Stay at home mum ?

M20DAL

Im a father so another point of view

I dont understand why people have children and palm them of to someone else ie childminder/grandparents
My wife stays at home with our daughter because she wants to see her grow up we dont earn much but we are much happier than friend who earn loads and palm there kids off

just remember you never get these years back

Dont have children untill you are ready to give them 100 percent they dont care about money they just want your love

they are the most important things in your life and dont forget that

leftieM

Being at home with young children is exhausting and it's a financial strain if your partner isn't a big earner. I don't blame anyone for wanting to work if they enjoy it or even just because it means they can have holidays or a decent house. It doesn't mean they love their children less.
The bit I object to is one lot looking down at the other lot, whether it's martyred sahms or working mothers who feel they're somehow advancing the feminist cause. Your choice of whether to be at home with your kids or to pursue a career shouldn't be a political issue. Ultimately it should be what makes the mother happy.

Broken_hearted

With my eldest I worked more than full time hours so saw very little of him this was my choice as I wanted to build a career. With my youngest I'm a full time stay at home mum not my choice. I missed out on a few things with my oldest and am lonely at home with the youngest.
For me your situation sounds perfect part time work give you the best of both worlds.

trigger2

Oh thank you everyone for your replies ! I didn't think I'd get such a lot. Emmy - whats AQA that you do ? I had considered childminding & had tried it last year for only a couple of weeks (as a favour for someone) but I have to say I didn't particularly enjoy it ! I felt me home wasn't my own & it was strange dealing with another child in my childrens home eg discipline, what to expect of them etc. I may look into that again as I suppose if I didn't get on with one child, I could say it wasn't working ? I went to work this afternoon & there's a bit of a fraught situation where because of a health & safety situation we have to work longer hours just now, I said that I couldn't cos I have to pick the kids up & felt rotten having to justify myself. TBH the money I make goes on household food, not luxuries & we are fairly OS, & don't have alot of areas where we can cut back. My job is only part time & does let me have the school holidays off, so I know it's a good job that many would bite their hand off for. It's a bit of a dilema, I know what I'd like to do (stay at home) but it's such a big thing walking out on a job & a wage

alwaysonthego_2

http://www.aqa.issuebits.com/

you get paid for researching answers but you do need a degree or simular qualification.

trigger2

aha, no I dont have a degree, i have HNC Business Admin, Adv Cert Counselling Theory, SVQ 3 Customer service (similar to HNC level), & about to finish SVQ 2 Child care. Just spoken to hubby about the meeting at work & his response was "well that'll help make up your mind !". I think i just need reassurance that we will manage without my wages. I am fairly OS & cook alot from scratch, don;t buy many ready meals, don;t go out alot, dont smoke, hardly drink, buy clothes from asda (or dorothy perkins if I'm flush !), don't consider myself high maintenance in regard to beauty & haircuts. Jeez - I've just reread that bit - I sound fun eh ?! anyway, I can get our weekly shop to £40 per week for 4 of us & 1 dog (DD has school lunches which she enjoys & eats well so I don't mind). I may look into the childminding again .....

Spendless

trigger2 wrote: »

My job is only part time & does let me have the school holidays off, so I know it's a good job that many would bite their hand off for. It's a bit of a dilema, I know what I'd like to do (stay at home) but it's such a big thing walking out on a job & a wage

Your opening post says you feel guilty about the children going to childcare. Do your children like/dislike the childcare they go to? I'm assumming it's only so many times a week term-time with you having the holidays off.

Spendless

what about treating the time like we suggest people do when they are thinking of having a baby, live on your OH wages for the next few months to see if you can manage without yours.

bobsa1

Your situation rings a lot of bells with me OP. I have 3 children and work part time. I always feel guilty when they have to go to late stay etc.

On the plus side you get holidays off, something most mum's dream of. On the down side you obviously very unhappy.

As you need the money and to be honest you don't need to earn a lot (given the figures you used) what about Virgin Vie or something like that.

A collegue at work makes a lot of money by doing just a few parties a month.

I can't give up at the mo as I earn quite a good salary, DH is self employed and hence we need security of a regular wage.

Best of look with your decision, but if money is the only thing stopping you giving up I'm sure you will find a way.

trigger2

i like the idea of trying to manage without mine, hadn't thought of doing that !
Re the childcare, they're ok most of the time but still have a few times when say " i dont want to go to ..., I want you to pick me up not ..... ". I'm sure sometimes it's just to press the buttons, but those buttons work !