Advice needed

jovichick123

Hi all,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this so apologies if I have got it wrong!

I am posting on here because I am concerned about my Grandad, hes 80 years old and currently in hospital having had an operation to remove part of his leg from the knee down (he has diabetes and having had all the available treatments to help blood flow to his legs, this was the only option).

My question is about the help that will be available to him when he is discharged from hospital. I want to be sure that he will still be able to have a decent quality of life. He lives alone (we lost my Nan two years ago) and his house is not in least bit wheelchair friendly. Does anyone know if there is any help available in terms of converting a house to accomodate his new problems (both his bedroom and toilet are upstairs)? Even if I could be pointed in the right direction as to where to get help?

I am looking into the possibility of moving down to be near him (it's complicated as I am due to complete the final year of my degree next year and I have a two year old son). Of course though, if he was not going to be able to get help, I would move in an instant - he's done so much for me over the years.

Any help would be much appreciated,

Thanks,

Sarah xx

missile

Before your dad is discharged the hospital will (or at least mine does) check to see if he has sufficient care available to help him at home. For example, if he has stairs they will do a trial to see if he can climb them. When appropriate they will also contact the social work department who will visit to see what modifications to his property / aids can be provided to make his life easier. Unfortunately they are under resourced and the visit can be weeks after he is discharged and I suggest you phone his local council - do it soonest as they may have a long waiting list. Speak to the ward sister on your next hospital visit.

You may get some good advice and assistance from the DWP.

I don't know if your grandfather was in the forces or a church goer? You might want to contact both the local WRVI, British Legion, priest or .... (as appropriate to your faith).

tanith

Hi Sarah sorry to hear about your Grandad what a difficult time... you may find that the hospital will discharge your Grandad to a Community Hospital with a Rehabilitation Unit to start with so that he can be taught how to cope with his disability.. If they do not suggest this then you do so yourself, he needs time to adjust and coping strategies so that he can get himself in and out of his chair etc.... and in a large hospital they just don't spend the time with people that is needed....

His home should be properly assessed but as missile said this takes time...

If you don't get anywhere with the ward sister ask to talk to the PALS officer thats Patient Liason Services every hospital should have one and you can talk things over with them and tell them about your concerns.. they will at least point you in the right direction....

I hope you get the help you need and that Grandad recovers well, he may actually cope better than you think.....

Good luck and let us know how things go....

System

Hi, sorry to read about your grandad. It would appear that he is going to become registered disabled and this brings with it endless avenues. I will endevour to, in no particular order, give you pointers.

Prior to his discharge, the hospital SHOULD be ensuring that on his return home, there are no problems. A social worker/occuptaional therapist should do a reckie to determine if in fact he CAN return home. So many factors come into play. Steps to house, bathroom/toilet facilities/ bedroom, ability to feed/cook for himself. He has to show them all these things require no addiditional changes, if one of them present a problem, then the occupational therapist will make recommendations. If this is required, a great deal of time is required to implement the recommendations. For example, if a grab rail is required, then that's easy, if getting into and out of the bath is a non-starter, then they may well recommend the bath be removed and a shower installed. That is no overnight change. Oh, at this stage two things I should say. Both these people who assess, do it to both private and council accommodation. Also it is not means tested. They will want him out of hospital/care and independent. Were he a council tenant, it might be easy to transfer him to a flat designed for disability access.

What they might be looking for, will be family members who can or are available to take on various tasks. BUT, you should be well aware that if you say "yes, I can do this" or that, they'll let you. A better reply would be to say something like, "I will do what I can when I can, but can offer no reliability", then they will see they HAVE to ensure every aspect is covered.

Equally, you should ensure that your grandad dosen't try to fob them off with independence, saying he can manage. He may be able to now, but a week or so down the line may well be a different matter.

Having just spoken to my wife who now is disabled herself, was previously a warden of a sheltered housing complex, she says "they will in all probability try to get him into respite care for a while, to see how he copes.". Whilst there, they should liaise with whoever is next of kin, to try to resolve any issues. It may well be that they recommend sheltered housing, a retirement home etc. Even private sheltered housing have to take people who are waiting for council accommodation.

This is how we understand the situation, given my wife's experience prior to becomming reg.dis. We have recently had so many adaptations carried out to make or give her independence. Do not consider paying for anything at this stage. It is all available for the asking. Oh, and he will be eligable for a Blue Badge even if he dosn't drive. It is used when someone else takes him out just as long as he remains with the driver. I will keep popping back to see what progress is being made. When you next speak to someone in authority at the hospital, given that you may be next of kin, simply state you are concerned regarding his ability to cope on discharge.

missile

Jovichick,
You might want to post on the benefits section where I am sure you will get advice on how to work through the system to ensure your grandad gets whatever he may be entitled to.

Ted_Hutchinson

Direct Gov help for disabled as has been suggested there is support but accessing it can be difficult so you really need to set to and start on the steep learning curve to find what help is available to ensure your Grandad gets all he is entitled to.

Do be prepared to seek advice, a claim for the highest rate of Attendance Allowance also leads to other benefits but claiming it and being awarded the highest rate are different matters and it really needs the support of a welfare rights experienced person.

System

Yes I would endorse that. The Welfare Rights people are a fountain of knowledge. I suppose you could make an appointment to see them even if you get information doubled-up.

RAS

Prior to his discharge, the hospital SHOULD be ensuring that on his return home, there are no problems. A social worker/occuptaional therapist should do a reckie to determine if in fact he CAN return home.

Just to share a bit of our experience:

Three time local hospitals (different Trusts) sent mum home without an assessment or after an assessment indicated problems that had not been resolved. Twice they did this when friends went to visit, were told that she was ready for discharge and agreed to look after her. As they had agreed to sort her needs out, the hospital was discharged from their responsibility.

On the first occasion she had had major surgery, was supposed to be visited daily by the district nurse and was not allowed to do any housekeeping, shopping or washing. Her GP and Social worker were livid, even more so as this was done late on Friday morning which meant they had no chance of putting any suport mechanism in place before the weekend. What the friends did was to take her home, settle her inand call me and tell me i needed to get down to look after her for the weekend.

A similiar thing happened after they did an assessment. I nhad pointed out that the central heating had packed up. Before I could get anyone to sort it out, she was home and freezing cold.

The last time, she was discharged from casualty without an assessment after she broke her foot walking into the side of a moving car. Foot in a pot, holding a zimmer frame, with no-one at home and no way of getting to her bed! The following morning she was re-admitted to hospital. Despite arrangments between the hospital and Social Services, the following morning Ds and I were both rung by the ward and told to collect her.

You need to be really careful how you handle this, as your love and support could depive your grand dad of the help that he needs longer term. On two occasions, her key worker advised me not to offer help because that would prevent her getting properly assessed. The last time she actually advised that we did not let mum's friends know where she was, so that the hospital could not send her home in the same way again. Sadly, we also decided that we dared not visit her for the same reason.

missile

If family and friends are not willing to take on the responsibility, then they will most likely stay in hospital longer than neccessary.

jovichick123

Hi all,

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has posted help and advice. I will check out the websites suggested and see what help is available that way.

My biggest concern with him going home (which I know will be a few weeks/months down the line) is that he won't be able to cope. He lives in a remote part of Suffolk, his nearest son lives over an hours drive away and me and my mum both live in Cheshire. I couldn't promise to be able to move at this stage, it's just that if needed, I could see about transferring Uni for my final year (or taking a year out - whichever is easiest!). It's a bit difficult as Mum can't move due to her job and she's only just bought a house and his two sons (my uncles) are both settled with children (as am I but I don't have property etc tying me down).

I guess it's just a case of seeing that he gets all the help he needs as quickly as possible and dealing with it from there.

I am putting together a box of goodies for him to try and cheer him up, I'm sending it next week for my uncle to take to him (I am in the middle of exams at the moment but should be able to get down to see him in about 2 weeks time). So far my list includes:

Homemade biscuits
A biography of Dean Martin
Handwritten letter
Stationery set (so he can write back lol)
Pen set
Book of crosswords
A painting and some piccies of DS (2 yrs)

If anyone has any suggestions of anything else I could put in, they are very welcome, I want him to know that despite not being able to be there for him in person at the moment, he is on my mind all the time.

Anyway, thanks again everyone, will let you know how he goes on!

Sarah xx

RAS

Hi again

I understand missilies point and by the time we got to that stage we had already been taking responsibility for several years. But when it gets to the stage that both her GP and her key worker are advising that the only way to get her the proper assessment and help is keep our noses out for a while, we took their advice. In the short term, the second time it made a real differnece to the support she got. After the third incident, the advice was that she should not go home.

Sadly, she had fired the care team and would not let anyone except me in the house to help her and that only after continual fights. Since I lived 200 miles away, she was not getting the day to day support she needed and was at risk. She was not eating, drinking properly, was incontinent, nothing was washed etc. Dirty Dishevellled and disorientated, was the official description. If we could have got her to accept help, we could have kept her at home, but she refused.

Regarding the pressie pack

stamps
cards or post cards he can send friends?

Hospital food can be really boring. Since he is diabetic, normal sauces might be a bit difficult, but can you find a savoury condiment that he likes, sauce, mustard, pickle or similiar that will pick up bland food.

Diabetic sweets. Some are reasonably priced
Oat cakes, then get others to take cheese.

Does he have access to hand-wipes?

Pack of cards with which to play patience, and maybe games with other patients.