first days of retirement - Decompression Zone

moneyistooshorttomention

So - I have now just retired. It's been long-awaited. I have been/am looking forward to it and have plans to use all that extra free time:D

I've used the phrase "Decompression Zone" - because I guess that's what I'm in now. Right now I'm bone-weary (physically and mentally) - not helped by a pain in a fingerpad hurting throughout the night and disturbing my sleep (finger infection I'd better soak in salty water in a minute I guess and then whack on the teatree oil again).

Nose all sniffy, eyes all teary (but it wouldn't appear to be a cold - just sheer weariness).

Wreck of the Hesperus time:cool:

I'd had the job for quite some time and it was never a "Good Job" (of itself or financially) and I've had to battle to manage to hang onto it until retirement. I've had to be in "fighting mode" for SO long to keep the "Not a Good Job" because it made sense to do so. I was short of other financial options, so had to.

I feel so punch-drunk that I can't even raise a feeling of relief at having reached retirement age and been able to retire at last at the moment. The job was a "walking disaster zone" in one way or another right up to the last day.

Fortunately - for me - I've heard teachers often come down ill/tired/etc for the fast few weeks of that long summer vacation just because of the sheer stress of the job - so I guess I'm in a similar position to them and the "air will clear" and a Whole New Day Has Dawned feeling will come and I'll feel well/have my energy back at some point fairly soon anyway.

The job has "sucked the life" out of me for quite some time now and it's been difficult to "hold it together" in my own life and the house is a tip/I've put on a little weight (all those consoling drinks to "drown my sorrows" - not heavy drinking, but more than I am personally happy with). I think I shall feel free to actually stop anaesthetising myself with drink now - which will be good:D. It will be nice to have my figure back too:D

So - I guess this is a bit of "get it out of my system". But I would appreciate if anyone else has any useful comments to make from a "been there, done that, got the teeshirt" position. Reassurance I'll emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis and how to get to that position and cope with what I presume is "being in Decompression Zone" meanwhile welcome.

chesky

I think everyone who has retired will empathise with this to some extent. I did like my job for many years but over time it became more stressful and by the time I retired, I was definitely ready for it.

After a week though I realised that I couldn't sit around all day, watching daytime TV and not using the brain god gave me (such as it is) so immediately volunteered for my local citizens' advice bureau. Changed my life - it's interesting, friendly and actually does some good.

I'm not saying this would be right for you - everyone has to find their own way in retirement. But I do think that everyone has to have a 'project'. I have to plan to do 'something' every day, whether it's going into the bureau, a specific task in the house or garden. shopping in central London, visiting a gallery, whatever. I can't bear the thought of a day when I don't accomplish something however small.

Very good luck with the years ahead.

blossomhill_2

Hi OP, I can relate to this having taken early retirement/redundancy a few months ago - I was so work weary and from looking after sick realtives that I couldn't be sure fi I really needed to retire or just sleep for a month and go back to work - I haven't looked back yet!

I decided to keep my 6am getting up time, keep my "get everything washed up and cats fed by 8am routine" and decided my job now was to get myself recovered - it is working well, I am fitter and feel a good 10 year younger - so far

I started walking - everything hurt - 2 miles with Walking for Health was a struggle but now I walk on autopilot on my own (they're too slow for me now) and it feels like my body was made for it - only do up to 6 miles a day but no backache, footache, no nothing-ache

I used to doze off frequently but don't now my body is working better

I've had to be strict with myself over money and decided that "my free time" was my treat, my luxury item, and I couldn't afford any other luxuries. I know I was lucky enough to be able to afford it, others aren't all so lucky and I don't want to abuse the priviledge

I'd pictured sitting in garden centre cafes with friends having cake but can't afford the cake or the calories LOL - actually at first I was cake-obsessed, as we had so much of it at work, but now don't really fancy it or eat it

I have taken on some very small freelance joblets and appreciate the flow of a little money in rather than out, and the stimulation of having a little bit of contact with others - it has been frustrating that friends are still at work so want to do everything at weekends but I am adjusting to it

There are a lot of hours in the day! But I've quickly accepted that. I enjoy TV but am usually doing something else at the same time, craft, admin, joblet and have set hours in the day when it has to be off

My biggest challenge has been to not rush into all my "I'll do that when I retire" promises in the first year - I still need something to look forward to

I've spoken to neighbours I never knew, and take more interest in local affairs now, instead of rushing out of the house at 7:30am. I find talking to ex-collegues hard as nothing has changed for them so they have little to say, except for a couple of real work-friends

My biggest frustration has been voluntary jobs - the admin of some orgs is appalling and they either haven't responded, treat volunteers badly, or are pretty obviously corrupt when you see them from the inside, but I've stuck at it and found a couple of vol jobs that fit in with my energy levels and interests and I spend a few hours a week with them, and have made friends there too, which is opening out my little world

I've enjoyed small things too, like wearing the same clothes for several days in a row, (they wash and dry overnight) and growing my hair longer - I couldn't have done that at work but now what I wear is my business

I thought I might hit a down with winter approaching but actually enjoy walking and gardening in the cold, and my interests continue all year, it's not like I am a sunworshipper

One thing is for sure, it won't be what you pictured, but with a positive attitude it can be great. With hindsight, I would do it all again - of course I would - I actually liked my job but shudder to think of being tied to it again

chesky

......My biggest frustration has been voluntary jobs - the admin of some orgs is appalling......

absolutely correct. when you come from a management or admin background, you realise how badly run some charity organisations are. I would never have gotten away with the lackadaisical attitudes I've seen.

For me also, it's important to keep smart. Get up and fix oneself up - make-up, hair, etc. The thought of slopping around in the morning in a dressing gown actually frightens me - thin end of the wedge!

Ken68

Congrats Money.. on your retirement.
Thoughly echo the suggestion about 'projects'.
Mine were, get the house tidy, keep it tidy, paint, decorate etc.
Then I discovered MSE and am going thru each forum reducing my costs.
And I have noticed with some of my siblings that losing the authority they had at work came hard. So best to admit this at the very beginning and create a totally new confidence building lifestyle. For example, lose weight as you mention.
But don't try to enhance your old skills.

moneyistooshorttomention

Thanks for thoughts so far everyone.

:rotfl:re the "losing authority at work":rotfl: I never HAD any "authority" to lose. The only times I've had "authority" ever were in the context of voluntary work I have done in the past. That's introduced one thought along the lines of "You can't miss what you haven't had". Well - actually I think it's perfectly possible to miss something you haven't had - but I wasn't after "authority" in the context of a paid job anyway - so I didn't miss that, just missed having any job satisfaction or a decent-level salary (things I never had - but found were perfectly possible to "miss").

At least I can now get some "job satisfaction" again - something I HAVE had in the course of that previous voluntary work.:D

blossomhill_2

chesky wrote: »

......My biggest frustration has been voluntary jobs - the admin of some orgs is appalling......

absolutely correct. when you come from a management or admin background, you realise how badly run some charity organisations are. I would never have gotten away with the lackadaisical attitudes I've seen.

In the case of one charity, the head office repeatedly said they had asked the local manager to contact me, but he never did. I felt like saying, "I've just left a £xx p.a management job, so you are effectively turning down that value in expertise". I had also offered to do the gardening, in case anyone felt their admin job might be threatened, so can't decide if they were inefficient or deliberate. They say in the local paper how they value the support of the local community, but I wouldn't support them now

Another one makes a big fuss in their literature about how important their volunteers are, but only take 2 at a time "due to lack of space" on a site that covers many many acres

I forgot to say "congrats on your retirement OP" - you should enjoy it!

Ken68

So many young people out of work,Money, in a sense making way for them is a good thing.
And this site will make your pension go further.

moneyistooshorttomention

I shall certainly bear in mind the comments re the way some charities are run and not necessarily expect that all will be "sweetness and light and efficiently organised", etc.

I still recall a previous organisation (not a charity) that I did some voluntary work for for a while years back during a spell of unemployment. I think the paid worker possibly DID feel a bit "threatened" by this unpaid volunteer (ie me). I possibly didn't help that situation by realising that they were:
- missing out on a possible moneymaking chance

and

- being ripped off with what they were being charged for something.

I duly said about these two things. They took advantage of the chance I had created for that "money making venture" - but I never got any thanks for it. They told me I was wrong to say they were being "ripped off" with charges for something and never DID come back and apologise when they subsequently realised I had been correct and they had been overcharged thousands of £s and had finally put that right.

It was at that juncture that I realised that things wouldn't necessarily be run correctly, etc, in any such context.

When I'm more settled and have recovered some strength/energy/etc, then I am looking in a different direction as to possible voluntary work - ie environmental groups and/or helping out at a food bank. I shall bear in mind that all admin. type tasks may already have been "bagged" in any environmental type context and there may only be ones left that involve more physical strength than I feel capable of summoning at the moment (but hopefully will feel up to later on).

Right now - I'm still VERY VERY weary and tired and only tossing around future possibilities for "as and when" in my mind. At the moment sleep and slobbing in front of the telly for a "break" are about what I can summon up the "strength" for..:cool:

Ken68

I've had dealings recently with British Legion Charity (they help ex Forces) and there are 4 people doing one persons job at the regional office and the technical team are way over qualified.

blossomhill_2

Another thing I found helpful; not to eat carbs mid-day, as they caused me to feel drowsy and demotivated for the afternoon. Too easy to grab a piece of toast or a roll, then want to flob out, so I avoid, avoid, avoid.

The vol job I have settled into accepts that I arrived hoping to build up stamina as and when I could, and would need to pace myself; yesterday one of the other workers said to me that "trouble is, not everyone your age has your energy" which chuffed me to bits, as it's only been a few months

Also if I use a set of muscles and ache the next day, I use them again rather than rest them; they soon got used to the idea that they were needed

Even tho every day is effectively a weekend for me now, I LOVE Sundays, because I used to be filled with dread from about 3:30 onwards

I seem more able to shake off colds etc now, still had a couple but they don't last, I hope you will get there soon OP, building just a short walk round the block into your routine would help