Diary of a Foolish woman wanting to mend her ways

sistafromanothermista

alwaysworried wrote: »

Thanks so much everyone. I feel so glad that I spoke to him.

Tonight we were all putting up the tree and I kept thinking if I hadn't spoken to him I wouldn't have been enjoying the family time.

I do keep crying but he tells me it's not the end of the world and we will get by it.

I feel such a relief.

He's right, worse things could happen. :kisses3:
As others have said, keep your chin up and try to remain positive (i know it's hard) you'll get there in the end. xx

alwaysworried_2

Evening everyone,

Haven't updated on here for a couple of days, basically because there isn't really anything to update.

All the balance transfers that we can do have been done and the bills for these wont come in until the end of December/beginning of January. I so cannot wait to get started on paying these.

Went shopping tonight (with DH) to Aldi and spent about £26 which is quite good. Do need to get tea bags, diluting juice, HP sauce, and cold meat. Im afraid we are snobs when it comes to these things as we wont stray away from our normal brands, so we get these at Asda. Also need to get potato scones, bacon and sausages but I go to the butchers and farmfoods for these.

Today when I took DS to school I found a penny, and I couldn't help but think "oh that's a penny off the debt" lol. I have a big tub which I keep my 1p, 2p and 5p's in so it went straight into that. I feel so miserly thinking that way, but now I don't care, the quicker we can get rid of this the better.

Onwards and upwards just hope the feeling stays and I don't start to feel really down again. Dont think this guilty feeling of letting my family down is every going to go away.

StressedSteph

alwaysworried wrote: »

Dont think this guilty feeling of letting my family down is every going to go away.

Morning AW,

The big question is:- Did you spend all that money on JUST yourself???

I am pretty sure the answer is similar to mine - It was on all the familys clothes, emergencies like car breakdown, birthdays, Christmas's, the odd family gadget etc etc etc.

I know that WE were the ones that said, yes "oh go on then, lets get that ******) when we should probably have said NO. But as mothers we want our family to have everything they want, when they want it and its HARD to say no.

Please, Please, Please do not beat yourself up. Its so so easy to get into this situation over a very short period of time.

We just need to toughen up and learn to budget. Its not the crime of the century.

Be kinder to yourself (((((BIG HUGS))))))

Fae

All I can say is I agree with Steph

Fae

MummyRivett

alwaysworried wrote: »

Today when I took DS to school I found a penny, and I couldn't help but think "oh that's a penny off the debt" lol. I have a big tub which I keep my 1p, 2p and 5p's in so it went straight into that. I feel so miserly thinking that way, but now I don't care, the quicker we can get rid of this the better.

I always pick up change off the floor, I think it is a captial idea

MummyRivett

I agree with Steph, most of my debt is things I spent on others.

alwaysworried_2

Afternoon everyone, hope you are all well.

Things still looking okay infact hubby has reduced the overdraft and we are now in the black :T.
He had quite a bit of overtime and we also sold a few things on gumtree. We have cut back on our food shopping and so managed to get the overdraft cleared.

I would never have been able to do that. Granted most of it has been paid off because of things we have sold but still I'm so pleased that's out of the way. It feels so good to see the bank balance in the black. Dont get me wrong it's not in the black by much but it's still in the black :j

yesterday I had to go into town and I didn't take my bank card with me. I had cash in my purse and got exactly what I needed.

have stopped wasting a load of food too, so thinking a lot more about that and that's also helping.

I am so glad I spoke to my husband, I wish I had done it ages ago because I wouldn't have got in such a mess.

fozmcfc

Great to pop back into someone thread after a couple of weeks and see positives.

As I said earlier, telling your husband was definitely the best thing you could have done. Now he is over the initial shock, he can obviously see that you can work through this and be debt free.

I think you have also realised that you need to be really frugal at the beginning, but the treats are able to come into it after a while.

Clearing the first debt, no matter how small is also a big step, it is one less debt to worry about.

Many of us, including myself, have handed over control of at least our cards if not complete finances to family members, to help us certainly in the beginning.

Things can only keep getting better and better now your husband is on board and things are under control.

StressedSteph

Morning AW,

Glad to hear you are out of the OD, I have till at least March / April before I can see the back of mine .

Keep updating your signature so we can see you reducing your debt, it helps us, as much as it will help you to keep going.

Its good you have told him and he has had time to calm down.
Whats happenning with Christmas presents for the children? You did say a while ago that you were worried he would'nt let you buy any in all the panic.?

Hope you are having a good week.
StressedSteph

alwaysworried_2

hi Steph,

the figure in my signature didn't include my overdraft, so when the credit card bills come in I can start to show it being reduced when they get paid.

Hubby has more overtime coming in before Christmas (his overtime was meant to have been stopped, but hey I'm not complaining) and we have a few more things listed on eBay/gumtree so hopefully they will be sold too. My husband is selling a load of fishing gear that has been lying in the garage for a while so I'm hoping that will be sold and fetch some money for payments to the credit cards. I'm also going to be selling some clothes, shoes and bags that i don't use.

With regards to my oldest sons Christmas presents, I've got them in now. My mum and dad always give us money for Christmas before Christmas, they also give us the kids' money so we can go and buy them something from their grandparents, so, the money they gave for my husband and I has been spent on my oldest. My husband and I don't need anything anyway. My husband said he was quite happy to spend it on DS because he would have just wasted it on rubbish like take way or beer lol, and I would have probably spent mine on the kids anyway cos that's what I usually do.
Ive got £10 in my purse left over from DS's Christmas money to buy him pyjamas (he's into adult sizes now) so will get them at the weekend. The kids don't have as much as they usually do, but they still have what they asked for. Usually I get them a lot more but what's the point half the things they get they never play with or use.

I did go through the credit card statements with hubby and he did see that I didn't spend all the money on myself. It went on us all, but I still feel guilty because I should have said no, we'll no point in dwelling on the past its done now, and I will never get into debt again.

I so can't wait until 2012 is over with, for other reasons including money problems, this has been the worse year of my life.

Onward and onwards.