Manners - are they changing?

meritaten

debating another topic down in The Arms I strayed a bit and started remeniscing about my young days and the manners expected of us 'kids and young uns'!

for example - we werent allowed to eat in the street (a sweetie was permissible - a bag of chips wasnt!).

Table manners were taken seriously - my mum thought it common to have the sauce bottles on the table! Jam was decanted into a little dish, butter had its own china dish, no speaking with your mouth full and DONT put your elbows on the table (and in my case no reading at the table either!).

I am more relaxed about this - yet find I have to teach my grandkids these basic 'manners' - we call them 'princess manners' and the girls love to demonstrate them. Although I know darn well I taught them to thier dad - manners seem to have been abandoned!

This thread is not really about 'decline' in manners - things change, people evolve - its more about what do you find acceptable and unacceptable about the more relaxed way of dining etc today?
and of course your memories of the way things were 'done' in the old days! your stories are always fascinating!!!!

PS - It was OldMotherTucker who sent me off at a tangent!

Mrs_Veg_Plot

Table manners were important when I was a child (now 44) and I have taught the same ones to my children.
No elbows on the table, wait until everyone has their food before starting to eat, no speaking with food in your mouth, put your cutlery to the side of your plate when you have finished always ask to be excused from the table and in the last few years have added no mobile phones at the table.
I think good table manners are a basic thing to teach your children.

Fruball

I hate bad manners.

Went out for dinner this evening (chinese buffet) and saw a woman dip her finger into a sauce to see if she liked it... At least she had the decency to be mortified when I pulled her up on it!

My ex had the worst manners ever - how we were together for 8 years is a mystery to me... I once told him I would ask to be moved to another table (in a restaurant) if he didn't close his mouth when he was eating!!!

Can't stand...

Knife licking :eek:
Texting at the table or answering calls
Eating crumbs off a table (he did that at a posh business function)
Licking the side of your bowl because cream is running down it (in good company)
Slurping tea/coffee
Eating by bending your head down to plate level so your wrist doesn't have to leave the edge of the table
Shoving food in your mouth before you have swallowed what you already had
Belching and farting whilst others are eating (or anytime in front of others really!)

I have to stop there _pale_

Fruball

... and I am appalled by the amount of children I see out who cannot use a knife and fork properly... This is a real peeve of mine and I have to bite my lip not to say anything to the dumb parents who can't be bothered to take the time to show them

OldMotherTucker

Blame me but I was brought up 'old school'

Sit up
Eat up and
Shut up were the rules for children around our dinner table.


I guess it was a bit of 'rites of passage' - until you could contribute to the table - you were just lucky to be fed and if you had nothing intelligible to contribute then you were just an empty vessel . . .

Callie22

Fruball wrote: »

... and I am appalled by the amount of children I see out who cannot use a knife and fork properly... This is a real peeve of mine and I have to bite my lip not to say anything to the dumb parents who can't be bothered to take the time to show them

Both of my parents were chefs and I grew up in a restaurant, so they were REALLY strict about table manners and using cutlery properly. It still makes me cringe when I see people using a knife and fork like a pair of shovels, it just looks so awful ...

Captain_Bluebear

OP...You talk about eating in the street I totally agree, also sadly, I am a social smoker,but the idea of walking down the street whilst eating or smoking is totally against my nature.

meritaten

Callie22 wrote: »

Both of my parents were chefs and I grew up in a restaurant, so they were REALLY strict about table manners and using cutlery properly. It still makes me cringe when I see people using a knife and fork like a pair of shovels, it just looks so awful ...

or even worse - Just a fork! I actually finished with one boyfriend because of his table manners! he was a really nice person - but, he ate like a pig (sorry pigs - maligning you there). held his fork like a shovel and boy, did he shovel the food in.........he never swallowed one forkfull before shovelling another in....... and he would talk the whole time as well! he wanted to go for a meal one night and it suddenly struck me...if I stayed with this very nice guy.........I would have to watch him eat for the next 50odd years! I couldnt do it!

andygb

I reckon that 90% of people do not know what manners are.
How many "yummy mummys" can keep their children under control, stop them blocking pavements, stop the running riot in shops, stop them barging into people, make them apologise when they are wrong, do not give dirty looks to people going about their daily business, as if your daily tasks are more important.
Have a bit of consideration for other people.

meritaten

Fruball wrote: »

... and I am appalled by the amount of children I see out who cannot use a knife and fork properly... This is a real peeve of mine and I have to bite my lip not to say anything to the dumb parents who can't be bothered to take the time to show them

my grandchildren have been shown how to use a knife and fork - and when down my house they have to use thier 'princess manners'! I know they think nanny is funny - but, they will be grateful if ever they go out to eat at a restaurant (and the school have complimented their parents on the girls 'nice manners'!)

jeanniebeanie_2

Fruball wrote: »

... and I am appalled by the amount of children I see out who cannot use a knife and fork properly... This is a real peeve of mine

A real peeve of mine is the moulded school lunch tray that means a child is served all elements of a meal in an unappetising compartmentalised mess. Schools often complain that children are not taught the basics at home. Well, I can think of not a single home that would expect a child to to eat that way and it's absolutely not conducive to encouraging good table manners!