Parents helping Aunt can they claim expenses etc

alocacoc

hi well look into the power of attorney part as this is obv a serious matter and long lost relatives are already suddenly appearing magically

SandraScarlett

What a nightmare situation for your parents. Unfortunately, it's fine for others to talk about being a Good Samaritan, without needing reimbursement, but with the cost of fuel nowadays, it isn't always a cheap option.

Also, not every elderly (or young) person keeps all their paperwork in apple-pie order, and trying to sort this out can be horrendous. How are the fees for the care home being paid? Has your aunt been well enough to set up a standing order?

If your parents don't have cash to spare, then they should be reimbursed for their costs. Is your aunt able to sign a cheque if your parents prepared it?

If so, then I'd suggest they get a notebook, write down how much she gave them a cheque for, and then list their expenditure, ensuring they had receipts, which they could put in separately marked envelopes for each week or month, then anybody who queried this would have a paper trail.

When they have these all-day trips, do they have to take Grandad with, or do they arrange care for him, and do they have to pay for that?

I wish you and your family well.

xx

Errata

A difficulty arises if the aunt doesn't have capacity. If the aunt is to remain in a care home Social Services will need to undertake a financial assessment to identify who will pay the fees.
If amounts of money are being withdrawn from the aunt's bank account, and she doesn't have capacity, SS will be asking some very pointed questions about how the money was withdrawn and by whom.

missapril75

Mojisola wrote: »

If the option was to take some money for expenses or stop helping the relative, I would.

Particularly as there was a reference to buying things she needed. Seems reasonable for that to include the costs of attending to the affairs involving the belongings at the former home.

So long as "reasonable" of course.

troubleinparadise

Dear Alocacoc,

It is good of your parents to help out the Aunt, but they must be careful to keep their activities above board and transparent. As has been said, keep receipts of things bought, and money spent. Perhaps keeping a diary to record when they visit the property and what they do might help back-up any activities they should be re-imbursed for. Ditto keeping a record of what they do with her belongings if they are emptying the place. All activities should be carried out "with her best interests" at heart.

There must also be utility bills needing sorting for the Aunt's property?

The truth is that helping out in this way, however altruistic and genuinely caring the motives, takes a greater toll than those on the outside realise. It isn't only the physical time sorting a property, it is the worry and personal time that goes with making calls, sorting out other help, GPs, appointments, social services etc etc. None of which get "paid" for - and I'm not suggesting it should be, but the circling "long lost relatives" will no doubt have views and opinions on motives.... usually without doing anything themselves. A sadly often repeated story.... :eek:

SandraScarlett

troubleinparadise wrote: »

Dear Alocacoc,

It is good of your parents to help out the Aunt, but they must be careful to keep their activities above board and transparent. As has been said, keep receipts of things bought, and money spent. Perhaps keeping a diary to record when they visit the property and what they do might help back-up any activities they should be re-imbursed for. Ditto keeping a record of what they do with her belongings if they are emptying the place. All activities should be carried out "with her best interests" at heart.

There must also be utility bills needing sorting for the Aunt's property?

The truth is that helping out in this way, however altruistic and genuinely caring the motives, takes a greater toll than those on the outside realise. It isn't only the physical time sorting a property, it is the worry and personal time that goes with making calls, sorting out other help, GPs, appointments, social services etc etc. None of which get "paid" for - and I'm not suggesting it should be, but the circling "long lost relatives" will no doubt have views and opinions on motives.... usually without doing anything themselves. A sadly often repeated story.... :eek:

Alas, so true. About 40 years ago, the wife of my elderly childless neighbours was taken to hospital, and the husband whisked away to stay with relatives, who hadn't been near them for decades. The wife died the next day, and knowing the bathroom had been left "in a mess", I went in to clean before he returned. Fortunately I took another neighbour in with me.

The husband never returned home, because the niece convinced him "he should stay here with his family". Fast forward after the funeral, and I was accused by the niece of taking Auntie's engagement ring and told I wasn't to visit Uncle any more. The following month, the old chap realised his wife's belongings had been sent home from the hospital in a plastic bag, and lo and behold, there was his wife's ring.

Did I get an apology from the niece? Of course not! Unfortunately, some people are so greedy that they tar everyone else with their own nasty ways, so yes, it is vital your parents keep notes and receipts. It may be a pain in the Harris, but that way they can't be unfairly accused of anything.

xx