just after opinions and a moan! am i being unfair being annoyed at husband?

luxor4t

I'd get annoyed too, but then I expect my DH to care more about me than a band, no matter how loud.
"Married" is a legal commitment that works both ways.

Sambucus_Nigra

And you did look after yourself - so your hubby was right.

Mountain > Molehill.

nickyhutch

We're going to Glastonbury in June and are unlikely to see each other for most of the time as we'll choose different bands to go to watch.

I think you're over-reacting. If you're too scared to go to rough gigs without your other half having to look after you (and therefore miss out on actually watching), then don't go.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

With a Thrash Band, I'd be more concerned about the damage done to my hearing than whether I had the same person clinging to me and not enjoying it all the time.

Earplugs are essential, but the sheer noise from the [strike]singers[/strike] screamers seems to cut straight through!


I'd have got myself caught at the back by the bar for the entire time. Or even better, the bar downstairs Out of earshot :whistle:




It's the best thing to do, stay where you are and if the others make their way back, well and good. If not, well, he knew where to find you.



(I'm usually the person at the front of gigs whilst someone else wanders off. I do not go looking for them like a lost eight year old. They're big enough to look after themselves and odds are, the bar is where they'll be if they got waylaid between me and the bogs.)


Oh, and most thrash fans may be all macho - but then they see a female and protect her like a china doll. You would probably have been fine weaving your way back as well.

miss_independent

45 minutes is a long time to be stood on your own in a rough crowd feeling vulnerable, heck 20 minutes seems like forever in that kind of situation. I'd be feeling a bit hurt and neglected, like he didn't really care about my safety.

I've seen a similar situation with a friend where her fianc! really didn't seem to bother about her at all, never text her to see where she was if she had a late night (and was hours later than she should have been getting home) and just lots of instances where he showed little care or concern for her when she was pregnant and also throughout their time together, which given she has a serious health condition she could, in the past, have literally dropped dead in the street was pretty odd to me. Yet, when we went out as a group and he, for once, agreed to come, a man tried to chat her up in a pretty sleazy way he went absolutely Mental at him and said "how dare you talk to my Missus like that! Back off mate." She later said it was the first time in years she felt he actually had an ounce of care for her.

I dunno...I see alot of people seem to think that as nothing happened to you, you shouldn't be upset but that isn't really the point is it? TBH, I'd have to say something to him, not in an argumentative way...just to make him see it was kind of a big deal in my world lol! I'd gently say, "I felt a little hurt when you didn't try and look for me or text me to see if I was ok the other night. I did try to explain that I was a bit worried about the crowds beforehand and then I found myself in a situation I was kind of dreading with people getting rowdy and me not being able to get back to you. I noticed x tried to find me, he was worried about me, but I would have appreciated it more if you, as my husband, had been the one who wanted to make sure I was ok. Obviously, luckily, nothing had happened to me but I did feel uncomfortable for that 45 minutes and I would have felt a bit more reassured had I been with you." and then I'd just leave it at that, no sulking, give it no more thought, just drop it.

meritaten

I rather think that your OH knows you well enough to know that you are intelligent enough to stay out of harms way!
No consolation I know! lol, my reaction would be the same! you are thinking 'Thats all very well, but............'!
give him hell for today - then forget it and laff about it in years to come!

miss_independent

Just re-read my post......since when is f i a n c e

A dirty word?!

eamon

So the burning question is
Was the gig any good?

jellyhead

If you're feeling vulnerable in a crowd go and stand at the back next to security.

I'm short (and need the loo partway through!) so I get lost at pretty much every gig, but the danger of anything serious happening is quite slim.

I've been ill once with asthma when I was taking my inhaler and it was knocked out of my hand with no chance of me finding it again - so I go to the back if I need to take it now. I wouldn't expect anyone to text me in case they lost their phone - we just agree on a place to meet up at the end if we get lost.

I give this advice to my teenager when he goes to gigs too. It can seem quite scary if you're short and getting battered about in a crowd but you can usually get to the back. I thought my baby brother had broken his arm once when he went to the front at a gig, but it was just bruised. He was only 15 so my mum would have gone mad. But I let mine go to gigs at age 15 and I don't go in with him unless he goes to see Depeche Mode in which case I'm going whether he wants me to or not

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

eamon wrote: »

So the burning question is
Was the gig any good?

It was Thrash.

A guaranteed method of widening your musical horizons from A through to T for Tinnitus.