Advice needed

Savvy_Sue

islandman wrote: »

Hi, sorry to read about your grandad. It would appear that he is going to become registered disabled and this brings with it endless avenues. I will endevour to, in no particular order, give you pointers.

I may be wrong, but I do not think that a single amputation below the knee automatically leads to being registered as disabled. I am SURE this is the case for younger people. Which would mean that he would have to fill in the forms for DLA making the most of what he CAN'T do, which is not the way most people think.

apart from that I can't add to what everyone else has said. There should be an assessment while he's in hospital, he shouldn't be discharged without adequate support in place, he may well be sent to a rehab unit rather than kept in hospital. Regrettably what should happen doesn't always ...

missile

RAS wrote: »

Hi again

I understand missilies point and by the time we got to that stage we had already been taking responsibility for several years.

I am sorry if you felt I was implying that you had not cared for your mum. That was certainly not my intention and I know that is not the case from your previous posts.

missile

jovichick123 wrote: »

If anyone has any suggestions of anything else

Hi Sarah,
Having spent some time in hospital, I know how depressing it can be. It is the little things that make all the difference. Obviously you cannot visit everyday, but you could write a brief note each day telling him what you have been doing with maybe a photo or two. I know this would brighten his day and give him something to look forward to.

RAS

Brilliant idea. Possibly not just you. The odd dawbing from you son might be appreciated.

Would cheer him up no end.

margaretclare

Please DO NOT give so-called 'diabetic sweets'. Many confectionery retailers no longer sell these anyway - Boots gave up selling them some time ago on advice from Diabetes UK. http://www.diabetes.org.uk/

Reason: they are sweetened with sorbitol, which is a powerful laxative. OK if you only eat a tiny amount, but someone on their own, may get bored, the risk of 'pigging out' on diabetic sweets can have a disastrous effect.

I once worked in a nursing home where a lady's niece brought her these. 'Oh, they're fine for her, they're diabetic sweets, must be OK'. Trouble was, the lady scoffed the lot in one go and had horrendous diarrhoea which resulted in a prolapsed rectum. Not nice at all.

Margaret

missile

I don't even want to know what a prolapsed rectum is :-)

maytaurus

jovichick123...
SO sorry to hear about your Granddad… my thoughts are with you….as I know how hard it is to see people we love suffering…esp if we cannot be with them all the time…
(Please all excuse the length of this post…I could spend weeks going into problems/failures with NHS and health and welfare issues etc etc !!
I really have tried not to go on+ on etc…BUT IT’S SO DIFFICULT
:eek::eek::eek::eek:…..)

I wish I’d had the opportunity to consult MSE when my uncle was ill
Ooohhh!... so many people with so much information including :money: of course
I also wish I hadn’t been so naïve in thinking that an elderly person, who lived alone and was leaving hospital after recovering from DEATH! ....
Would automatically be shown consideration and offered/ given help/support! (How wrong I was!)
jovichick123 Please gather as much information as you can!
I would like to suggest that you contact www.benefitsandwork.co.uk
You can view info on their web pages 1st
They have been helpful to me recently,
after constant promises of help and info from several other sources not materialising l-o-l
They can give you help and info about lots of things,
And I have to say, I was spoken to as a human being, by another human being,
Who seemed to actually have some understanding and empathy…and even the ability to give me factually correct information WOW !!
I sincerely hope you get the help you and your granddad need!!

I would agree with*tanith*
His home should be properly assessed ---but as *missile* said this takes time...??!
which is of course no use whatsoever when they discharge someone, send them home, with no thought or consideration whatsoever for their welfare
'missile'
I am really pleased for you, that the hosp where you live, seems to be so helpful re; leaving hospital and visiting people to advise and act on help and welfare concerns
even when they appear to want to help, you have also said
'they are under resourced and the visit can be weeks after discharge'!
Depending on the schedule with your granddad
You may find that he will spend quite some time…
*JUST RECOVERING !! *and won’t necessarily want to do an awful lot
Also watch out for him getting depression


jovichick123

*Things to add 2 your goody box*

As my uncle was getting better….
We found that he really appreciated packs/ boxes of
*baby wipes/wet wipes*
When we 1st took them in he was 000000000000000000000000000
But he soon said he found them invaluable and always has some in at home
He also appreciated nice
razor+wash bag
body spray deodorants as it made him feel fresher (as well as the room!)
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
I am sure he would appreciate you cleaning his teeth for him
(If applicable l-o-l) as I know this can make you feel so much better
Face cloth (you might like to keep a check on this for washing/replacing it)
Own towel
Hair brush (comb)
Bottled water, fruit juice etc
A bag of change for phones newspapers etc
Paper tissues
Dressing gown
Pyjamas
Slippers
Underclothes
Socks
Ear plugs
Playing cards
Small pots of fruit in natural juice and rice pudding
Mints and natural fruit juice drops
Fresh fruit and other food he fancied to eat …..
(But we only got him this to order so that we knew it was fresh and not been *hanging about*)
Crosswords
Book to read
Your granddad may be interested in;
Listening to audio books or music with a personal cd or similar
Pen, pencil, paper
And you might like to take in some
Anti-bacterial wipes when you visit him
To clean his locker, bedside cabinet, light switches, phone remote controls etc
Remember please never leave anything that is of real importance/ value/ irreplaceable at the hospital
Because nothing is guaranteed to be safe

**I’m sure the MOST IMPORTANT thing of all is for him to
Know HOW MUCH you love him,
Having contact with you and any time you can spend with him**
(u might get bored if you read past here l-o-l ! :grouphug:)

…… I just want people to know that in my experience, it was extremely difficult finding someone to even discuss care,
after care, or any sort of assessment/help whatsoever!!

recently...
My uncle, who is a 79 yrs young bachelor, is totally independent, doesn't drink or smoke, is a super artist and walks miles most days. He relies on public transport for any distance further than he can walk
He has a great sense of humour and we know that these things helped him to survive
It was different for us,(COMPARED TO jovichick123 AND A LOT OF OTHERS), as we had no warning or time to make any enquiries or gather information regarding my uncles care etc
...He had an out of hospital cardiac arrest.
So he was in fact dead
We are his only relatives and live 60 miles away
We were told by the hospital that “it would be A MIRACLE if he survived”
And everyone concerned agrees that it certainly HAS BEEN!
He was resuscitated... kept 'on ice... in a coma’ for 2 weeks...
during the time he was in the coma he had a further 2 heart attacks
the medical care he received was obviously very good in intensive care.
We are very grateful for the care he was given by some wonderful staff in intensive care and made sure that they knew of our gratitude
BUT :mad: as soon as the immediate threat had been removed ...
:shocked: He was put into a room on his own and nobody explained, advised or reassured him about anything!
During this time I contacted several different sources regarding his house/home situation
The hospital would not give us his house keys,
They explained that as he was still alive, we could not be given them as *next of kin*
The keys could only be given to my uncle to sign for
..But of course that couldn’t happen because he was in a coma.
I contacted the police, explained the situ and asked them if they could possibly keep an eye on his property?
Particularly as most of the property around his home is empty (as explained further on…) and he had left the bedroom window open…
That (and HOPE!) was all we could do in the way of trying to safe guard his home
Evidently the only way even the police could have got into the property was IF he had a pet…in which case we would have had to contact the RSPCA who would then have contacted the police who COULD then have entered the property to remove the animal, but still couldn’t have let US into the property as the owner was in a coma and couldn’t give permission
SO therefore we had to go out and buy him everything that he needed
And believe me, plenty of that disappeared as well!
He was moved 3 times within the same hospital and each time I had to tell the new staff the same things,
he had type 2 diabetes...
he couldn't hear the staff clearly as his hearing aids had gone missing...
he was having problems with his memory (obviously because of what he'd been though)
as in when he first came round he wanted to know where his mum was ?
When he could begin to communicate with us, he couldn't remember anything and couldn't believe us when we told him how long he'd been in hospital
And he hadn't a clue what had happened to him!

I also kept asking about all the things that were missing (his clothes) etc and the things we’d brought into hospital ourselves?
Then he was moved to another hospital
where he was also moved twice...
although most of the time he was ignored in a side ward
he told us that he was made to feel 'in the way and irrelevant' at every opportunity
that the constant change over of staff meant that he would ask someone something and never get any answers /help or whatever
He begged us to take him home!
He said he would never get better in there and we had to agree with him
*One of the reasons they said they had him in a room of his own,
was because they said he had picked up an infection*
This didn’t surprise us in the least with the level of cleanliness etc we’d seen since he came out of intensive care!
Nobody offered to wash anything for him all the time he was there
We wondered where all the new pyjamas we had brought him kept disappearing to
my uncle said he presumed they’d been thrown away because of infection problems and the room smelt disgusting so we presumed that he was right
Then whilst we were wiping round the room with some disinfectant wipes we found . ..*2 pairs of pyjamas under the bed and
another 2 pair in his locker which could have only been put there by staff as he could’t get out of bed!!
We told the hospital that he wanted to come home and they said ok
YOU CAN COLLECT HIM TOMORROW
we will arrange for a porter to take him to the office to sign for his housekeys !!
And we had to beg him to stay overnight …
so that we could try to get some things organised
I was really worried because as I said he lives alone and like jovichick123 we are in Cheshire and 60 miles away from him
Nobody looked at, or even asked about, his 2 bed roomed home which is in a regeneration area where most of the property around him is empty!
The house was damp and there is no heating. except for 1 gas fire downstairs!
Of course his bed is upstairs
We cleaned the house,
Emptied the kitchen bin which had been there 6 wks
Made sure everywhere was clean and disinfected
Aired everything
We got all the shopping in and stocked up with non perishables as well as fresh foods and just did as much as we could
I AM PLEASED TO SAY he has now made a full recovery !!:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j
AND WE KNOW THAT’S THE MAIN THING…
… is back to walking 2 or 3 miles most days
(which is a lot more than I can do! L-O-L )
....most of his belongings, inc coat, shoes, his hearing aids and a pair of spectacles ... were never returned to him despite us constantly asking about them…even after his return home!...
The thing he was most upset about was his silver RAF lapel badge! :sad:...and his Liverpool fc badge, which were on his coat
And dozens of people have told us that they have had the same experiences, especially with regards to missing clothes etc
Evidently … one of the most common things to disappear are
FALSE TEETH! :eek: :eek: :eek:
The thing he wa s most upset about was his silver RAF lapel badge! :sad:...and his Liverpool fc badge which were on his coat
WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ILL…
AND HAVEN’T GOT SOMEBODY TO LOOK AFTER or watch out for them, their health,best interests etc ?
If you r visiting a loved one in hospital,
spare a thought for people who haven't any (or few) visitors,
Sometimes a few words from you or just a wave can make so much difference to their day and you could always keep your eyes open for any opportunity to help
Even if it's only offering to get them fresh water

And where are all these missing items:question:
There must be 1000’s of them!
Anybody got any theories/info????:question: :idea:

Savvy_Sue

I know it is not funny, but I have a vision of all these missing pairs of false teeth chattering away in a disembodied way, with a battery of disembodied hearing aids listening in ...

It is not even as if these things are of use to anyone else!

When I was in hospital for surgery on a (benign) brain tumour I felt very sorry for an elderly lady admitted shortly before I was discharged. She was moved to my ward from another one, and did not seem to know where she was, or what was going on. And once the nurse who brought her in had left, no-one seemed to come near her for hours! I did not feel up to conversation, but when a nurse came to take my blood pressure I did say that she seemed a little 'lost'. Even so I did not feel she was given much attention, whereas I had been welcomed and (mostly) well looked after.

Errata

Maytaurus, nothing in your post surprises me. What I find shocking is the lack of care and respect an older person receives from hospital, care home and home care staff, who are mostly women.

Savvy_Sue

I did have a more serious thought about the dentures and hearing aids. AFAIK, these are not normally named - I know my hearing aid isn't! So once they're separated from their owners, it must be well nigh impossible to reunite them.

Of course staff should take extra care NOT to separate such personal items from their owners, but once gone, where do you start looking?