I just can't cope anymore

ZTD

buddiebabe wrote: »

I REALLY SHOULD HAVE SUSPECTED SOMETHING.... HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID ??????

What am I called? Where do I live?

What? You don't know?

According to you that makes you stupid. It doesn't - it makes you like everyone else, not a mind-reader. You only know what other people tell you.

If you were suspicious about everything, you'd be a paranoid wreck. You should be congratulated for thing the best about people.

buddiebabe wrote: »

I have no idea what to do. I have stuff here that i bought for him for xmas and birthdays that he's not been given.

That he isn't going to be given. They're yours to do with as you please. Unless they are of use to you, I hear the call of ebay.

buddiebabe wrote: »

He has my phone, keys for my house and photos....

Ring the girl back and arrange to pick everything up. Don't go alone. It might be best if you could send a friend without you.

buddiebabe wrote: »

I know the warning signs should have been there especially when he couldn't get any time off to come and see me he had an answer for everything but i didn't for a minute expect anything like this. I have wasted the last seven years of my life waiting for him to come home we'd talked about my debts and he was going to help me out and now im left with nothing at all.... not even any self respect.

You should have self-respect. You are willing loving and faithful - you just chose the wrong guy. That's all. There's another girl out there who made exactly the same wrong-choice. The one that phoned you. She probably isn't having a good time of it either.

buddiebabe wrote: »

How could i not realise that he'd been telling me a pack of lies, how stupid am i????

Everyone at work and on here must think im an idiot... i know i do im so ashamed i fell for his lies

No one thinks you're an idiot. You were deceived. That's all. Start living your life now - not someone else's lies.

buddiebabe wrote: »

I just needed to talk to someone and everyone on here listens and is so friendly. Sorry for the depressing post, although im sure there are alot of people that will find it quite funny that i was so stupid... i know i probably would if it wasn't happening to me

Well, hopefully you won't find it funny when the next person in this world is deceived. It's tragic - not funny, and I think most people will see it like that.

buddiebabe

Bambywamby wrote: »

Just wondering...have you actually not seen him for 5 years (as stated in your post) but still go out with him?

I've not seen him for 5 years but I still considered myself part of a couple as we had made plans for the future and spoke nearly every day. Thats what makes it so hard

And why i can see people thinking id be stupid for believing his lies

smashedbooboo

Hi babes. Been through the same as you. I was married though. Twenty years, My ex lives 2 minutes away from me with his now girlfriend. YOU KNOW> THE ONE. 18 months ago my heart was ripped apart. The warning signs were all there. I took time off work. Was sick. lost 3 stone. The only good thing at the time to come out of it. You ill come out of this on top. I know its hard for you to see that now. But you will. I would gather all his stuff up, ring him or text him or his girlfriend and tell him he has two days to cme and get everything or it goes in the bin. If he does not come and get his stuff then either give it to charity or sell it on e bay and have a bloody good night out or a spa day with a friend. You have found out what he is like now. Please dont beat yourself up babe. We are all here for you. You wanna talk anytime day or night there is usually someone here. But please keep posting. We have a tendency to fret about each other if we dont hear from each other for ages. Huge hugs hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Toto

I would imagine that the other girlfriend isn't too happy with him right now and if he isn't chucked out of the house she must really need a friend (to kick her a@@). Be prepared that he might come to you though if he does get thrown out. I have an ex who STILL comes running to me when his latest fling ends in tears, 3 years on! You need to think about how you will handle it if he does turn up. In my experience they always come back, it's just a matter of when. I prefer it though when it's after I am through the swollen eyes phase and into gonna look gorgeous so stuff you stage.

I know it's really easy for me to say, but I think this could be a good thing for you. You deserve someone in your life who does want to share their life with you, who will give you their time and honesty. 5 years of not seeing someone is keeping you emotionally tied and stuck, unable to live your life.

But, it hurts, so now's the time to have a good cry.

smashedbooboo

No Man Is Worth Your Tears, And The One Who Is Wont Make You Cry Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bambywamby

He sound's like a total cad and @rsehole.

Fancy stringing you along for five years wasting your life.

Cold comfort, but this guy isn't worth wiping your bum on. He is obviously the epitomy of selfishness and a total coward.
You may not feel like it now but you are truly better off without him, you will find a man that can give you the love you deserve one day.

Hugs and love

Bam x

ZTD

buddiebabe wrote: »

I really need to stop being so caring and trusting cause i cant take this anymore. Its making me ill.

Don't stop being caring and trusting. We all gain lessons from our relationships. Being caring and trusting does get you hurt - but it has (so far) been a lesson I have chosen not to learn.

buddiebabe

I have just phoned up and put a block on the sim card (its under my name) so unless he knows my number off hand then i shouldn't be hearing from him or her.

He knows where i live but if he's not managed a 40min journey in the last 5 years its doubtful that i will see him. The stuff i have of his will be going on ebay... no question... im not going to be able to do it anytime soon. It hurts 2 much at the moment.

Thanks for all your kind words. The tears have stopped for the moment but are still waiting to be cried... i actually fell asleep earlier cause of it. Im just going to try and chill out infront of the tv and try not to think about it.

I just feel so lonely.
Buddiebabe x

Toto

Instead of feeling lonely focus on all of the things you're now free to do, and not just free to find another man. You can do whatever you choose to do with your life, anything. So, think of something youve always fancied learning or taking up and do it. Getting on with your life is not only the best therapy but the best kick in the face to those we leave behind.

ZTD

buddiebabe wrote: »

I just feel so lonely.

You will, but not for long. Give yourself time, enough time - but you're a single girl now.