Am I right to be angry?

katie_saver

Yes I think I have to see it that way. Lesson learned.
I would have offered to at least buy a drink or coffee as a thank you gesture. It's not the money, it's the time and effort I oput into researching a nice cheap place to stay. Planning our day so that we could see as much of Paris as possible as it was her first time there...
And by the way, she is on about 10k more than me! So not exactly hard up...

Tropez

katie_saver wrote: »

And by the way, she is on about 10k more than me! So not exactly hard up...

Someone at work was on £100,000 more than me. He was made bankrupt a few months ago.

It's never a good idea to assume that because somebody earns more money they are automatically well off in comparison. I have a friend who is a sales director for a multinational corporation and another friend who has only ever worked part-time since leaving college for a much smaller company but my sales director friend is always skint at the end of the month, whereas my other friend is not.

Some people who earn more are far more adept at spending it. Some also make bad or unlucky decisions buying stocks and shares because their extra wealth allows them to employ financial advisors who tell them to do just that.

katie_saver

Fair enough about the salary comment Tropez. I was just pointing out that I wasn't trying to squeeze my friend for money and that she was really skint.
My point with this post is that it is rude not to show your appreciation to someone. I was brought up writing thank you notes and being thankful if people did things for me. Feel let down that she didn't that's all.

Wootball

Molehill, meet mountain.

jess1974

If i was your friend, and you'd treated me to first class travel to Paris, then the least i would have done is bought you lunch, drinks, coffee etc, i cannot believe some people think its ok to not do so, surely this is basic manners, my friend drove me 5 mins somewhere on saturday night, and i bought her drink to say thank you........

londonsurrey

I sympathise, and her quibbling about the 1.50 would really have put to rest any doubts about her attitude.

Personally, for me, it's all about the attitude. I have a friend who is deadly poor, can't afford heating even with poor health, etc. So if we ever go anywhere, I fully expect to pay for every penny. However, my friend is no scrounger - if she thinks it's her expense (shopping, etc, she firmly refuses even a penny towards it) and if there's ever any help or time she can offer, she drops everything, even to the detriment of herself sometimes.

Let's put it this way, your ex-housemate has just done herself out of that expenses paid trip to the Caribbean when you're looking for someone to take!

Mojisola

jess1974 wrote: »

i cannot believe some people think its ok to not do so, surely this is basic manners,

Agree but I think I'd be disappointed in the friend, rather than angry. She certainly wouldn't be top of the list if I had any other freebies going!

tyllwyd

I agree that buying you some kind of a treat as a thank you would have been a nice gesture, and I can understand why you feel disappointed, but your friend might be blissfully unaware that she's done anything wrong. What is she like normally - is she someone that rushes to the bar to get a round in, or does she naturally hang back and think that someone else will magically pay? My younger sister can be a bit like that, and I think it is more a habit from being the youngest in the family and expecting other people to look after her rather than anything deliberate.

Barneysmom

With friends like these huh.

I think she's a real miser and is on the take.
To be keeping tabs on someone for £1.50 is just wrong in any circumstance unless they're really on their uppers which doesn't sound tru in her case.

I'd give it the boot tbh.

JimmyTheWig

Everyone seems hard up at the moment.
Everyone always seems to struggle for money at Christmas time.
So the chances are, whether on a decent wage or not, the cost of this "free" trip was more than she could comfortably afford. There may even be a little resentment there, given it was you who "made" her go on the trip and spend that money.
Maybe it wasn't clear how much the whole thing would cost when you first asked her (not blaming you, OP, just that she might not have thought about it).
She might have felt that if she said "no" then you wouldn't have anyone else to ask and you wouldn't want to go on your own and so (a) she felt she "had" to go and (b) she was helping you out by going as much as you were helping her out by asking her.

In which case, why should she buy you a drink?
Why shouldn't you pay for your own breakfast?

But yes, asking for €1.50 is tight. Suggests she is either particularly hard up or feels hard done by for some reason.