What's the ideal gap between children?

MushyPeas

Thanks for your thoughts Hezzawithkids, I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the word 'ideal' and recognise, completely, that everyone has different experiences - which is why I submitted the OP - particularly because I thought the DM's article was so very one sided. It's helpful to read other people's thoughts and experiences.

Hezzawithkids

MushyPeas wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts Hezzawithkids, I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the word 'ideal' and recognise, completely, that everyone has different experiences - which is why I submitted the OP - particularly because I thought the DM's article was so very one sided. It's helpful to read other people's thoughts and experiences.

I'm not offended Mushy, it just winds me up that DM and like think that they can dictate anyone's child-bearing agenda. And its only going to get worse, brace yourself for endless commentary, speculation and obsession from the one-track-minded media about the next royal baby :mad:

nottslass_2

I have 23.5 years between my oldest and youngest and believe me that's an ideal gap - no arguments between them and I think that I'd just about recovered from the sleepless nights and terrible two's by the time the little one arrived

mum26

I had a range of gaps 3 yrs 9 months being the biggest - good points being I got a bit of rest when the eldest was at playgroup, could reuse the pushchair, cot etc. Bad points - back to nappies etc, fairly big gap.

Apart from my twins (3 mins lol) the smallest gap was 16 months between the twins and our last baby, emotionally this was the best gap, the twins were still essentially babies so we had no jealousy at all, I was already knackered, already washing nappies etc so it didn't increase the workload noticably really but physically being pregnancy while carting around toddlers, babies etc and not getting any rest was exhausting. I had SPD but still had to carry hefty twins up and down stairs numerous times a day I actually broke a toe once because I slipped coming down and missed the last step, choice between hurting the twins, the bump or myself!
They are in yr 4 and yr 3 now and were in the same playgroup and nursery school classes which was good and bad, the littlest was not happy when they moved up. They are all into the same sort of things and are their own ready made little gang, the elder three are not as close.
So after that massive ramble there is no ideal gap, nor can you really specify one as it's a bit based on "Luck" but think about what sort of family you are, are you out for activities and days out or do you like to do activities with one child at a time etc etc. And just enjoy

pollyanna24

2 years and 24 days between my two little sproglettes. Hard hard work! But their dad left me when the youngest was only 2 months, so that might have had something to do with how hard it was/is!

My girlies are now 4 and 2, and although I still find it hard (the fighting/the squabbling/the constant noise/mum she hit me etc), I'm sure it will be great in a few years time when they are a bit older. I always wanted a sister. Now my two have got one whether they like it or not!

wiggels

I have a 6,3 & 1 children xx they have 2.5 yr age gaps between them. There birthdays are sept-march-sept

ciderwithrosie_2

There's 17 months between my oldest 2 and it was OK, the younger one copied the older, so he walked and was potty trained quite early. They both liked the same things, have mutual friends and are still close now at 22 and 21

There's a 3 yr 4 month gap between the 2nd and 3rd though and this was too much really (in our family anyway) as the older 2 never included him much and he liked different things to them anyway, e.g. they're both into sport and he's not.

morocha

When i got pregnant with DD ( she is 5)we wanted to give her all our love and attention( t here is a gap of 18mths between my eldest brother and me and the same with OH and his brother) did not consider having other children at all till this year ( she turned 5 in june and we were pregnant by april) DD is so exciting about the baby and i do feel we have given her all our time, holidays abroad, everything we could and enjoyed her so much that we are happy with the choice.

dizziblonde

There's a fair chance I'll end up with what people sometimes refer to as Irish twins. Technically my due date is a week after my daughter's first birthday - however since she decided to show up the best part of 2 months early - if this one follows suit... I can write a Daily Mail column about it!

Wasn't 100% planned like that - took 6 years to conceive a viable pregnancy with number 1, so we'd taken the decision that we'd just see what life had in store for us regarding number 2 - and it's happened that way.

I'm not unduly worried to be honest (apart from issues concerning the ins and outs, ok so it's mostly outs, of delivery) - people cope with more, people cope with worse - and since we've got incredibly lucky with having two the same sex - the moneysaving implications in terms of still having a full run of baby girls' clothes in various sizes that I can just add to if I want to but not have to desperately buy lots and lots of stuff are a pretty handy side-effect.

Personally I'd rather take the short-term "pain" of having two close together for the longer-term benefits of having a sibling pair very close in age so with more chance of common interests and a good bond later... although yes, I suspect two girls hitting teenage traumas at the same time may add to the grey hair collection. I lost out a LOT as a child from being on the older end of a large age gap (talking pushing toward 10 years) and being expected to basically be a young carer for an ill sibling and parent - wouldn't want to put my kids in that kind of position.

idristhedragon

I have every age gap under the sun...........
6 years between 1 & 2, 15months between 2 & 3, 3 years between 3 and 4 so therefore 11 years between 1 & 4.
Irish twins- now theres a saying. My boys have been referred to as that before, and having an Irish husband I find it s a bit of a *sucks breath in sharply* phrase. Swap it with "Chinese twins" or "Jamaican twins" and imagine the response you get........

Another subject altogether but it drives me mad when people feel free to comment on your childbearing choices- I get it all the time.
"4 kids??? Good God how on EARTH do you cope?" usually followedby a visible shudder. and the old chestnut "Havent you got a telly?" guffaw guffaw. I usuallyt reply to that one with "Of course i have- what do you think the older kids are doing while we're making the next ones?" that usually embarrasses people sufficiently to think about the fact they are being quite rude.
4 isnt actually *that* many children IMO