just after opinions and a moan! am i being unfair being annoyed at husband?

loulou123

Thanks everyone for the varying answers. I'm over it now, was just annoyed this morning...

I actually wore ear plugs so hearings fine! Concert was great too.

If I hadn't been with husband I wouldn't have expected my mates to be concerned as we've been going to concerts together for over 10 years (went to reading for 1st time at 16) but the crowd was seriously rough, so I guess I just thought my husband (as he is my husband) would be little concerned for me! The fact his friend was so concerned (and he goes to these gigs almost weekly) shows how rough the crowd was, but really think hubby just didn't realise how bad it'd got.

Think I'll leave hubby at home in future and stick to going with my mates as that method has worked for years!

System

Unfortunately my husband would have had to come with me cause i'd never have found my own way back to him otherwise.

Idiophreak

loulou123 wrote: »

LOL it was the latter...if we get separated we'll meet at the bar, so yes he would've properly come their to find me at the end or when his pint ran out!

Hang on...he had a pint!? The crowd can't have been that rough, then? Lord knows, the moshpits I was in as a lad, if you had a pint when you went in, you wouldn't have it thirty seconds later...

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think you're over-reacting. If you're too scared to go to rough gigs without your other half having to look after you (and therefore miss out on actually watching), then don't go.

I think this is actually quite a good point, in a way. I can easily imagine another thread on this board. "I'm fed up of not being able to take my wife out with me without her being the sole focus of my attention..I just want to watch the band and spend time with my mates, but I find myself having to go and look after her the whole time..."

loulou123

Idiophreak wrote: »

Hang on...he had a pint!? The crowd can't have been that rough, then? Lord knows, the moshpits I was in as a lad, if you had a pint when you went in, you wouldn't have it thirty seconds later...



I think this is actually quite a good point, in a way. I can easily imagine another thread on this board. "I'm fed up of not being able to take my wife out with me without her being the sole focus of my attention..I just want to watch the band and spend time with my mates, but I find myself having to go and look after her the whole time..."

Hubby wasn't in the pits - he's only recently got into this kind of music, whereas I've been a metal fan for years, but I had to get through/around the pits to get back to him. I agree you'd never hold on to a pint in the pit for long!

I can see exactly where your coming from with 2nd part of your post in a way, though it was his mates giving him hassle for NOT coming to look for me! And my mates always keep an eye out for me at gigs (im don't expect them to but they are mainly males and I think they feel its there "duty") so guess myself and hubbys friends expected a similar thing from him.

Sambucus_Nigra

loulou123 wrote: »

Think I'll leave hubby at home in future and stick to going with my mates as that method has worked for years!

I really don't see your logic. The method of taking your husband worked fine, you say yourself you have been going to gigs for years and so he would have expected you to be able to go to the loo by yourself. And lo and behold, you met up when you were able to and everything worked out well.

Are you seriously saying that if you go to a rough gig again and make your way to the bar you expect your hubby to spend all the gig wandering round looking for you? And why is it him that has to text you? You could have just texted - 'I'm at the bar, will stop here til it calms down' - problem solved.

BugglyB

No, you are a grown woman, and you were at a gig not in a crocodile infested swamp.

Be grateful your husband sees you as a competent adult and not an infant princess who needs protecting.

If someone is lost in a crowd of thousands it doesnt make sense to 'go and look for them'. Conventional wisdom would suggest you stay in the place you left them, enjoy the music you came to see, and wait for them to work their way back to you.

motherofstudents

How long have you been married ? If it's less than a month, then yeah,definitely right to be annoyed. Anything longer.....ha ha forget it.

Really, life's too short to get annoyed about the small stuff.

loulou123

motherofstudents wrote: »

How long have you been married ? If it's less than a month, then yeah,definitely right to be annoyed. Anything longer.....ha ha forget it.

Really, life's too short to get annoyed about the small stuff.

Been married 11 months lol.

Your quite right life is to short and after a good nights sleep I'm 100% over it, think if it'd just been me and hubby wouldn't even have given it 2nd thought. Was only because his friend was looking out for me all night (looking for me, kept asking if I was ok - if I wanted to go further back etc) that it made me question why he was looking out for me and husband wasn't.

jellyhead

Maybe the friend has more experience of taking short people/sisters/etc. to gigs and is used to taking care of them, or maybe he's not been to many gigs himself and he thought the crowd was too rough for him.

tbh I do find it a bit odd that your husband knew his friend was going to look for you and didn't say he'd do it instead. I don't know if my husband would come looking for me (probably not if we'd agreed a meet-up point afterwards), but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't allow a friend to come looking while he stayed to watch the band, that's quite rude towards the friend.

Idiophreak

jellyhead wrote: »

Maybe the friend has more experience of taking short people/sisters/etc. to gigs and is used to taking care of them, or maybe he's not been to many gigs himself and he thought the crowd was too rough for him.

tbh I do find it a bit odd that your husband knew his friend was going to look for you and didn't say he'd do it instead. I don't know if my husband would come looking for me (probably not if we'd agreed a meet-up point afterwards), but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't allow a friend to come looking while he stayed to watch the band, that's quite rude towards the friend.

It's not really rude though, is it...

If the mate says "should we go look for your wife?" and you say "nah, she'll be around somewhere" and then the friend insists on going to look...it's not really you being rude if you don't drop what you're doing and go and look just because your friend says you should...