Manners - are they changing?

daisiegg

lostinrates wrote: »

While I agree with most of those listed above I was taught that the true test of good manners was the to.erance of other people's lack of them. Unless a teacher, a parent or perhaps a very, very close friend I would not correct any poor manners.

I COMPLETY agree with this! I am shocked reading this thread to hear so many people describe how they would treat others that they deem to lack manners....you know, ignoring people who don't say please, commenting on people's table manners, etc. To me, THAT shows the biggest lack of manners and makes you no better than the person you are correcting!

cbrown372

daisiegg wrote: »

I COMPLETY agree with this! I am shocked reading this thread to hear so many people describe how they would treat others that they deem to lack manners....you know, ignoring people who don't say please, commenting on people's table manners, etc. To me, THAT shows the biggest lack of manners and makes you no better than the person you are correcting!

I so agree with you both! Yes I was brought up with soup spoons, napkin rings and even a set of fish knives and forks but am appalled at some of the bad manners and name calling in this thread.

Just eaten my tea, macaroni and cheese and ate it with a fork only in my right hand, so shoot me now!

spike7451

I always tilt my soup bowl away from me,something I leant as a child.

Byatt

My manners when I'm on my own and when I eat out/have people here are very different. I've even been known to use a teaspoon for my soup.:rotfl::eek:

I might add that I never criticised my ex for his awful manners, wouldn't dream of doing it except when bringing up/teaching my DD, as I have no real problem with "bad "manners, just a bad husband. :cool:

meritaten

I dont think anyone who has posted would comment on people using the 'wrong' hands for knives and forks - I automatically lay my OHs and my DDs place the 'wrong' way round.........OH is left handed and DD just finds it easier! I would however be displeased if they then ignored the knife and fork and ate with thier hands!
as for those rude people who barge into you or ignore your courtesies - why not point this out? perhaps it will help them think about manners a bit more?

Manners are not about an outdated set of 'rules' designed to keep people firmly in thier class! Good manners ensure an occasion where everyone can relax knowing if they follow the rules then they wont offend!

missrlr

Common courtesy of respecting people space and keeping ones bodily functions private is required.
So holding doors open is respecting their space, dropping them on someone may cause injury, so not done.
Fish forks not relevant, but soup spoons are vital the only efficient way to consume soup I bought some for use at work people now use these in preference to dessert spoons!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

daisiegg wrote: »

......I am shocked reading this thread to hear so many people describe how they would treat others that they deem to lack manners....you know, ignoring people who don't say please......

It's called behaviour modification through positive reinforcement. Rather than rewarding someone for ordering me to bring him a beer from the fridge or snapping 'NO' in response to 'would you like chips with your dinner?', a mild 'hmm?' is remarkably effective in reminding someone that they should speak to others with more respect, as they immediately get what they wish upon more acceptable behaviour.


It's so much less stressful than either allowing yourself to be spoken to like something that just crawled out from under the nearest rock or screeching furiously at the offending person.



++++++++++++



Mind you, I think there is definitely a case for those transparent leggings to be stamped with 'NOT FOR EXTERNAL WEAR' across the rear. They're fine with shorts, skirts or dresses, but please, please, if you can see your hand through them when you give them a tug in the shop, they are not designed to be the only thing on your bottom half.

And flesh coloured leggings, as per Primark's knitted ones a couple of years ago - Dear Lord, No, never, never, never - it makes the wearer look naked from a distance.




My mother heard about the Mitford thing as reported in some trashy novel. I rue the day she did, as she started pontificating over U and non-U for months afterwards. The irony was that my grandmother - her mother - was from a family that knew exactly what was and was not acceptable in the time - and couldn't care less, having rejected such bourgeoise notions way back in her youth.

meritaten

Soup spoons - old ones are great, they hold a good amount of soup - modern ones are so flattened out the soup's cold by the time it gets to your mouth! Look in Charity shops for old soup spoons is my advice!

Did anyone elses mum think it common to apply make up in public? mine did and I still nip to the ladies if I think I need to freshen makeup! wouldn't dream of applying lippy in public!

lmao - the only reason my mother ever opened her powder compact in public would be to check out what was happening behind her!!!!!!!!!!! apparently it was rude to turn around and look!

I did think it a bit of a contradiction in terms even as a child!

daska

I have to admit I got rid of my soup spoons a good few years ago so am obviously a frightful chav. However I frequently get comments on my old silver dessert spoons because unlike the modern flat things that masquerade as spoons they actually have a curve in the bowl LOL. How people eat soup with cheap modern spoons I have no idea, they only hold about half a tsp. Though actually, having said that, it occurs to me that there are probably soup spoons in the posh set hiding in the back of the sideboard.

[Deleted User]

I think my late Mum would have a fit if she saw how many folk are eating on-the-run in the street.We were never under any circumstances allowed to eat in the street not even sweets (not that there was much chance of that on rationing )We all had to sit at the table and eat together and certainly never read or do anthing else at the table I see folk today texting and even watching their Ipad at the table in cafes and wonder how they were dragged up.My mother and father were both very strict about manners both in and outside the house .You walked alongside tham when out you didn't interupt an adult you shook hands with your elders if they were not family when out and you called almost all adults by their surname "Mrs Smith.Jones" etc never ever by their first name, even neighbours.God help you if you were caught being rude to anyone I expect my grandchildren to be polite and ask to be excused from the table Rudenes and bad manners is just awful 'Courtesy costs nothing ' my Mum always said and 'politeness will get you a lot further than rudeness'. The worst thing I can think of in the street is youngsters spitting I just think its a dreadful habit, no doubt picked up as they see footballers doing it on the field Why ? I can't think of anything more disgusting