Family Dilemma...................

lynzpower

Oh I agree with Queenie and bluebell


Sned nephew a card, maybe a bus ticket and tell him to come & visit you and youll buy him a pint, which at 18 I think hed be more interested in than older women in the family bickering among each other! At 18 I wouldnt have been seen dead with my family

your sister sounds like the sort of person who huffily tells you not to bother, then could well chuck another mood cos you ddint turn up. :rotfl:

Lifes too short for all this carry on- do something more productive instead- open a bottle of wine and send him a card & girft

gwinnie

This seems to be more about her than your nephew. And it shouldn't be as it's HIS big day. Because it's such a big birthday for him, I would actually go, as planned, and concentrate on your him, no matter how frosty she is being. It's not his fault, and he shouldn't be deprived from his family, and it will be great to give him his card and pressie in person. Then take your nan for a nice meal somewhere after and have some nice family time together.

victory

91? Crumbs, your poor nan does not need this, your sis is spoiling it for everyone.,..your nephew is having the party and should be happy and free of family frostiness, send him a fab card with lots of love in it and let your sis stew in her own coldness, hell of a long way to go for sour puss face!!

Toto

And without meaning to upset you I would also remind her that your nan is 91 (my OHs nan is 91 too) she isn't going to be here for the next 50 years. Time with any family member is precious, but her stupid selfish behaviour is depriving your nan of spending time with her family and your nephew from having lovely memories of his great nan at his 18th. It sounds to me as if the silly woman needs some real problems in her life so she stops creating them unnecessarily from what should be a happy family occasion.

ailuro2

You can choose your friends but not your relatives....:rolleyes:

We have no contact with any of our parents-and only see around half of the brothers/sisters.

Despite many years of trying we just couldn't escape the nagging question..

why am I trying so hard to please these people who are draining me emotionally, when I only have one life to live and should be making the most of it?
We decided years ago that it was a poor example to show our dd and that she wouldn't miss anything they had to offer(no love to give,or wisdom to impart), much better to be surrounded by a happy home environment instead.

Your Nan sounds lovely:D - if your sis has basically uninvited you,then by all means msn your nephew letting him know why you won't make it,send him a card with some brown drinking vouchers enclosed, but for your own sake--go book into a different hotel in a different area-somewhere your Nan has always wanted to see- and make it a lovely weekend for her.
You will have a weekend of wonderful memories to treasure, and it will be nice for her to get out and about while she is still able- at 91 it's not too harsh to assume her mobility is not what it was a few years ago?

If Nan doesn't want to go to a hotel then take her somewhere really special on the money you would have spent getting to and staying at your dear sisters:p Tea at the Ritz if you are in London, or a family portrait,perhaps?

Make the most of the good family you have and let the others decide whether they want to join in..:A

changkra

nearlyrich wrote: »

Blooming families LOL

I agree with bluebell13, have a glass of wine and ignore them all.

I can't believe your sis left your 91 year old nan looking after her 9 year old and went on holiday![/QUOTE]

My thoughts entirely. How irresponsible of your sister. Your Nan is 91 for goodness sake she more than likely has enough coping with herself without a child on top.

As for your sis, it sounds like you can never please he no matter what you do. So, you may as well think about your own family and do what is best for yourself, hubby and children, put yourselves first. You'll probably be in the wrong no matter you choose to do so do what you want, take control and good luck.

Tam_Lin

Nothing like a family drama, is there? We've had similar in our family. I remember when my sister married a man everyone hated and his family took over the wedding preparations; my mother lay wailing across the front doorstep in a melodramatic fashion, and my sister stepped over her and went out. They didn't really speak again for 2 years until my sister left him for beating her up.

Don't go to the party, and don't discuss it further with the spoilt sister, who is creating this drama. Send your nephew a card and gift instead. Rise above the playground politics.

gingercordial

I would say go (all of you), on the weekend before his birthday, because it's not your nephew's fault and especially with his grandma being 91 she may not be there for future significant birthdays (sorry, don't want to upset you by saying this).

Can you all go down, stay somewhere, go to a local pub and ask your nephew to join you there, or pick him up and all take him out for lunch? Ask his mother if she wants to come too, but no skin off your nose if she doesn't. Tell her it's because you want your nephew to have a nice day out with his grandmother. If possible, can you persuade your other sister to come too?

I know it won't be pleasant with your sister (your nephew's mum) but it's about him not her. And no way would he have wanted you all there at his main party with his mates the following weekend, he's 18! Was his nan supposed to stay up all night boozing with a bunch of 18 year old lads?

Good luck!

Earth_Angel_2

Thanks again for all the replies.

Just to update you, i have just rang to speak with my nephew but he is at work and wont be home til about 9.15, So i will try him tonight and explain that we cannot make it.

Will probally cause another rift in the family (which is the last thing i wanted :mad: ), but like you say life's too short.

Earth Angel x

mountainofdebt

may cause more bad feeling than there already is (if that is possible!) if you were to go down there and then your sister (and possibly nephew) not bother with you.

Unless you know for deinite that there will be some sort of family gathering then I would just send a card with a pressie of sorts.

At 18, and especially as far as boys are concerned, I would imagine the last thing your nephew really and truely wants is a family get together..........it sounds as if its more his mum's idea than his.