Moral dilema - do I put my neighbour's interests or my own first ?

Somerset

This is the situation. I bought a flat five months ago which was a dump. It looked like it hadn't been touched in 20 years plus was full of cat pee and other unmentionables. I met the neighbour downstairs who seemed ok but a bit interfering. First problem was I wanted to switch the living room and bedroom - it made sense with the flat layout. No walls knocking, just switch the use round. The neighbour wasn't keen on this as my living room would then be over his bedroom He mentioned it would be noisier, But the flat layout didn't make sense the way it was. There was nothing in the lease setting out what went where or prohibiting a changearound so I went ahead. Second problem ( and in hindsight I should have seen this coming ) was I put down a engineered oak floor in the living room. It looks beautiful. There's nothing in the lease to say you can't have wooden floors ( some do I know ) There's new carpet in the bedroom. The whole flat had full acoustic insulation put under everything to eliminate noise/footfall. It cost a fair bit to do properly but I didn't want to cause problems - I wanted to do it right and get along with my neighbours. It's all finished now, but the neighbour downstairs has been up complaining about the noise. Says he can hear voices and footsteps and he's not happy.

This is the dilema. I could, for the sake of neighbouriless get the oak living room floor carpeted. I thnk this would reduce or eliminate the noise. I know wood carries sound whereas carpet dampens it. But it's money and the oak looks stunning. Plus I'm a bit miffed because I used to live in a flat where this exact same thing happened ie the guy upstairs to me put down laminate in his flat, and I could hear footsteps and murmered conversation, and you know what ? I never complained or mentioned it. I just took the view I lived in a flat in an old house and this was the way it was.

So the question is, would you put down carpet over the oak floor ? Bearing in mind, everything was insulated ( over and above building regs ), and the lease doesn't say you can't have wood floors. So in effect I'm doing nothing wrong and legally the neighbour can't make me. Would you still do it just for the sake of being neighbourly and getting along with him ?

roswell

Id say he lives in a flat and as everyone who has ever lived in a flat there will always be noise of some sort.

it sound you ahve done your best and id say that he must be listening very closely to hear footfall on the setup you have, (I did very much the same in our flat and even with steel toe boots on i can hardly hear my own foot fall)

seven-day-weekend

Yes, I agree if you live in a flat you should expect a certain amount of noise. Maybe have a square rug you can put down when it's later so that they can't hear so much in their bedroom..

MortgageMamma

How about just taking your shoes off and wearing soft fluffy slippers and trying not to tread too hard on the bedroom floor?

Errata

The neighbour complained about which rooms you would us
for what; the neighbour complains about being able to hear conversations; the neighbour will find something else to complain about, whatever you do. Looking to the future - you may have a partner move in and start trying for a family. Could be noisy, and just wait for the complaints about the patter of tiny feet. If the noise bothers the neighbour suggest they insulate their ceilings !
And to answer your question - put a rug down to suit your lifestyle, but not to suit your neighbour's lifestyle.

MortgageMamma

I think there has to be a small degree of compromise- but errata is right your neighbour does seem to be a bit of a moaner - if you live in and flat and are not on top floor you have to expect to have a little noise - the bit bout hearing conversations - you can't really do a lot about that bit can you

Tiger_greeneyes

I lived in a purpose built block where the neighbours above me complained to me that they could hear me opening or closing my curtains. Some people will complain about anything.

When they had a baby (yep, in a tiny one bedroom flat), they put him by the open window and when he cried (all night, every night, I might add) they left him there - they didn't think to take him into the living room so as to try to minimise the noise for the other five flats around them. I asked them if they wouldn't mind doing just that - after I'd had minimal sleep for six weeks I was desperate - and she hit the roof

The moral of this story is that some neighbours don't play by their own rules.

All you can do is your best, you don't seem like the nightly thrash metal party type to me As you've had all the sound proofing done I'd be surprised if he actually heard much at all. Maybe you could offer to pop down to have a listen while a friend wanders around your living room? At least then you'll hear what he hears...

littlesaint

I have been in the exact same situation as your neighbour. The flat upstairs had a kitchen above my bedroom. The landlord put insulation under but it was still really loud when people walk around the room. One of the tenants worked for a radio station breakfast show and would get up really early to go to work. This would wake me up.

You have to realise that footsteps above you is worse than music, conversation or traffic if you are trying to get to sleep. The ceiling and walls can vibrate and even a decent pair of earplugs can't block this out. Even when there is no noise, you can get stressed because you don't know when you are going to get woken up. I lost a lot of sleep living in that flat and it was one of the reasons I moved out.

My neighbours were very considerate and realised it was a problem. That helped, but it probably wasn't ideal for either of us. Yes, you have to accept some kind of noise when you live in flats. I'm living in one at the moment and can put up with lots of noise during the day. But this situation shows how important flat layout is - I have a flat above me at the moment but my bedroom is under someone else's bedroom. That works out great for me sleepwise.

Somerset

Thanks everyone.

Yesterday I thought 'sod it' I'll put down carpet to keep him happy. Today I remembered him being unhappy about the room switch-over ( which I'd forgotten about ) and mentally dug my heels in. Basically I'm still dithering about what I'll do. I hate arguments and can't stand the thought that he'll keep coming up to complain.

The trouble is the previous owner had carpets throughout - manky, smelly, dirty etc, but carpets nonetheless, so I'm sure the wooden floor is conducting more noise and he's comparing what it used to be like, with now.

Does anyone ever feel like they put up with stuff others apparently don't, or alternatively other people want everything perfect and complain when it's not ? Like I said I had this situation in reverse before and it never crossed my mind to complain - I knew they weren't deliberately noisy, it was just an old house.


I spent so long sorting this flat out and it's really looks great. But I'm not proud of it or happy with the result - I'm just dreading another knock on the door.

cattie

I once lived in a flat where a new neighbour moved in upstairs & took up all the carpets & had wooden floorboards in all the rooms.

The result was I could hear everything, walking,talking, coughing, sneezing, phone conversations etc.etc.

It ended up making me ill & it was as though I was being forced to live with somebody elses every little noise involved in daily living. So I know only too well just how bad having to cope with noise from above can be. I ended up selling up after 6 months because I couldn't take any more.

I think what you really need to do to try to evaluate & appreciate just how your noise may be affecting your neighbour is to go down to his flat & listen while somebody walks about & talks in your flat.

My philosophy is that if you live in a flat you do need to try live in a way that's considerate to neighbours, so do try to resolve this before it maybe escalates & a really nasty atmosphere occurs.

Errata

Somerset, what would your neighbour have expected if you'd binned the
manky carpets, couldn't afford to replace them and were happy to have bare floorboards until you could? Doubtful if they'd offer you the money to buy carpets ! Your place is soundproofed, there is nothing in the lease requiring you to carpet it, and you're entitled to enjoy it without interference, see the Human Rights Act.
Tell the miserable old $%^^($" you're allergic to carpets - dust mites etc.
Enjoy your home, be proud of it, and if your neighbour starts to talk to you about noise ask them to come up with a solution that won't cost you money.
Just a thought - was the previous owner an elderly person? Didn't move around much and was very quiet?