Help needed

Lesoot

I have 3 children with my ex wife. they all live in Bristol and i live in Aberdare.

The ages of my children are 11,9 and 6.

My problem is, they have all expressed the desire to move in with me. I am clueless as to the law and what can be done about this.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

Rob

fluffnutter

I take it your ex knows nothing about this. In simple terms, you'd have to apply for a residency order. Appointing a solicitor au fait with family law would probably be wise.

Courts can, and do, take into account children's wishes but it's rarely as straightforward as 'I want to live with my dad' 'OK then'. If your ex wants to continue having her children live with her, then you'd have to demonstrate that this wasn't in the children's interests. Is that the case?

Racheldevon

Hi,
Your first port of call is to contact a solictor specialising in family law, to discuss your particular situation and the possible ways forward, good luck

podperson

As mentioned above you would need to get a solicitor and it would probably need to go to court. I'm assuming that your ex isn't just going to agree and wants the children to stay with her? Is there any particular reason why the children would be better off with you - while a court will take their wishes into account it won't automatically mean they will be agreed with. The children will be settled, in routines, in schools etc where they are - do you think it's in their best interests to uproot them?

Do they genuinely not want to live with their mother - or was it said either when they might have been having an argument, or because they see staying with you as 'more fun'. I've seen it happen a few times where the NRP sees the kids at weekend, they take them out, buy them things, do fun activities - and the kids see being there as much more fun then their home routine of school, homework, being told to go to bed on time etc. I'm not saying this is necessarily you, OP, but there will be a lot more things considered then the children simply expressing a wish to live with you.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Have you thought about having shared care? obviously they have to be in Bristol for school during the week but they could be with you week-end and school holidays. OK, it's not 50/50 care but you'd be getting about a third.

Who was the childrens primary carer when you were married?

Have you asked your ex-wife whether they can live with you? She might say yes.

Lesoot

basically, she is a horrible mother, the children have told me that they have been dragged through the house by their hair, just because they didnt want to get in the shower.

My youngest had carpet burns from it. The way she talks to them is disgusting also.

victory

Lesoot wrote: »

basically, she is a horrible mother, the children have told me that they have been dragged through the house by their hair, just because they didnt want to get in the shower.

My youngest had carpet burns from it. The way she talks to them is disgusting also.

Wow the second you knew that you should have taken the kids and run, laws or no laws

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Lesoot wrote: »

basically, she is a horrible mother, the children have told me that they have been dragged through the house by their hair, just because they didnt want to get in the shower.

My youngest had carpet burns from it. The way she talks to them is disgusting also.

Presumably you saw the carpet burns then? Did you photograph the injuries? Inform the police/school/social services.

Courts don't simply take children away from one parent and hand them over to another. It is an extremely long drawn out process before you get to that stage and THEY WILL ASK FOR EVIDENCE.

Having said that, I think that on their next visit to you you can keep them and not hand them back. If you enroll them in a local school quickly so much the better.

You still don't say who the primary carer was? Was your wife always like this?

daska

If you know something is wrong and don't do anything the first question SS/CAFCASS will ask is "why". If there is abuse going on then go and see a solicitor to check exactly where you stand and then take appropriate action.

podperson

If you think your wife is physically harming your children then why on earth are they still living with her. I presume you saw the carpet burns on your youngest - if that was me then they wouldn't have gone back!! Does she have court-appointed residency? As if not than I'm fairly sure you can simply take them and no laws are broken, and then it would need to go to court if she wanted them back. As mentioned many time already though you should be seeing a solicitor as soon as possible - and probably reporting it to social services as well.

RockPaperScissors

I can't post links as a newbie but if you Google "legal rights for fathers in the uk" there is a site called dad . info which has a lot of advice about the new laws surround paternal rights. Fathers are now supposed to have the same rights. Looking at the gov.uk pages should also be useful to you.