Moral dilema - do I put my neighbour's interests or my own first ?

[Deleted User]

I have been exactly in the same situation, I insulated the floor, put rugs down and walked barefoot and the neighbour still moaned everytime she saw me and kept reminding me how peaceful it used to be with the old owner (who was hardly every there).

Then I had a baby and when he started walking/running she complained about the noise again and I told her that he hadn't learnt to fly yet, it didn't go down too well

But the atmosphere got umbearable and we sold the flat 2 years later.

Jennifer_Jane

My neighbours are lovely, but they say they can hear me make coffee in the morning - eek! Very specific!

Meatballs

If you consider putting down carpet, ask him if he'll pay for it. You have already spent money replacing the !!!! smelling carpet?

tomstickland

This is the dilema. I could, for the sake of neighbouriless get the oak living room floor carpeted.

Having a laminated floor in a flat with people underneath is a very bad idea. I think your neighbour has good grounds to complain. If my upstairs neighbour binned the carpet then I think it'd make me life miserable; luckily our lease prohibits it.

I think you should carpet the floor or put a rug on it.
Go and sit in your neighbours flat and get someone else to walk around in your flat.

My philosophy is that if you live in a flat you do need to try live in a way that's considerate to neighbours, so do try to resolve this before it maybe escalates & a really nasty atmosphere occurs.

I agree.

Your place is soundproofed, there is nothing in the lease requiring you to carpet it, and you're entitled to enjoy it without interference, see the Human Rights Act.
Tell the miserable old $%^^($" you're allergic to carpets - dust mites etc.
Enjoy your home, be proud of it, and if your neighbour starts to talk to you about noise ask them to come up with a solution that won't cost you money.

I think this is a very selfish take on the situation. In a flat you have to balance your own wants with consideration for your neighbours. Maybe I want to practice guitar for 2 hours every night. Maybe the human rights act allows me to do this. However, it'd be highly inconsiderate of me and I couldn't behave like that knowing that I might be causing misery to a neighbour. Many leases prohibit uncarpeted floors, this is because they are a known problem.

lottee

Haven't read all the replies, but I wouldn't pay replace your flooring with carpet - no way. Well, unless he wants to foot the bill that is. Once the carpet is/was down, he'd find something else to moan about anyway, so where do you draw the line?

lynzpower

I think this is a very selfish take on the situation. In a flat you have to balance your own wants with consideration for your neighbours. Maybe I want to practice guitar for 2 hours every night. Maybe the human rights act allows me to do this. However, it'd be highly inconsiderate of me and I couldn't behave like that knowing that I might be causing misery to a neighbour. Many leases prohibit uncarpeted floors, this is because they are a known problem.

Many leases also prohibit musical instruments, mine did and I know bargain RZLs does as well.

Personaly, I would ask him for the money to do so, as you say you cant afford to replace it with carpet. If he coughs for the carpet (as its for his benefit) then fine.

Could you get him to walk around in your flat, while you are in his, to get a feel for how bad the noise actually is?

cpu

I think you're all being a bit unfair saying the neighbour sounds like a right moan and would moan about something else even if this situation was sorted.

All his points have been about noise, so it's obviously an issue for him. It's not like he moaned generally about every topic under the sun, is it? He (quite rightly imo) was worried that moving the rooms around would increase noise levels over his bedroom. Common sense says there will be more movement and therefore more noise coming from a living room rather than a bedroom so I think he raised a good point.

There is nothing worse than feeling unhappy in your home because of noise from others. It's not as if you can get away from it or have any control over it. It's your home where you're supposed to feel relaxed and enjoy peace and quiet but you have noise intrusion that you don't want and can't switch off. It doesn't take long for an annoyance such as this to build into a mountain of issue. It's no surprise that noise was used as a method of torture at one point. Even low levels of noise, if they are constant, can cause all sorts of anxieties and upset.

I have a lot of sympathy for the OP though, I understand how frustrating it must be after putting in so much time, effort and money. However I think the OP's frustration pales in comparison to the annoyance caused to the neighbour and they really did make a big mistake thinking putting down a wood floor was a good move in a flat. Obviously there will be certain levels of noise in flats, you can't escape that but wooden flooring is a common problem and widely accepted to be unsuitable for flats.

My opinion (and you did ask for opinions ) is that you should bite the bullet and carpet the place. Legalities don't come into it. You don't live in a detached bungalow, you live in a flat and you affect others. I think you made a mistake and you should accept that. If you don't, you may find your problems with your neighbour get worse and you end up unhappy where you live because of tension and bad feeling.

I also don't think it's reasonable to ask him to pay financially. The OP has caused the issue ( and remember wood floors in flats is a common problem the world over so it's not like it was an unforseeable surprising development) and I think the OP should sort it.

Sorry OP, I'd be really gutted there was any sort of problem if I were in your shoes. I just feel really strongly that if people thought more about how their actions affected others then there would be a lot less problems in the world and neighbourhoods would become more friendly instead of the selfishly isolated places they are rapidly becoming.

I wish you well in your new place and I hope this situation with your neighbour is just a blip and you are happy in your home. :beer:

MJMum

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irnbru_2

I have read all replies ....

Somerset wrote:

Bearing in mind, everything was insulated ( over and above building regs )

First off, the flooring sounds lovely

Secondly, what is the possiblity of putting in additional accoustic insultaion between the floors of the flats?

Finally, maybe you can call your local EHO and ask them to measure the amount of sound penetration.

hollydays

Isnt it the case that all official disputes with neighbours are recorded and have to be disclosed on selling? For this reason I wouldnt ignore him.her.Agree with lynzpower-go into his flat,listen, get the noise measured too.