Stay at home mum ?

Lillibet_2

trigger2 wrote: »

I'm really feeling like I want to be a stay at home mum instead but feel guilty about spending money without contributing anything to it.

Instead of thinking you are spending money instead of earning it, try thinking you are saving money by cost-cutting at home, so one of you earns & the other saves;) Of course,this doesn't work if you are regulary going out on full price high street spending sprees, but if you are savign on childcare costs, savign by cooking more at home, finding free activites to do with the kids &/or your partner adn researching all your necessary purchases thoroughly to ge tteh best deal then you are truly saving!

HTH;)

seven-day-weekend

alwaysskint96 wrote: »

That may be true when they are toddlers- I certainly wouldnt state that for older children and teens.
Kids hate to be missing out on the things that the others can do because there is not enough money

I know a 12 year old- really good friend of my daughter's and she is always complaining that her parents cannnot afford school trishes her Mumn would get a job so they had more money- BTW she is the youngest of 2 and tyhe Mum hasnt worked since her 15 year old brother was born

I don't agree with that - many teens still like their parents around (and actually, they need supervision just as much as youngsters - just a different type). I loved my mum being at home and I know my son liked me only being half an hour behind him (I was a lollipop lady for years and didn't go back to full-time work until he was 15).

The 12-year-old you mention just seems like an acquisitive lirttle madam - my son never cared about things like that at all -still doesn't now he's 27.

Either that or she's just practising to be a teenager.:rotfl:

trigger2

seems I've stirred up a bit of a hornets nest ?! I got told by DS school yesterday that they have an assistant job going, 1 hour per day, 5 days a week. I worked out that I'll come out with only marginally less than I do now ! I've applied for it & told my work as I feel I should (other people have left under a cloud & caused atmospheres), but tbh my work said "oh, if its the hours I'm sure we'll see what we can do", I know they mean well but I know I can only change my hours if someone else leaves & even then I'll still have to organise someone (or school club) to take them to school. DD is P3 & DS starts P1 in the summer, so I said then I would only do a maximum of 2 mornings. I'm waiting to hear from the school about an interview (I assume I'll get one as I already do voluntary work there & they know me), but my boss says my appraisal's coming up & we'll talk hours then :mad: I'm so confused, I like where I am just now, but a foot into the door at school would be great, more security than where I am, more future propects, more money .....

Rachie_B

trigger2 wrote: »

seems I've stirred up a bit of a hornets nest ?! I got told by DS school yesterday that they have an assistant job going, 1 hour per day, 5 days a week. I worked out that I'll come out with only marginally less than I do now ! I've applied for it & told my work as I feel I should (other people have left under a cloud & caused atmospheres), but tbh my work said "oh, if its the hours I'm sure we'll see what we can do", I know they mean well but I know I can only change my hours if someone else leaves & even then I'll still have to organise someone (or school club) to take them to school. DD is P3 & DS starts P1 in the summer, so I said then I would only do a maximum of 2 mornings. I'm waiting to hear from the school about an interview (I assume I'll get one as I already do voluntary work there & they know me), but my boss says my appraisal's coming up & we'll talk hours then :mad: I'm so confused, I like where I am just now, but a foot into the door at school would be great, more security than where I am, more future propects, more money .....

go for it :beer:

the fact that your boss wants you to stay, means you are good at your job and they will lose a good member of staff but dont let that make you stay

be selfish and do what YOU feel is right

leftieM

M20DAL wrote: »

I think if you are going to have a baby you one parent should stay at home(mum or dad) at least until the child starts school to give them a good start in life

Do you really want to miss the first words/steps do you want them calling someone else mummy/daddy first dont say it doesnt happen ive seen it so many times and it s so sad

if your career means more to you than a baby dont have one



if people didnt get themselves in so much debt in the first place they could manage

dont get me wrong im not against women working at all but just put it on hold for the first 4 years being a mum is much harder than going to work from 9-5 and coming home seeing the baby for an hour and putting them to bed

friends of ours both work and have a four year old not at school yet they go to work about 7am home at 6pm grandparents take him to play school and everything else they earn about £70'000 a year between them and like telling everyone at the weekend they let there child stay over at the granparents most of the time so they can spend time together they say he like it of course he does hes allways there

soory a bit of waffling it just annoys me when people have children and dont care about them

Taking four years out makes a serious dent in a woman's career and earning potential. It shouldn't but it does. Because we, as a society, value status we don't value those who aren't in paid employment. It's tough being one of the unvalued - no matter how resiliant your self image is you will lose confidence. Also it can be hard financially in ways you don't expect. Child Tax Credits are weighted towards helping the working parent using childcare over the full time parent. So you could find that, not only do you lose your salary when you stop working, you lose some of your benefits too.
I think you have to walk in someone else's shoes before you can make a judgement on them and as you can never do that it is best not to make any judgements.

LizD_2

You don't have to have a degree-level education to do AQA: I do it and I only have GCSEs. It's more about whether you can construct coherent answers within the character and time limits.

Spendless

leftieM wrote: »

Taking four years out makes a serious dent in a woman's career and earning potential. It shouldn't but it does. Because we, as a society, value status we don't value those who aren't in paid employment.

I agree, and the 4 years out is assumming you only have one child or get a multiple birth. 2 children and a 3 year gap means by the time the youngest goes to f-time school, I'll have been out of the type of job I used to do for the past 7.5 years, and in the meantime technology has advanced. I've had to take steps for the past 2 years to remedy this situation and to do this the youngest has had to go to a creche, then to full time nursery 3 days a week and now even at state nursery she has to have 2 different people pick her up twice a week so I can continue.

victoriaplum1

I am basically a SAHM but I have a pt job (2 sats a month in a library) - I dont earn much about £75 a month but I love the job and its nice to have a bit of time to myself doing something that is earning some money albeit not much - I dont have to pay for childcare cos other half usually home on Sat. I gave up my previous job in the civil service basically cos I found it hard to be organised enough to do both and I didnt feel quite right leaving my son at home (even with my mum) and going off to work for 21 hours a week (which is what I got my job down too) - what I will say is that the civil service is quite a good option if you have kids cos they have flexi time the money is pretty good they are open to job shares and often have a creche on site (they did at my place anyway) though it wasn't cheap it was subsidised.

Fizog

I would say a job in a school is your best bet. You get the holidays and work the school hours...perfect solution. I worked weekend hours when my were small because we really needed the money. It is a very sensitive area for mums who have to work I'm sure they would love not to have to work a full week especially in London. I feel for the women I see trudging along the road at 7pm outside supermarkets having picked up kids from childminders and then gone on to shop before cooking...

AnnieH

I was a SAHM when my girls were small, and I remember looking forward to the day when DD2 was ins chool so I could get a part-time job whil they were out.

Then I had BabyH:rolleyes: who I adore but I have had enough of being at home looking at the same 4 walls 24/7. So I decided to get myself a little job (much to MrH's objection at the time) I am now a dinner lady in a local school. It's 2.5 hours a day (term time only) and BabyH goes to a childminder which takes up all but about £10 of my wages each month. (except in the holidays when I still get paid, but have less CM fees)
MrH hated that idea at first, but I stuck to my guns, and now it works out really well. BabyH is very happy at the CM and has some friends his own age. He'll be starting pre-school in Jan and the school in a couple of years so I will get my wages all to myself then :j
But my point is we are all a lot happier with me being out at work. The igrls like it too, they don't miss me cos they're in school, but I sometimes bring nice puddings home:)