Manners - are they changing?

Byatt

Fruball wrote: »

I hate bad manners.

Went out for dinner this evening (chinese buffet) and saw a woman dip her finger into a sauce to see if she liked it... At least she had the decency to be mortified when I pulled her up on it!

My ex had the worst manners ever - how we were together for 8 years is a mystery to me... I once told him I would ask to be moved to another table (in a restaurant) if he didn't close his mouth when he was eating!!!

Can't stand...

Knife licking :eek:
Texting at the table or answering calls
Eating crumbs off a table (he did that at a posh business function)
Licking the side of your bowl because cream is running down it (in good company)
Slurping tea/coffee
Eating by bending your head down to plate level so your wrist doesn't have to leave the edge of the table
Shoving food in your mouth before you have swallowed what you already had
Belching and farting whilst others are eating (or anytime in front of others really!)

I have to stop there _pale_

Fruball, I think we had the same ex. :eek: The amount of times I was mortified are countless. And we were together almost 30 years. :o

Table manners were always important to me, so how we got together and stayed I really don't know. He would get up from the table in company, as soon as he had finished eating, and he was always first because he just hoovered his food up. :mad:

meritaten

andygb wrote: »

I reckon that 90% of people do not know what manners are.
How many "yummy mummys" can keep their children under control, stop them blocking pavements, stop the running riot in shops, stop them barging into people, make them apologise when they are wrong, do not give dirty looks to people going about their daily business, as if your daily tasks are more important.
Have a bit of consideration for other people.

I have never tolerated that from my own kids and I dont from the grandchildren! fair play, the grandkids are pretty good - its just I think that table manners are 'slipping'. My DIL has now instigated eating at the kitchen table (refurbished living room and she doesnt want it messed up with food being eaten in there). the girls are showing off thier princess manners and mealtimes are becoming something she is enjoying as a social occasion - rather than just getting nutrition in everyone!
and tbh - I think she has it right - mealtimes should be a social occasion and the purpose of manners is to ensure no-one is offended!

EssexGirl

It's not just table manners.
At work recently, a toddler threw up all over the floor and the mother just sat there. She didn't even offer to clear it up! I would have been mortified.

I gave her some cleaning equipment and gloves and politely asked her to clean up after her child. She made a half hearted attempt but got rid of the worst of it.

freyasmum

Fruball wrote: »

Eating by bending your head down to plate level so your wrist doesn't have to leave the edge of the table
Shoving food in your mouth before you have swallowed what you already had
Belching and farting whilst others are eating (or anytime in front of others really!)

I have to stop there _pale_

My ex did all three in very near that exact order.

I'm quite a slow eater, I like to enjoy what I'm eating and take my time whilst doing so. He, on the other hand, inhaled the lot pretty much as described above.

Then he sat belching in my face and expected me to keep eating. As if I could, the vile beast. His mother did the same, so it was easy to see where it'd come from... *rolleyes*

alun4

Observing can seriously spoil a meal!

meritaten

I absolutely hate seeing someone grip a fork in thier fist and shovel food in their mouth! There is a 'correct' way of holding a knife and fork! and its not just for show - it has a purpose!
I have even seen people holding a fork this way on tv ads! to me its disgusting! you may as well use a spoon! tho I wouldnt hold a spoon like that either!
arrrgh - I sound intolerant - but, I have seen such decline in table manners and am fed up of watching people dribble food out of their mouths while shovelling more in - talking with mouths full and spraying food all over the table and thier companions - using knives and forks incorrectly and not being able to cut up meat or veg and said meat and veg flying off the plates and even worse .........not using any cutlery, but fingers instead, to eat chips and beans!

esmf73

I hate bad manners. I try to instil good manners in my boys, but my eldest is autistic and needs constant reminding. Hopefully we will get there one day.

Skint_yet_Again

These are the things that annoy me the most with bad manners

1. eating with mouth open, chomping
2. eating with one elbow on the table using fork as a shovel
3. talking with mouth full
4. blowing nose at table/belching/farting
5. not holding doors open for people
6. not saying "excuse me" instead just shoving past
7. picking nose
8. men/boys who put their hands down the front of their trousers and re-arrange themselves
9. gulping drinks
10. not saying please and thank you

Eenymeeny

'Eating in the street' I still couldn't do this and have been known to dart into a back lane if I've had to eat something. (Out all day without any lunch, still feel uncomfortable eating alone in a restaurant!) Maybe this is one of the reasons that people are getting bigger? We had to wait until we got home and only ate at proper meal times.
My grandmother had been in service and passed on all of the niceties to my mother. We still use napkins, soup spoons, side plates and fruit spoons. They were introduced for a reason, they just work better! I had to explain to my OH recently that putting your cutlery together when you've finished a meal signals that your plate can be removed. (Just waiting for a parlour maid who will perform such a task!)
I always knew that my son would be comfortable 'eating out' as he already knew the ground rules. One less thing to worry about in tense situation!
Good thread, thanks

flutterbyuk25

I work with teens/young adults and take groups of 15 away for 3 night residential trips, during these trips the young people cook dinner for everyone. So each night one group cooks, one lays table/clears table, and other washes up.

My 'rules' for the table include:

- no hats
- no mobiles
- wait til everyone has food before eating/has finished before getting up
- food to be shared equally (when on serving plates on table etc)
- manners

I'm always gobsmacked by the amount of arguements I get about them having to remove their hats (oddly most accept the no mobile rule). One boy went without dinner for the 3 nights as he wouldn't remove his hat! He didn't starve as he had a big bag of junk food in his room.

What also amazes me is how greedy some are! No consideration for others, especially when there are leftovers.

However there are times when I'm pleasantly surprised by how nice they can be :rotfl: