Diary of a Foolish woman wanting to mend her ways

StressedSteph

Morning AW.

I know what you mean about Christmas present worries.

I have gotten my 2 childrens present (from catalogue though :mad: = more debt), but we are just too broke at the moment to buy presents with cash .

I haven't got them much and it will probably only be about three presents each. Feel like such a crap mother not being able to give them a lovely big pile of pressies.

Still have their stocking fillers to get as well, not sure how that is going to happen.

How much do you spend on your children and do you feel the pressure to get a large amount for them?.

xxx

alwaysworried_2

Hi Steph,

I probably spend about £200 on each of my kids, ive got 2 boys.

Im lucky my oldest understands (hes 15) that I cant afford everything. We do have a big family so they will get from them too.

My youngest has asked for 3 things, but one of them is a DS:eek: I managed to get him a deal via Argos a few weeks ago where I could get him the DS and one of the games he asked for for £180, and the other thing moshi monster figures which were about £6 in asda.

I dont mind spending that on them. I know people will say thats too much, but I honestly dont buy them alot during the year. Anything they want during the year they have to save up their pocket money for, and it isnt me that gives them pocket money its their grandparents.

Keep your chin up hun, we are not bad mums x

alwaysworried_2

I think I have squirrels in my loft :eek:

Im lying in my bed reading diaries on MSE and I hear this noise thought it was outside but couldn't see anything. hears it again and realise its coming from the loft.

I really don't need this. I've phoned hubby at work, but he can't come home until the morning to deal with it. I haven't heard it before so in hoping they have just got in and there isn't too much damage and hubby can get rid of the squirrel and fix any damage it's done.

Doubt I will get an sleep tonight:mad::mad::mad:

StressedSteph

Morning AW,

Hope you got some sleep in the end last night. Was it really a squirrell? I remember when we last had mice, they sounded absolutely huge and I convinced myself we had rats up there. They are noisy little critters.

Hope you have a better day today xx

alwaysworried_2

Well DH went up the loft and couldn't see anything but he is going to keep an eye on it.
DS said he also heard a scratching but he thought it was coming from outside his window!
Will keep an eye on it anyway.

Pay day on Thursday. This will be my first month on my reduced wages because I had to reduce my hours. I'm getting £2 odds more than what I thought I would get (well I suppose every little helps).

Checked the bank balance tonight and nearly had a panic attack as I didn't think there would be enough of the overdraft left to cover the direct debits which come out tomorrow (council charge, gas and electric and the dreaded payment for the argos card). But there is enough left as long as there is nothing I have forgotten about which I don't think there is.
Sailing far to close to the wind with this overdraft.

When I was talking to my sister a the weekend, she was telling me not to bother about the overdraft and to concentrate on the other debts, but does anyone ever get the feeling if you see your bank balance in the black you feel a little bit better? I have heard of people rounding down their bank balance to the nearest £1 or £10 and leaving themselves an even balance, but I won't do that because I'm in the red.

Tomorrow when my argos payments taken i will change my signature. I have a feeling I will have a great satisfaction seeing the figure change even if it isn't much.

I won't be paying any overpayments before Christmas as I want to make sure I have enough money for the rest of the presents etc.

Away to catch up on some other diaries now.

StressedSteph

Morning AW,

On the subject of the OD, that is what I am battling to get rid of at the moment, although won't properly start until the new year as have 3-4 big extra bills to pay this month that are overdue .

I feel it is the most sensible thing to get out of the OD first. It is more than likely the largest interest charging debt we have, and it somehow feels wrong over-paying a debt by using a debt. If that makes sense.

With me maxed out on my OD (mortgage is not going to go through next week :eek:), we have no safety net or anything, its just waaaay to scary.

Lets do it together. How big is yours?. Mine is £3000 :mad:. Mine isn't going to get any better this month, but at least I can start fresh in January, with all the big overdue bills dealt with and then hopefully by the end of Jan I will start to see it coming down.

Might be worth investing in a couple of mouse traps for your attic. Just in case. They are much cheaper than poison and re-useable.

Hope you have a good cheap day today.
Speak to you soon
Steph

alwaysworried_2

Hi Steph

My overdraft is currently £1500.

Today I wasn't so good and actually told my husband if the mess Ive gotten into. I had to I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.

Naturally he is so angry, but I feel such a sense of relief although i still feel so bad and I keep crying. I had to tell him because I've been starving myself because I felt like I shouldnt be having anything and should be punished, and I still do feel like that. But today I took all the tablets I had in the house and was planning to take them all. I knew that wasn't going to solve anything and I would just be taking the cowardly way out and I couldn't do that to them, so I told him.

He told me to contact mortgage company to see if we could borrow money against our home. Currently our mortgage is for £48000 approx but our home is worth £250,000.

The mortgage company said affordability looked okay so they are calling back this afternoon to go through everything officially so I hope they say yes.

I'm dreading what he is going to be like over the next few days/weeks/months and I feel the atmosphere in the home is going to be terrible. I can't complain though I deserve everything I get.

StressedSteph

Aaaaw AW, I did'nt realise it was upsetting you so much. You must never think that over doseing is the only solution left. I do hope your OH isn't too hard on you. He can obviously see how distraught you are about it.

If the mortgage company will take on the debts, would it be worth asking your hubby to take control of the finances from now on?. That is what I plan to do as I have gotten us into debt again after sorting it out once, so I am obviousley not very good with money.

I know its silly, but I almost want to have to check with hubby first before I spend any money so that he can stop me buying silly things and overspending.

Hope you feel better now you have told him and good luck with mortgage company.

StressedSteph xx

alwaysworried_2

Hi Steph,

Didn't get the extension on our mortgage, they said affordability was the problem even though we have equity on our home.

I contacted the bank who we do our banking with RBS who agreed to give us a loan in principle, but after reading what this means, I can see that they can still refuse.

I thought with telling my husband I would feel better but now I don't. he's going on about selling the house and the cars. saying we will need to go bankrupt etc.

I just don't know what do.

StressedSteph

Oh !!!!!! AW. I must admit I am not enlightening my hubby to the extent of our debt as I know if I go careful we can beat it, without the total over-reaction and panic that I know he will do :mad:.

I must go back to your other thread, Did you post an SOA on there. Have you used the Snowball calculator to find out how long it will take you to get out of debt if you throw all your disposable cash at it.?

I guess you have the problem that I have, in that when I tell hubby he can't have something because we are broke, he gets annoyed because he does'nt feel like it was him that wracked up the debt, although he did benefit in lots of ways.
My only saving grace is that hubby does'nt ask for alot so its possible to keep it all under-wraps.

I really don't think it needs to be as over-the-top as selling up etc, think he is just still punishing you. I am sure he will calm down. Would you be able to get an evening job or something and say you will use all that to pay off the debt etc.

Is it worth posting your SOA on here again. xxx

Keep your chin up hun, the storm will pass soon. xxx