Here I am in debt again. 2nd time lucky

lurvlyloz

Steph its definately good to have someone to talk to. i know you can talk here but if you are trying to put on a front 'in real life' then you could crack quite easily. i'm pelased you have someone to off load to. and just think how much money people propbably thought you had as never said know...the other friend are probably in lorry loads of debt too x

StressedSteph

lurvlyloz wrote: »

Steph its definately good to have someone to talk to. i know you can talk here but if you are trying to put on a front 'in real life' then you could crack quite easily. i'm pelased you have someone to off load to. and just think how much money people propbably thought you had as never said know...the other friend are probably in lorry loads of debt too x

Hi LL

Thanks for popping in.
Yes I do sometimes wonder if the people who appear to be rich, really are.??
I am tired of pretending to fit in with most of the people in my village. I have been so scared of not being accepted that you try to keep up with The Jones's.
Now I just feel like, they can either accept me as I am or forget it. :D.

laineygirl

Hi Steph hold that thought 'accept me as I am or forget it'.
Who needs to be always on your guard knowing that certain things are off limits with some people.
As I've said before it may all be a pretense and they are in as much debt as you but still on the merry go round and haven't, like us on here, faced up to it and are trying to sort it. If they are a temptation don't go to where you'll see them and if you do see them and they come up with money spending schemes agreed whole heartedly to do it and then do the 'Oh no...Sorry... I cant I'm already doing....... on that day . Another time.' leave it at that.
In 2 years time, all being well, you'll be clear and they will probably be still struggling still not have had a LBM. Nobody knows how others live and function. Just think how smug you'll feel and how much advice you'll have.
Good luck with the lambs we had 8 pups that we hand reared when their mother was ill and then couldn't feed them. Its bl...y hard work but so wonderful when they all survive.

StressedSteph

Morning Diary,

Updated spreadsheet this morning. Everything is getting paid and under control, but I am really frustrated with the overdraft.

It is quite hard to throw all your money at the debts and also try to get out of the OD.

It does'nt even look like it will have compeltely gone by the end of the year .

Not sure what to do about it. I have had a go at applying for a low-interest for 5 years credit card.

I think that as I am in control of the bank account now and really enjoying not worrying about missing payments etc, it might be worth trying to get the OD into a credit card.
Then I can lower the OD down to a sensible amount, maybe £500.

I am currently paying around £130 per month for the pleasure of the OD, so that would probably pay for the credit card payments per month until I can start making overpayments.

I hope this is a sensible thing to do, I more than likely won't get accepted for the card. The MSE checker said I had a 70% chance, so fingers crossed.

If I am being stupid creating another card, please say people.
I just desperately wanted to get out of the OD and saw no other way.

fern44

Hi has he bought the gun yet ? could you borrow the money he has put aside for that and then pay him back

StressedSteph

laineygirl wrote: »

Hi Steph hold that thought 'accept me as I am or forget it'.
Who needs to be always on your guard knowing that certain things are off limits with some people.
As I've said before it may all be a pretense and they are in as much debt as you but still on the merry go round and haven't, like us on here, faced up to it and are trying to sort it. If they are a temptation don't go to where you'll see them and if you do see them and they come up with money spending schemes agreed whole heartedly to do it and then do the 'Oh no...Sorry... I cant I'm already doing....... on that day . Another time.' leave it at that.
In 2 years time, all being well, you'll be clear and they will probably be still struggling still not have had a LBM. Nobody knows how others live and function. Just think how smug you'll feel and how much advice you'll have.
Good luck with the lambs we had 8 pups that we hand reared when their mother was ill and then couldn't feed them. Its bl...y hard work but so wonderful when they all survive.

Thanks LaineyGirl,

Yes I try to make myself feel better hoping they are in debt as well but not yet had their LBM .

I don't see them too much, it seems to have fits and starts. Will definately try to avoid them abit this year. At least giv my finances chance to start looking better.

StressedSteph

fern44 wrote: »

Hi has he bought the gun yet ? could you borrow the money he has put aside for that and then pay him back

Hi Fern

I have more chance of hell freezing over than getting hold of that money.
He currently has £718 saved and has approx £350 worth of extra work due to come in. He claims that the combined amount of £1068 will be enough :eek:. Damn right it will. Of course he has found a gun for £800 but HAS to have x,y & z to go with it :mad:.

I can feel a new arguement coming up when after he has bought his gun, his desire to do extra jobs vanishes :mad:.
He is normally quite reluctant to work evenings or Saturdays on odd jobs, but not surpisingly, as soon as I told him that he could save up the money from his odd jobs to pay for the gun, he got quite enthusiastic!.
I told him the other night that after he has his gun, I would really appreciate him still doing the odd jobs as it REALLY helps us in our debt struggle. .

We will see.........

mummybearx

How much does the overdraft cost each month?
What is the interest on the card? You said it's low interest for 5 years, how low? And based on the amount you would need to transfer onto the card, including the transfer fee, what is the monthly cost and payments?

I don't think it's a bad idea, providing that it's helping you save a bit of money. Don't do it just cos you want rid of the overdraft

please-let-me-be-lucky

StressedSteph wrote: »

He currently has £718 saved and has approx £350 worth of extra work due to come in. He claims that the combined amount of £1068 will be enough :eek:. Damn right it will. Of course he has found a gun for £800 but HAS to have x,y & z to go with it :mad:..

Oh dear, I know that situation well Hopefully there will still be some left over at the end which he will give to you. In the meantime, perhaps you can get cashback on the bits he buys and neglect to tell him?!

I agree with what has been said about interest on overdraft. No use moving it to a credit card if it will cost money (remember to factor in the balance transfer fee as well as interest), but if it's cheaper then go for it. Sometimes the psychology of it is enough to make it worthwhile all on it's own Xx

laineygirl

Hi
The credit card transfers worked for us. I got 2, 0% for 24 months.Worked it out that repayment wise we would be better off per month plus we will have paid it all off in approx 21 months.The 3 other months payments.(in theory) will be thrown at the overdraft which we are doing 1st with just the minimum going to the cards. This and any other 'spare money' (is there such a thing) will considerably reduce it and by sticking to the budget in 24 months (sounds less somehow than 2 years) we should be clear.
Husband wise if the extra work suddenly dries up because he's got his toy and he's not prepared to do extra to help then cut his food /drinks rations, say you're tightening your belt because everything is sooo expensive and has gone up tremendously. Say no to everything when he asks for anything that involves you finding the money, smile and sweetly say 'we just haven't got it' and for anything he wants that involves money tell him he has to find it himself and if he can find extra then it would help you at the moment as you have you have one or two pressing things that need clearing. School trips, uniforms/clothes extra fuel (its been a bad winter and things have just run away). You'd be happy with 50/50.
You are sorting things out so that in a couple of years you will be able to do all the things he wants to and more but.....
You've got better things to spend your money on than providing him with playtime. Do you get extra for what you want to do? Do you agonize about when you should have your hair cut etc? Has that become a necessity and something else put on the later pile?. Once every 6 weeks is not a lot to ask. You need 'ME TIME' and a little bit of money to enjoy it. Just to have time out and do or have what you want for a change. Try his tack when you want something go to him and ask him for the money, as he seems to be able to find it for what he wants. Do it sweetly and point out that he had/did..........
If he complains tell him you're the one whose keeping the wolf (bailiff, creditors etc.) from the door and if he can do it better then you'd be glad to have the weight taken from your shoulders.Be prepared to hand over the paper work and ask him if he can see where 'his' money is to be taken from and show him how/what you're doing to clear it all. He'd run a mile before he took that on. He'd huff and puff but you'd still be the one who'd be doing it.
It's supposed to be a partnership but don't you find that you've suddenly become the senior financial partner? You keep it all running as smoothly as you can, you've got all the juggling, all the worry but I bet you don't feel appreciated for doing it all. I know appreciation is not the right word.... but saying good on you well done might some days make us feel a dam sight better.
After all 'I'm the one who spent the money' is the guilt trip we've put ourselves on. Yes we did, but it wasn't just for ourselves. We did it for everyone in the family's benefit.
I think I've just had a RANT and I feel a lot better for it.We've all been here done that and got the t-shirt. But why do we have to wear the T-shirt for such a long time......