Christmas presents I have 4 kids buying presents for brother in law with 2

margaretclare

I agree with sulkisu. What you write does sum up 'all that is wrong with Christmas', or Christmas as it has become.

When my kids were little they would play for hours with Lego. They couldn't seem to have too much of it.

we are having a clear out at the weekend to take some (hopefully lots!) of there old toys to the charity shop to make way for Santa.

Point # 1: There is no such person as 'Santa'. He, she or it does not exist.

As for the rest, I despair. There is so much wrong with this way of thinking. A few other people obviously also think so and have commented to that effect.

Seh1985

peachyprice wrote: »

Wow, so much resentment coming across.

You've been asked what they want, you're only going to get tat if you ask for tat, so ask for something you know they will like. It sounds as if you want to make sure you ask for gifts for the same value you're going to be spending on your bothers two, not necessarily what your children would like, which I find quite peculiar.

I think it's highly inappropriate to mention the imbalance, you buy a gift for a child that you think they want, not based on how many siblings they have or what their parents earn, it's not the children's fault after all.

And for the love of god, don't sit there on Christmas morning totting up how much was spent.

I'm not resentful to my niece and nephew I love them how on earth is asking for Christmas presents price ideas resentful? And I haven't mentioned any imbalance I'm asking others on a forum there opinions with lego toys there is such a wide price range I want to get them a nice present and I think I'll have much better things to do on Christmas morning thanks

Seh1985

clairehi wrote: »

We have a number of aunts/uncles, gps who ask us for gift ideas and it is always a little difficult to know what/how much it is appropriate to ask for. The trouble with just saying "lego" is the potential for getting several sets the same. But then if you ask for something v specific they may not know where to buy or it may be sold out.

My kids have an Amazon wish list each which we populate with a range of books and toys of differing prices each Xmas.

Rellies can choose what they want to buy for them and how much they want to spend without any embarrassment.

If they buy the gift from Amazon, it is marked as "purchased" and disappears from the "unpurchased" list so avoids duplicates. We ask them to let us know if they buy elsewhere so we can remove from the list.

That is brilliant I didn't know you could do that, and I can ask them to do one too then they will get the sets that they want as I haven't got a clue about lego friends there are so many different ones, thank you

kettlefish

I think the Amazon wishlist is a great idea, but obviously only give it out if people ask what the kids would like.

Growing up, we were a family of 3 children, and my auntie only had 2 children. Often, we would get round this by sending/receiving "family presents", usually a board game, but sometimes a big box of something unisex (Duplo, Playmobil, Lego) or a "family" book (encyclopaedia, Guiness World Records) to share. My mum and dad have still got all the board games at their house, and they still occasionally get played. The Duplo etc will be coming out again soon as my DD is 1 now!

Lunar_Eclipse

sarahemmiehowell wrote: »

we have asked them what they want and they both want lego
we have 4 children aged 7 5 3 and 1 and they have asked what our children want

Either give vague suggestions like they have, such as Playmobil, Sylvanians or craft supplies that enable them to choose their own budget, or give specifics. If you do the latter, have a think about what you would like your children to have and suggest 1 or 2 things for each of them, from your list to give them some choice. Make it clear that they are 'suggestions', so they know you are not requesting both.

Whilst I don't personally shop by cost/price, I understand you need to be looking within an appropriate price range, but to be honest, £20 would buy a 'main' present for at least the 1 and 3 year olds (& probably the 5 year old in my house) so I would be thinking of a much lower budget for them at least. They're not buying a main present afterall.

With close family members like this, my suggestions would be within the £0-15 range, given how young your children are. You also don't need to be suggesting gifts of equal price, I imagine a £2 rattle could delight a 1 year old, especially given that they are the fourth child (so have more toys than your eldest did at this age.) I generally prefer thinking in terms of value: you can get excellent, thoughtful and well received gifts for under £10.

Also consider doubling up, or even asking for 1 item for all four of them (box of craft supplies, easel, play kitchen, dolls house, kettle & tea set, something for the garden.) If you have too many toys already and your kids really don't need more, this could be an excellent suggestion.

good_advice

Hi Sarah
Christmas giving is always difficult. In some peoples affordability giving another family £80 with other gifts to buy would be to much.

With 4 children and being a practical person I would hope you are? I would not ask for toys but things like vest, pants and socks.
Slippers for each. Bubble bath, talc and shampoo from Johnsons range. Child size towels with character on. Maybe education game for sharing. A game like pop up pirates were children learn with the sords they have to take turns putting into the barrel.

Queen_B_3

When it came to buying for my 3 year old niece I asked my sister for ideas so she gave me a few then it was up to me what I bought. I just made sure I told my sister once I'd decided what I was buying so she could take it off the list, pretty simple really.

People get far too focused on how much things cost at Christmas and imbalances? I've never thought about it before. Never once thought 'oh I don't have any children so can only spend x on my nieces/nephews/friends children'

HalfPint

I haven't read all this thread so apologise if I am repeating others, or have missed a relevant point.

I am in the same situation with 4 children and brother in law has only 1...I'm sorry but I think this idea of 'amount per child' is wrong. They only way (imho) in this situation is to 'share', something that some humans seems to be incapable of.

We buy something for our neice, and they buy something for my 4 to share, often a board game. If my brother in law had 2 kids, the arrangement would be the same!

I also have to add that as adults we have to set an example and teach our kids to share. We do not buy pressies for brother in laws, sisters etc and instead try to get something the whole family can share and enjoy.

After all...Christmas is about giving not receiving...and it doesn't always have to be monetary.

HP x

Wickedwitch

I have to say I feel for the OP, but from a different angle.

I don't have kids, but have been in this situation with my SIL, who has actually pointed out before that she spends more on presents for me and her brother than we do for her. The problem is that she lives at home still and so has a much bigger income for Christmas. If she spends £40 each on the two of us she would genuinely expect us to spend £80 on her, when realistically we only put aside £20 for each of our (grown-up!) siblings.

It is her birthday this week, and I am already dreading her opening her card! We got her panto tickets to take her niece, which I know she should love as she really wanted to go last year, but unfortunately the price is clearly displayed on the front.

It really is the very worst of Christmas trying to 'balance' out the cost of any presents, but having been there I feel a lot of pressure to try to do just that.

sarahemmiehowell if how much you can afford to spend isn't an issue, then just buy whatever (within reason) you want to get your nieces/nephews, without worrying about it. Don't overspend because you feel you have to but from your post that doesn't seem to be what you were saying. Find out what sorts of characters the kids like and get one of those sets by lego?

If you do get it wrong they can always exchange it. The parents obviously haven't said anything to you about them expecting double for their kids - if they think it then they are about as lovely as my SIL and certainly aren't worth you getting stressed about when you have 4 kids of your own to buy for. Good luck!

Lunar_Eclipse

sarahemmiehowell wrote: »

That is brilliant I didn't know you could do that, and I can ask them to do one too then they will get the sets that they want as I haven't got a clue about lego friends there are so many different ones, thank you

Think carefully before you do that. We don't encourage Christmas wish lists or communicate what we want for Christmas in our house. I'm a bit sad that my mum has asked the kids what they want this year! I can see the logic in spending money wisely on gifts that will be suitable and used, but I also think Christmas is mainly not about gifts, that not knowing is part of the magic, that gift givers should put thought into buying (I know it can be hard) and receivers need to learn the art of gracious receiving. Maybe I really am getting old.:o

My 11 year old did surprise me in writing a Xmas Wish List at the weekend. It mentioned 3 things, two of which are food items. She will sub consciously know that she has a good chance of receiving what she would really like and has wanted for a while, because the request is reasonable (c£50.) I'm now wondering if this is because my mum asked recently. Her friends all seem to be getting iPhones or iPads this year (At times like these, I can't believe these parents are my friends. Aren't they adult priced gadgets?)

I'm surprised your youngest 2/3 will have specific toys/sets that they actually say they want, or do you mean you'll think of things they would probably like and put that on a list?