The Ultimate Incentive natters on. Part 9

clearmydebts

starnac wrote: »

Kiddies are lovely. There are pics on fb don't know if you can see them??

Debt is a long story but the short version is mat leave (no money), new windows (very needed) and a new (to me) car! :mad: Makes me cross but that's how it is. It needs to be gone by the end of the year cos I am so sick of it. I didn't come on here for so long due to embarrassment of going back into debt

Re pay. I've given notice at my current job (a blessing) as I have secured funding to work for the church. I start with the church on friday which should mean that I get paid at the end of the month (pay no 1) but where I work now pay us a month in arrears. So at the end of march I will get paid for the work I did in feb (pay no 2) so I should get 2 full month's wages.

If I do then that's our o/d's completely cleared. I cleared mine this month by being very [STRIKE]tight[/STRIKE] frugal. Once the joint account o/d is cleared then the window finance is next, leaving only the car loan.

Just had a look. They are beautiful

Please don't be embarassed. I am now 10 years in debt. I was embarassed when I totted up my total this lightbulb. But something just clicked for me this time. I am so so sick of it too. I keep looking around me and seeing people of the same age with lovely houses, cars etc. We have been so stupid for 10 years, but no more :mad:

clearmydebts

Meant to say Starnac - congrats on the new job

Okay I need a bit of a push from you lovely ladies on here. I am about to learn to drive. I had 2 lessons last year but the instructor was horrible and my Nanny was very unwell at the time so it wasn't a good time. This time myself and OH are learning together.

To say I am nervous is an understatment! Everyone keeps telling me that I won't know myself when I learn but it isn't pushing me towards it. Cinny - I know you learnt in the last year. Is it really hard?

roomontheend

My March total will be £1050 as this is the amount I have on two credit cards that I am paying high interest on. I owe more than this but most is on 0% at the moment. If I could pay this off or at the very least make a big dent into it I would be a happy chappy.

And girls stop with the shoe prawn, I can't cope.

Dinah93

Jaspersmum wrote: »

I will de-lurk to say, beautiful photo! Also I had exactly the same issues as you, ill child and a thoughtless comment from a nurse. I felt so to blame for the situation she was in! I carried this around for nearly 10 years before I sought the help of a counsellor for CBT. I felt I was suffocating her with my over protectiveness and that she would turn into a version of me! But it really did help, I will always be an anxious person, it is just how I am, but it is more managable now. It is hard work and you have to confront things that you find difficult and sometimes terrifying (eg, soft play and no hand gel)!!

I really feel for you as I know just what you are going through, I wish I could switch off the thoughts in my head but it is not possible, but with help it will get better for you.

Good luck, Grace looks lovely and healthy.

JMx

Thanks JM, this really helped. It's nice to feel like someone else completely 'gets' it. Ahem, soft play, no idea of that fear, ahem, there isn't a ball pool in my lounge as I thought she'd like it but was scared of other children's hands and drool on the balls......

NIM has been very positive about taking a more active role in our finances lately, so we sat down last night together to update him more on where we are and what accounts we have. The upshot is we've worked out our debt is up to £9085. At least half of the increase (around £1100) is due to going to my cousin's wedding. The rest is just not being able to live to not getting maternity pay, buying the new laptop, £150 of new car part last month etc. We've agreed that once a month we'll go through it all again together and see how we're progressing.

I did also, on a whim, contact Barclaycard yesterday to find out when my 0% expires. Oh !!!!, it expired 2 weeks ago. Cue a mad online application for another card, et voila, Natwest. So when that arrives I will be BT-ing about £5700 of the Barclaycard balance, leaving only £1000ish earning interest. The OD is also earning interest, the Amex is not so long as we pay in full every month, so there are lots of options for our March Madness money, even if we achieve the 'mad' figure we still would have plenty of options for where it's best used.

It's normal to be scared of learning to drive CMD, I think everyone is, but nerves will help you get through the test as you'll be anxious to get it all right, it's the over confident ones who forget to check mirrors, or in the case of a friend of mine, not notice the 'no entry' signs to the motorway sliproad, and end up on the hard shoulder of the motoroway head on into traffic!

Birdie85

Dinah93 wrote: »

It's normal to be scared of learning to drive CMD, I think everyone is, but nerves will help you get through the test as you'll be anxious to get it all right, it's the over confident ones who forget to check mirrors, or in the case of a friend of mine, not notice the 'no entry' signs to the motorway sliproad, and end up on the hard shoulder of the motoroway head on into traffic!

:eek::eek::eek:

CMD, you'll be fine. I think everyone gets nervous as you're in charge of something so big and powerful, but it'll soon become second nature. At first you'll be constantly thinking about where your feet are, where you're looking, how close you are to other cars etc... then one day you'll find that it just comes naturally and you stop thinking about it so much. Good luck!

I think the plan of having a monthly money sit-down is a good one Dinah.

Congratulations on the new job Starnac, good timing about the double pay too!

Kepp

CMD - I left learning late compared to my friends (did it when I was 24) due to it making me incredibly nervous. I think that's good though, the nerves will disappear and people who are overly cocky do not make good drivers! I think a good instructor is key - mine was lovely, always made me laugh. I didn't rush to getting to my test and passed first time. Go for it! (Although I still find myself breathing in to fit through when a gap is tight, anyone else do that?! )

Dinah - think you made the right decision and glad you are happier now. Also good for NIM going through the finances together!

Congratulations on new job Starnac! :j

Dinah93

Also back on diet bandwagon today, have been very, very, very bad the last few days, when I get sad I don't eat, when I get anxious I inhale sugar. Going to Paris had me so highly strung you could use me for a tightrope and somehow nearly half a kilo of dark chocolate vanished from the cupboard in 48 hours. So back to logging on myfitnesspal, and back to 30 day shred. Also mum and I are taking Grace for another walk in the park this afternoon, really looking forward to it, despite the current thick frost it's supposed to be lovely weather this afternoon.

Mum and I have also decided to start going to aqua zumba on a Monday night, hopefully this will help shift a few lbs and also it's a challenge to me to be not only away from Grace at a set time every week but to trust NIM with dinner and bedtime, AND to be non-contactable by phone for that hour. Eeek!

Flower08

Dinah, sorry to hear that you couldnt go to Paris, hopefully you can relax now though. I have to admit I wouldnt leave Noah for a weekend - I would only end up ringing home every 5 minutes and wouldnt enjoy myself!
He is 17 months and I have only ever left him one night and I was waking OH at 7am so we could go and pick him up :rotfl:
It doesnt help what that nurse said, but just remember the positive things the consultant said.

shrimpy_80

clearmydebts wrote: »

Okay I need a bit of a push from you lovely ladies on here. I am about to learn to drive. I had 2 lessons last year but the instructor was horrible and my Nanny was very unwell at the time so it wasn't a good time. This time myself and OH are learning together.

To say I am nervous is an understatment! Everyone keeps telling me that I won't know myself when I learn but it isn't pushing me towards it. Cinny - I know you learnt in the last year. Is it really hard?

CMD - I passed just over a year ago so it might be me you are thinking of? (I was 31 but started learning when I was 22 ) I was super super nervous, to the point where within 48 hours after my lesson, I would start feeling sick for the next one. I think getting a good instructor is essential, my last-but-one instructor was very critical and I didn't really make any progress under him, but because I had been learning on and off I was determined to see it through and stick with him, whereas in hindsight I should have changed way earlier. I eventually passed after an intensive course where my instructor was so laid back he actually fell asleep in one of my lessons, which sounds kind of awful but actually made feel confident in a weird way that he felt relaxed enough to do it, if that makes sense! I also used to make sure I'd eaten before lessons and didn't drink any caffeine (doesn't usually affect me at all but really seemed to make my nerves worse) and I also found rescue remedy helped. I tried Kalms, they didn't do anything for me but I know some of my friends swore by them.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be great, and don't be too hard on yourself! If it was easy, driving instructors would be out of a job wouldn't they?

beccie wrote: »

(Although I still find myself breathing in to fit through when a gap is tight, anyone else do that?! )

Yes, and I have to make a real effort not to close my eyes and screw my face up too - apparently having your eyes shut doesn't help!

It sounds like you made the right decision about the hen Dinah, hope you're feeling better now. Don't be so hard on yourself, you've been through a lot and your feelings sound perfectly normal, but definitely mention it to your counsellor for your own peace of mind at least x

I know its still Feb but I have paid just over £400 off the card as I got paid today, bringing my balance down to a more psychologically pleasing £999.

Cinny91

Loving everyone's optimism on the March challenge!! As Troy Bolton sang at me last night, we're all in this together *clap*

Think it must be Shrimpy you're thinking of, CMD! I passed what I thought was "a few" years ago, totted it up and I'll have been driving 3 years in July :eek: That's gone quickly! It took me 6 months of weekly 2 hour lessons on a Sunday morning to pass. I used to be so nervous the night before I could never have my tea, I think nerves are just normal so don't let it get to you too much I passed on my second test, doped up on rescue remedy (kalms helps me sleep but doesn't help with "on the day" kind of stresses!) I'm still rubbish at parking, I'll drive around trying to find a "drive through" one And I walk away thinking "people are gonna think I actually reversed and that's close enough!"

Dinah - I added a birthday present for Grace into the package, if it doesn't fit (they only had 0-3 months left!) you should be able to exchange it Crikey to the CC! At least it was weeks and not months, hope the £1000 left on the interest one doesn't take too long to clear?