first days of retirement - Decompression Zone

Newly_retired

You have done well do far, congratulations!
DH and I retired 5 yrs ago and I was planning to declutter and move house within about a year, but DH straight away got another job so most things were put on hold.
We did get a new bathroom, much needed, and revamped /upgraded the kitchen but that's all. Massive decluttering now needed and consider whether to redecorate or leave it as it is for buyers to do thier own thing.
Ceiling tiles and woodchip walls may be offputting.
We need to move to somewhere more suitable to grow old in, and DH agrees that much, but taking it any further is not going to happen in a hurry.
I have to choose my moment to suggest anything.
He has now officially retired, and slowly getting used to it, but not ready to rush into anything.

moneyistooshorttomention

Nope - no ceiling tiles at least here. The ceilings are standard modern normal painted white - so nothing wrong there at least (well a bit of not-quite-professional standard "joining" of two panels or whatever-it-was on the sitting room ceiling but it's not unduly noticeable). At least its not artex or ceiling tiles:D

The woodchip walls in 3 rooms and main area...wouldnt be MY choice either..it was a case of 2 of those rooms had that anyway and needs must for the other room and main area - so I did that:o

That's a shame newly retired that your plans to move earlier got put on hold - but hopefully will work out soon for you now. I will admit I am regarding it as a distinct blessing that I only have my own wishes/tastes to take account of as to where to live and how to do it. I am definitely "showing my age" when I watch those housebuying programmes and have been surprised to note the man in a couple having equal input as to which house to buy. Yes...I know so he should too and that's only fair...so I suppose I'm obviously too used to watching my mother being the one that basically made the "house" type decisions. The one "fly in the ointment" in my case is my mother is trying hard as surreptitiously as she can (which isn't very subtle - as I know her too well:rotfl:) to influence me to stay put, though that would be against my own best interests and tastes. But I am very conscious that I have an estimated 25-30 years of life ahead of me and I need to be settled in a way that suits me for that length of time.

I get the "more suitable to grow old" in. I am taking that to mean "somewhere that suits my tastes and the lifestyle I want" first and foremost - but bearing in mind that its best to have either very "straightforward" style stairs or no stairs (in other words - not my current house). My main storage space is in the loft (and that means climbing up and down a loft ladder over a sheer drop at pretty regular intervals and makes me nervous now). It would be much better if my storage space was in a garage or boxroom and I haven't got either of those in this house. So - I take safety considerations into account personally, but not the standard "suppose I become a frail/ill type old person?" ones. Each to their own on that - its just my personal decision not to take into account possible frail/ill type considerations (though I know a lot of people DO make allowances for possible future illness...its just not MY thing to do that personally).

I grinned today when watching a househunting programme when the couple walked into a house (a MUCH dearer one than I could dream of:() out of the 3 selected and they both instantly "lit up" and obviously "fell in love" with it. Ah! I thought...thats what those MSE posters are on about..thats what "falling in love" with a house feels like is it...

I can understand your husband "slowly getting used to retirement" - he may be having a bit of the "Am I sure..am I really really sure I'm being ALLOWED to retire at last after all these years?" I may be starting to believe it - just a little bit - as I feel like I'm starting to stand up a bit straighter and breathe a bit more deeply (I've been conscious of having a lot of shallow/panicky type breathing a lot of the time for some while - so its nice to have some deep/normal breathing at last - if only a little bit of the time so far).

moneyistooshorttomention

Had the "most special" of my retirement meals yesterday - me treating a couple of very good friends to a Special meal in a restaurant none of us had tried before. It met my (ahem...exacting) standards, which not a lot do and was very nice. Everyone else obviously thought so - jampacked and a hopeful little queue waiting for a table. You wouldnt have believed it was 2012 judging by how busy it was:D

Woke up this morning for the first time since retirement (probably first time ever) thinking "Way-hey:beer:". I've been so miserable for so long that even a lot of the most basic things I should have been doing had gone by the board (as I retreated into a protective little shell to get through in one piece) and I'm slowly rescuing the house from the tip it had become. Then I can start on that springcleaning and I've got an Ipad to learn to use (bought that yesterday - so I have Internet "on the move"). But - as a former work colleague said "The best revenge (ie against our employer) is to Live Well. When you retire - fly high and free."

My house goes into Stage 1 Marketing Mode next week. Full Marketing Mode will "swing in" in the spring if necessary. I will, however, seek to take advantage of the fact that houses in my particular little area have always typically sold easily and often by "word of mouth". So "word of mouth" marketing starts next week - but I'm prepared to "have things a bit harder" than I had expected for many years re selling this house and have got an estate agent lined up if need be and a preparedness if I have to to take weeks (rather than days) before a buyer is on the scene that I would never have had to do in the past. So the "just in case" main Marketing Strategy has been thought through and I hope it won't take paying estate agent fees/taking up to 2 months to get a buyer that I think it might well take in the current economic climate (must just be thankful it won't take months at any rate - as I know is currently happening to people in many parts of the country). So - that's something to be thankful for and a little "nudge" to myself to "have a nag" at the Council (as that graffiti nearby hasnt been cleaned-up yet). The highest number of "nags" I've had to have to get the Council to remove an "unwanted addition" to the neighbourhood came to an all-time record of about 10 I think (the standard number of "nags" averages 2 I find currently).

moneyistooshorttomention

Progress to date - well into the "admin. of life" currently as another poster referred to it as being.

A lot of very basic "admin" things get put on the backburner in my experience in the run-up to retirement (ie the "I'll catch up with this, that, etc when I retire") and I have caught up with quite a lot of it now.

Beyond that - a definite decision has been made to sell up and move and that will be a New Adventure of itself obviously - ie get my permanent home together/explore a new area I've never even been to/make new friends/etc.

So my current house is well on the way to being springcleaned/decluttered/generally got "ready for sale" (complete with accompanying nervousness about just how fussy buyers feel able to be at the moment compared to when I was buying it in the first place and sellers "had the whip hand" and some of them - ie mine - used/abused it) - and there will come a point when I think "What now? What do I do with the Rest of My Life?". Obviously there will be that getting to know new area/etc/etc as from (hopefully) some point next year and then what for the next 25 or so years?

I have done a couple of Major Things I am quite proud of in my Life So Far (despite having to hold down a full-time job) and am wondering if I can/want to Achieve Something More during the rest of my life (ie other than just what I want for me personally). I personally have quite a longish list of To Dos/To Learns - but it might be nice to have a bit of a "sense of purpose" and achieve maybe a little something else as well that I can look back on and feel pride in.

So - there have been various people who Achieved Something (becoming famous writer/becoming famous artist/going for a Long Walk Across The World/etc/etc) after their spell having to earn a living was over and they were free at last for whatever-they-wanted. I know I had to learn patience and determination during that "earning a living" - but it does feel like it was a total "waste of time" apart from that - but needs must and (like most of us) I had to do it....

I do know I am pretty fortunate that there is nothing now to stop me Doing What I Want (no health problems/no being in a 'carer' role/no having to work on after retirement age/etc) and that is a big asset I thoroughly appreciate and don't want to waste.

Good Role Models wanted please:D. Has anyone achieved something they will be Remembered By (whether just for themselves or helping to Change Society for the Better or anything really....:rotfl:) once all their time was their own. I will feel sorta guilty I know if all I do is what suits me personally, but doesnt actually Achieve Something during the rest of my life (that "protestant work ethic" thing I guess) and I certainly don't intend to even try to go back into paid work.

Thoughts anyone?

Newly_retired

I know I am not the only one on here who has found voluntary work suits a lot of people. It can also fulfil personal needs/ gaps/ challenges/ help others/ give something back/ help to change lives etc.
Sorry if that sounds corny.
For me, I have found working for CAB ticks many boxes
- intellectually stimulating - lots to learn, and go on learning as so much keeps changing
- gives a structure to my week ( well, part of it anyway)
- enables me to feel part of a group of people, ie other volunteers and paid staff, to exchange news and views ie the camaraderie of work
- as a fairly shy person, I have people I can talk to without inhibition. It is part of our ethos that we are non-judgmental, non-discriminatory. I don't have to be sociable if I don't want to, as there is always plenty to keep me busy
- I enjoy using a computer at work
- enables me to meet many people from all walks of life that I would not otherwise encounter
- enables me to be aware of the needs of others , especially the most vulnerable memebers of society
- I can do my bit to help others, especially those who cannot write letters or explain themselves very well
- even in a small way I can influence social policy, by recording instances of injustice
etc etc
Others will have their own answers I'm sure.

Newly_retired

Just as well I have my work as DH is busy again, covering for a colleague who is ill - so his diary is filling up again. So much for his retirement!
( Seriously, I don't mind as this guy is a good friend and we are happy to help)

moneyistooshorttomention

I like the way you enumerate benefits Newly Retired - the one about meeting people from different walks of life sounds a good one to me. I was very involved in a group some years back that involved this meeting with people from a wider range of backgrounds than I had encountered for a while (ie artistic and intellectual) and it was a relief to meet people with a "wider range" than normal. The group was huge and interesting, but its time came and went rather and that was a loss to me personally. Another more recent one never quite got off the ground as much as I had hoped. So - chances for a wider range of people to talk to would be good.

Anyway - a bit more progress. The area I am looking to move to is a lot "slower-moving" than my own and a particular house I have had my eye firmly on from afar is still up for sale:D:T and I have decided to make a special mini-trip to have a look at it in person (plus a few other "maybe for me" type houses whilst there) - so I've got a viewing lined up for this house and the others and will be off for a couple of nights in a b & b there soon (provided this house continues not to sell to anyone in the meantime...fingers crossed hard it won't).

As with anything in life I guess - there's "divided feelings factors". In this case - a parent who has come down severely ill - and I'm doing hospital visiting, etc, with that with one hand and arranging my Future Life with the other hand. I know I have to go ahead with Future Life - because otherwise My Life could be "on hold" for some years yet (or maybe never happen at all!!) and I've been waiting/planning/saving to have A Retirement all this time. My mother knows in her heart of hearts I will be going, but I'm not sure she understands that I have no option but to go and hence am looking at it positively as Fresh Start/New Life and planning on enjoying myself there. Still time marches on and I have to be/shall be marching with it - so nervous but excited and gotta go check out my train times for my imminent Mini Trip to the Future.

Another thing it would be useful to hear peoples experiences on is of having to move to another part of the country, whilst still having parent/s alive in the part of the country they are currently and those parents do NOT want you moving and are not well. I guess its a bit different if its just a "wish" to move - but there are a whole combination of factors that mean I actually "have" to move elsewhere (even if I didnt particularly wish to). How did things play out for anyone else in this position? I have visions of having some lengthy/expensive trips back here at intervals in the mind - and am not looking forward to that aspect, but needs must.

chesky

I must admit that if my daughter moved away with my two granddaughters, I would feel it dreadfully. My son lives on the south coast with my grandson and I see them pretty regularly - at least once a month, as my son likes to keep in touch with his London friends. In fact I see them more often now since he split up with his partner as she didn't like coming to London and used to dissuade him from visiting very often. But my daughter and granddaughters live a ten minute drive away and how I would miss them.

moneyistooshorttomention

Well...that's my first year or so of retirement "under my belt" and I have now moved.

So time for a "refresh and rethink". I've got my starter house ready for sale and duly sold and moved to My Home. Done lots of renovating work on my home so far/met the neighbours/started up belly dance and Welsh classes.

This time next year my house should feel more livable-in. Still a bit of a building site and so I haven't really got that much into "local life" here yet.

Resolutions for New Year being that by this time next year:

- house will be finished (okays...make that as finished as my money will allow for:cool::()

- have reasonable knowledge of everyday type Welsh

- garden will be producing at least some food for me (got a few vegetables looking nearly ready for the table..cheats version of plug plants were planted)

- have made one local friend (a neighbour) and a few "friendly faces" to date. Hopefully will have made a few more.

Wondering whether I ought to organise myself into some sort of daily routine (still a bit problematic with workmen coming and going, if not right at the moment because its Christmas Break time). Routine is a word that has previously been anathema to me...but maybe it has its uses. Thoughts?

Guess maybe a bit of organising time a bit is more necessary for single people (as couples/families have each other "occupying their time" one way or another).

Hmm....:think: maybe devote any mornings where I don't have "events" to go to to a bit of yoga and then an hour or two of learning Welsh....

Time for cup of coffee and re-read this thread through to see what helpful thoughts other people have come up with....

Mint1955

Omg where did a year go. I loved following you then as always life gets in the way so when I saw your story pop up in my list I read the latest post and it took a while as I had to go back a few and that's when I realised a year had passed!

So glad you are moved and getting settled well done you xxxx