Diary of a Foolish woman wanting to mend her ways

Choc-addict

Morning,

That is a really reasonable sum to be able to throw at the debts. You'll start seeing results very quickly with that.

I'm sorry your husband is still being negative. Hopefully he will calm down soon. Meanwhile you just remember that you didn't go spending it all on yourself living it up and that you have held your hands up and asked for help.

I think as well as the debts you need to be looking after yourself - start with small baby steps and build yourself up. Don't let your husband beat you up about this any more. You've admitted you did wrong and that you can't handle the finances - he can't keep throwing things at you. Try and be strong and tell him enoughs enough, you are sorting it - that's the main thing.

Perhaps for your own sanity and peace of mind start e-baying, doing surveys anything you can do that'll help bring in a little extra cash albeit small but every penny counts and start to bring down the overdraft.

Take care of yourself and pls pls pls stop beating yourself up. You will be fine and this will sort itself out. It's only money.

xx

alwaysworried_2

Thanks everyone for your kind replies.

Things are a bit better. He has said he will just pay as much as we can into the barclaycard and Argos card and the minimum payments on the other cards for now. He is certain there will be over time after the new year and will be able to pay that to the debts.
He also said if after the interest free deals have expired and the cards aren't paid off he will just bounce the balance between the cards. Is there any drawbacks In doing this?

He apologised for the way he has been with me and the way he spoke to me. He was quite upset when I told him I didn't think I could have went to him with this problem, but I then told him "we'll look at the way you're reacting its no wonder I feel that way". he was then upset at how I must have been feeling carrying all this on my shoulders.

We both went shopping yesterday and we spent £26 in Aldi, £7.00 in butchers and £3.50 in Farmfoods.
We bought only what we needed and he said no treats to be bought until he gets himself into a routine and finds out exactly how much money he needs etc.

I know there will be days when he is annoyed and angry but I will just have to deal with them and hopefully they won't be as bad as they have been the past couple of days.

At least I got a decent sleep last night hopefully the same tonight again.

I will continue to update my diary. Even though he is the one dealing with the finances, it will still be good to see the figures come down.

brizzledfw

Great to see your last post AW.. Sounds like things are getting more manageable. Sleep well hun.

Brizzle

kittycatfan

hi just like you my other half paid of some debts for me about 5,000 worth about 3 years ago , i have now racked up another 7000 worth and i havent told him as hell flip im paying as much and as quick as i can but its taking ages to go down , i went shopping at aldi and tesco and got it from about 100 to 75 so it can be done just dont buy any luxuries, like you i have a child with hollow legs and hes constantly eating he hasnt liked less food in the cupboards this week so hey to bad as the 25 i saved on shopping i paid it of towards my tsb credit card , have you balanced transferred all your cc bills as im saving 43 alone a month now just on interest , i will you luck in paying your debts i no exactly how your feeling im sure for both of us we will sort these debts:T

MummyRivett

Dear AW,

I am very proud of you for facing your debt problem, I totally understand how you feel, as I have had anxiety attacks and palpitations for several months now, at one point I thought I was having a heart attack. I had buried my head in the sand for too long the more I thought about it, the more I would spend.

It may seem frightening but if you put your mind to it you can clear everything, one step at a time. I have found some really good advice, challenges and there are lots of wonderfully supportive understanding people here too.

There is a great sense of achievement in clearing your debt and every saving is a step towards that greater goal. You have done a very brave thing by facing your debt head on and although it seems a mountain now, thing of how smaller it will be by this time next year.

I am subscribing to your diary. I thank you for writing it with such honesty. You have a friend here who is routing for you and understands your burden, I'm right there with you chiseling away at my own debt, knowing the one day there will be just one speck left to blow away.

Good luck honey, deep breath and keep your chin up.

x

StressedSteph

Morning AW

I was sooooo pleased to read our last post. I am so glad he has calmed down and realised that he can't beat you up more than you are already beating yourself up .

You have turned a corner now, he has stopped over-reacting and is now looking at it constructively, which is all you can do. Its probably good you told him in the long run, I'll bet with his help you will crack 90% of this debt next year. BIG HUGS TO YOU xxxx

Keep posting, we would miss you x

Fae

Hi AW

Really please to hear your Husband has calmed down, and is now being understanding, I'm sure with you both now working together you'll get this cracked.

Fae

alwaysworried_2

Thanks so much everyone. I feel so glad that I spoke to him.

Tonight we were all putting up the tree and I kept thinking if I hadn't spoken to him I wouldn't have been enjoying the family time.

I do keep crying but he tells me it's not the end of the world and we will get by it.

I feel such a relief.

MummyRivett

AW,

That's what a marriage is about supporting one another.

I am happy for you, it's always good to be honest with one another.

Sounds like you had a really great end to the weekend.

Choc-addict

I'm so glad to hear that things are improving AW.

There is so much you can do to help with clearing the debts that does not involve managing the money....meal planning, cheaper shopping, surveys for vouchers helps with bday and xmas presents, mystery shopping (bring in a bit of spare money), ebay, saving loose change, forward planning etc etc.....why not take up some of the challenges on here to help you along your way? It's amazing what some people achieve!

Good luck xx