Diary of a Foolish woman wanting to mend her ways

please-let-me-be-lucky

Big Hugs AW! It's so sad that you have got yourself so depressed over everything and I'm relieved that you didn't go through with the pills. Your boys need you.

Please keep posting so we can support you as much as we can. Martin says no debt is unsolvable and there is a wealth of information on here. I agree with Steph that perhaps posting your SOA might help.

You need to eat something too. It won't be helping the way you feel if you are energy-less and fatigued. Punishing yourself through not eating is not the way. If you want to be hard on yourself, do something constructive like challenging yourself to make £100 on eb@y etc. This will kill two birds with one stone.

Hopefully you and DH can work together now Xx

alwaysworried_2

I just can't eat anything I feel so sick.

StressedSteph

AW it really isnt an insurmountable debt, there are countless peole on here with 40k + debt.

You have to feel positive and like Please-let-me-be-lucky said, get angry and get Ebaying things, car booting, get over-time or an extra job. Don't let it make you miserable, it is only money. At least your family are healthy.

I know its your oh's anger thats making you sad, but he can't stay angry forever. Tell him, if he thinks he can do a better job, then he had better take over the finances. Because if you have accrued the debt like I think you have, (same as me) which is just little by little buying nice things for everyone HIM INCLUDED. and yes, maybe we should have said "No, we can't afford it", but you are probably like me where you want your family to have what they want, within reason. but its very quick how the debts rise up and it take 6 times longer to get rid of them.

Please do an SOA, there could be loads of savings you could make on certain household bills etc. Do the snowball calculator as its lovely to see how if you are determind and strong you can get rid of the debt within a year, most often

I have 17k of debt and if we pay £800 off each month I can get rid of it in 1.1/2 years. You have less debt than me.

Come on, think positive. you can do it xxxx

dd1981

AW I really feel for you honey. You have taken a massive step forward in telling your OH. Well done He will be mad just now but that will pass and you can feel easier that he knows and I hope will be supportive in the long run.

Very glad you didn't take all those pills, you CAN get through this. I'm in a similar amount of debt as you and we can both drive the debt down and move on in our lives. Mistakes have been made but let's learn from them and begin to live the life we want to live.

Dd
x

fozmcfc

Talk of ending it, has to stop, you've two children, that is simply not an option, never ever. At the end of the day it is only money and you are ready to face up to it.

I think you did right in telling your husband, he is obviously just in shock at the moment, so he also is probably panicking, hopefully when he sees you are serious, he will accept the situation.

You could consider a DMP (with Payplan or Stepchange who were called CCCS previously), it will ruin your credit rating for 6 years, but at least you will be paying back manageable amounts, so you have money to live on as well as paying back the debt.

Or at least for now post up an SOA (statement of affairs) and let people take a look at possible cutbacks you could make.

I don't want to be harsh, but certainly in the early days and to help convince your husband you are completely serious you need to avoid all unnecessary spending.

I managed to clear £15k myself and certainly for the first year or so, I was completely committed to it and all unnecessary spending was cut.

It's a bit like a diet, where you need to put in the hard work particularly at the beginning to start to see results.

In both cases no treats until solid progress is made, then allow the odd treat to keep yourself motivated.

Best of luck, now you have had your light bulb moment, things can now only get better.

Fudgefund

Oh alwaysworried, I've just read your diary and do feel so sorry for you.

I think you've done the right thing by telling your husband, and hopefully this way if you don't have enough excess income to attack your debts that way, you can get onboard as a family with a repayment plan through one of the debt charities.

I know you're in depair at the moment, but sometimes when you're at the bottom you get some real determination to turn things around, and that's what you need to hold onto. If you are suffering from depression and anxiety I would recommend going to see your GP, I had to, and although I still have bad days (well documented on here!) things seem a lot better than they used to.

Remember your family love you and care for you and would be devastated if you weren't here. x

alwaysworried_2

Thank you everyone.

I have contacted step plan but they advised because I'm meeting minimum payments and have about £550 every month after they have been paid therefore nothing they can do!

I got a cop of my credit rating from Experian and it says my credit rating is excellent. The RBS have done a check on me as it shows on m file.
I was hoping this would be a positive thing, however, someone one th loans board has said doesn't mean a thing. I don't understand then why they do a credit check.

If we are successful in getting the loan, we will and approx £800 per month which wil be so much better.

I just hope we get this loan.

StressedSteph

Moring AW

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Do you know how long it will take to find out?.

xx

Choc-addict

Hi alwaysworried,

I just read your diary and it made me so sad to see how worried and upset you have/are.

There is always something that you can do to sort out the debts and you will. FC for your loan and if not then i'm sure that you can sort it with a bit of positivity and hard work along with the support of your husband.

I'm sure the fact that your husband is angry/hurt at the minute is probably making you feel 100 times worse. But as others have said, i'm sure he has benefited in some way from the spending that has occured. We've all done it so please please please don't beat yourself up.

Please don't punish yourself and remember that all us guys are here to support you along the way, whatever happens! xx

brizzledfw

Hi honey

Stay calm. Whilst I don't know a lot about going bankrupt etc I dont think that sounds like the solution for you..and taking pills CERTAINLY isn't.
Of course he's angry - but its shock AND I very much doubt that you ran up this debt all on your own..I bet he benefitted too. Did he wonder where everything was coming from?

But you do need to change..even if its babysteps..and maybe even £200 on each child is too much....your house, your sanity or a DS...seems like a no brainer to me ;-)

Post an SOA and you will get loads of advice. Can you do one this eve?

I will subscribe and check in..oh and by the way.. in my experience..you need to post regularly..that way you make much more progress on your journey to a debt free life!

hugs

Brizzle