my mid fifties and am more childish than my sensible kids. Only last week I was laughing so much it hurt, at an inappropriate game we were playing in work!

marisco_2

I am also 39 and if I am honest I am yet to feel grown up. OP I noticed that you mentioned things in your post about yourself that you see as real negatives, such as not being calm in time of crisis. I think at least half the population would react the same way. Not everyone can keep a cool head under pressure but that doesn't mean you aren't grown up.

How dull would things be if at 39 you had the rest of your life mapped out. Sometimes you have to go with the flow, enjoy the ride and enable all kinds of opportunities to come your way. See not having a life plan as staying open to all kinds of possibilities. At least you aren't set in your ways and unable to see the benefits of other ways and approaches.

To feel younger than your years is healthy, very healthy. It keeps you fit and alert as you do age. My dad is a prime example of this who at 68 is young minded, spritely, up for a laugh and is great around his grandkids.

To be honest I felt more confidant and mature at 20 than I do now. Despite the fact that I own and run my own home, am raising two little kids by myself, drive, hold down a good job, have no debts, a little in savings and a good lifestyle. Sometimes you just need to look at all you have achieved, all you manage from day to day without even thinking about it and appreciate just how grown up and responsible you really are

Says me who phoned her dad in tears this morning because I have this vomitting bug and didn't feel safe to drive over to his house, an hours drive away, to collect my two kids who have been staying for a sleepover weekend. He stayed calm, let me cry a bit then told me to stay in bed, he would keep them for the day and drive them back tonight with a weekly shop for me. He is the best and I am left feeling like a little kid again, which just for once is rather nice.

ciderwithrosie_2

Don't worry about it! I think I reached my peak of maturity a few years ago, now at 48 I'm happily regressing!

Seriously, I think now my boys are mostly past the teenage years we have great interaction, they keep me young - I'm more in touch with what's current than some of my much younger work colleagues.

People tell me I don't look my age and am often mistaken for being in my early 30s so that suits me just fine! I am so not looking forward to turning 50, it sounds so old!!

ciderwithrosie_2

marisco wrote: »

Says me who phoned her dad in tears this morning because I have this vomitting bug and didn't feel safe to drive over to his house, an hours drive away, to collect my two kids who have been staying for a sleepover weekend. He stayed calm, let me cry a bit then told me to stay in bed, he would keep them for the day and drive them back tonight with a weekly shop for me. He is the best and I am left feeling like a little kid again, which just for once is rather nice.

Aww, what a lovely Dad! Hope you feel better soon!

sparrer

Until I retired from my career and took a fantastic temp job in a different field I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I think it's perfectly normal to go through life just doing what you're trained to do and not risk trying something else.

As for being indecisive we all are at times. As an example, people ask me what I'd like for Christmas and I think I have what is a good idea, then change my mind and have to retract the first idea! I can go to pieces at times but I'm fortunate that in a crisis I don't do so til it's sorted. Some can, some can't, but there's no need beat yourself up about it or feel guilty.

About growing up. No, never! Whatever for?! I may be a grandmother, retired etc., but in my head I can still be a kid, or 20's, or 30's, depending on the situation. My own DM is 91 and she's no intention of growing up either - good for her!

daisiegg

When I was a little girl I always used to think my mum was so strange because she would always say that she didn't 'feel' grown up, she felt exactly the same as she always had. Now that I am technically an adult I know just what she meant!

I do think it depends on the job you do though. I am a teacher and I think this makes me feel more 'grown up' than some of my friends who have different careers, as I am always in an environment where I have a position of responsibility over children and I am cast as the 'grown up'.

But does anyone else startle themselves sometimes with the things they do/accomplish? I STILL feel really surprised and almost proud every time I do something like speak to the bank on the phone as it seems very grown up! We bought a house last year and I did most of the admin and organisation for that and I just couldn't get over the fact that little old me was doing this.

I have to admit I feel like a fraud every parents' evening, I look at the parents of my pupils and think 'why are you listening to me?! You realise I'm actually 14 in my head, right?!'

travelgran

When I went to university at 18 I thought I knew about life. By 21 I realised I hadn't, but of course I knew now. At 30 I realised I hadn't known at 21 but now I was fine. At 41 I recognised that there were things I hadn't known at 30 and still didn't know. And at that point I realised it wasn't going to happen!
Just got to take what comes and deal with it.