'supporting each other through really tough times'

[Deleted User]

PX87 they'll make it!!! the help available for early babies these days is huge and so much better than it used to be, the special care for prems is amazing, but I can understand the poor lad being worried at the prospect. The home not being finished can be finished and if it's not, is it liveable as is? that would solve a problem for them and the work can be finished later on, when they've gotten used to baby. They sound as though they have thier heads screwed on the right way and are very sensible for folks so young. It won't be easy, babies are very hard work, but MIL is probably not liking her daughter becoming independent and trying to keep hold of the leading reins as long as she can. She will probably change her attitude when baby has arrived and she's a Grandma, maybe that's part of her problem, she maybe is not ready for that in her own head? She'll come round, it might take a bit of time, but she will!!! Wish them luck and give them a hug from us all on here, Cheers Lyn xxx.

PRINCESSX87

I have basically spent the last hour speaking to family & friends about their situation and asked if anyone can help out.

My dad’s nipping down to arg0s now to buy them a cooker, Fridge freezer and is going to pay to have the carpets laid. My mum has just sorted them a corner sofa

So, Within maybe a week they “should” be in their own place. Even though I cant afford to really help OH has said that we can buy them some food for when their freezer is in.

Like you say, The walls & painting isn’t going to be perfect but they can add to that when they can.

Thank you SO much for all the support on here peeps it means a whole lot, I promise!

PS: Just been accepted to freecycle ect, So going to have a quick nose whilst I wait on the kettle! xxx

[Deleted User]

Good girl, with you and the family to look out for them, they'll manage it all and manage it well, you're a good bunch you know that? Chin up pet, Cheers Lyn xxx.

greenbee

You should be able to pick up LOTS of stuff on freecycle Princess. Mine usually has beds, furniture, crockery, bedding, paint, curtains, towels etc. If you put a 'Wanted' up you should get lots of responses, but also look at what is being offered.

Try freegle as well, as it's very active in your area.

Get them to look for baby stuff on local facebook groups, NCT sales etc.

You might also find that asking round your friends works, as people are often happy to be able to declutter! People often have stuff lurking in the loft, or a spare pillow or duvet they've been meaning to get rid of.

Rather than buying them food for their freezer, how about cooking them 'ready meals' when you do your own batch cooking? When the baby arrives, having something they can just heat up and eat will be a real bonus. My mum and I did this for my SIL so she had a couple of weeks' worth of easy meals when my niece was born, and it really helped her not to have to think about shopping or cooking.

It sounds as if your brother and his GF are being very responsible. I suggest they move into the new house as soon as it is habitable, rather than waiting for it to be finished. As someone has said, a roof, walls, basic bathroom and kitchen, somewhere to sleep and somewhere to eat are all they need right now.

They are very lucky to have such a supportive family, and in the context of the other discussions - the fact that they have been trying to do everything themselves shows that they're not expecting hand outs.

Bigjenny

PX87 hope you don't mind if I offer some advice. If you ask for anything on Freecycle its nice to say please and thank you, and not to use text speak.

I have just offered something and will ignore any that just say "hve u still got it, etc."

Hope you manage to get some lovely things for them.

greenbee

Bigjenny wrote: »

PX87 hope you don't mind if I offer some advice. If you ask for anything on Freecycle its nice to say please and thank you, and not to use text speak.

I have just offered something and will ignore any that just say "hve u still got it, etc."

Hope you manage to get some lovely things for them.

VERY good point! Polite requests, good spelling and grammar really do help Explaining why you need it without over-dramatising either really helps

E.g. for my brother and GF who trying to get their new home ready before their baby is born

is enough to let people know why they need things

PRINCESSX87

Thank you so much for all the support & advice guys & gals.

I feel ive taken over this thread since joining as recently its been nothing but drama's in my life! But seeing there is still good people in this world makes me smile.
:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

Going to have to learn to take a back seat from now on!

Greenbee. Batch cooking sounds like a great idea & i never thought about the cooking side of things.! Will do that instead i think.

Please's & thank you's are in place of the advert, But grammer & spelling isn't my strong point, So i might struggle there! :rotfl:
xxx

monnagran

Thank the Lord for this forum. And thank you all for your lovely words of encouragement.

Fuddle: Don't worry petal, I'm not absolutely consumed by guilt, just the little pangs of wondering if there was something else I could have done. I have enquired and apparently they are looking at 'death from natural causes' which covers a multitude of things.
Haven't heard from DS1 which is good news. It means that he isn't feeling the need to unload to his Mum.
Good luck with the paperwork. You must feel that it will never come to an end.

Nutty: You go for that holiday my pet. You really need it.

PrincessX87: It strikes me that the MIL is feeling broody. Her child is 2years old and she would probably quite like to have another baby to hold and sees bringing up her DD's baby as an easy option. Her suggestion that the baby lives with her rings alarm bells. She wants the pram and the baby, not to help out but to take over. RAS is right. As long as they and the baby have the basic equipment and plenty of love nothing else matters. My instinct would be not to shut the MIL out but to only let her see the baby on their terms and on their ground. Thank goodness they've got you.

Right. The Rev is making 'what's for tea' noises. So must go and rustle something up from the fridge.

x

PRINCESSX87

Thank you again for all the kind supportive messages and advice!
xx :beer::beer:

Mrs_Veg_Plot

nuttyp wrote: »

Oh has managed to get a week off in October, and has asked me to look fro a very cheap basic week away. I have found a bargain week to the Algarve, very basic accommodation but there is a pool. £122 each with flights. We can just afford to go, and after the last few days it probably a good escape. Has anyone ever been there, and is it warmish in October?? I know not very money saving, but he thinks we need some time for ourselves.

Take care everyone x

Nuttyp we went to the Algarve in October many years ago (in the days when we had money)when the girls were little and had a great holiday. The weather was quite nice. It was not blisteringly hot but was warm enough for the beach. There are some beautiful places to visit along the coast. The food was amazing and the locals very friendly. I hope you have a great time.