The Over 50K debt Club - Join Here!!

hypno06

How did we get here? Hmm

Well, bought a house after having a full structural survey.

3 weeks later discovered it was falling down.

Tried to sue surveyor, got nowhere

Couldn't get additional mortgage to fund re-build work because had already been given 95% to buy in the first place and house now worthless following discovery of major structural work.

Borrowed money on loans and credit cards to do work.

Sold house when complete because couldn't bear living there but didn't make enough to clear the debts.

That was 4 years ago......

hypno06

shamu95 wrote: »

Failure is not an option and i shall be positive

And so say all of us!!

Hope78

Indulgence that's how I got here;

CARS - my weakness (one of many) every 2 years I had to upgrade. They were always more expensive. I've learnt my lesson this time as what I'm paying would be most of mortgage payment.

FASHION/JEWELLERY etc - Not expensive designer stuff just had to the same thing in every colour. Also had to have a new outfit everytime I went out.

GIFTS - Spending way too much on other people at birthday and Xmas etc. None of it was budgeted of course.

HOLIDAYS/WEEKENDS AWAY - At one point I went away a girly weekend almost once every 6 weeks. Felt I had to keep up took me a while to realise that my 'friend' wasn't actually paying these things herself her dad's a millionarie and so her house, car etc are bought by daddy.

SOCIALISING - Ate out three/four times a week with friends or parents.

THEATRE/CONCERTS - Not that I went to loads but I always offered to buy them then when I got the money I frittered it away instead of paying using it as extra towards CC bill.

HIDING MY DEBT - The nail in the coffin was even when I starting realising things were getting out of ahnd I was too ashamed to admit I couldn't afford to do things so I'd put them on my CCs. A vicours circle eh?

lonely_2

Are you sure this thread isn't full of clones!

Hope78 wrote: »

Indulgence that's how I got here;
FASHION/JEWELLERY etc - Not expensive designer stuff just had to the same thing in every colour. Also had to have a new outfit everytime I went out.God, I know this feeling so well! When I find something that fits me I am so amazed that I need to buy several versions of it - just on the off chance I never find another item of clothing to fit me again:rolleyes:

GIFTS - Spending way too much on other people at birthday and Xmas etc. None of it was budgeted of course.I used to get a real buzz out of giving presents - so much so that I would buy birthday gifts two or three months in advance!!

HOLIDAYS/WEEKENDS AWAY - At one point I went away a girly weekend almost once every 6 weeks. Felt I had to keep up took me a while to realise that my 'friend' wasn't actually paying these things herself her dad's a millionarie and so her house, car etc are bought by daddy.Everyone has felt that need to keep up - it isn't a competitive thing, it's just that you don't want to be the one missing out on all the fun! I'm at that age when everyone I know is getting married and I have so many hen "weekends" to go to, if I don't budget I'm going to be in real trouble. So glad I've already had my LBM

SOCIALISING - Ate out three/four times a week with friends or parents.Yep, know this one well too. Especially after a long day at work when you are too tired to cook and feel that you "deserve" a night out

HIDING MY DEBT - The nail in the coffin was even when I starting realising things were getting out of ahnd I was too ashamed to admit I couldn't afford to do things so I'd put them on my CCs. A vicours circle eh?]Still doing this one unfortunately. But at least I'm not hiding away from it myself - that's the important thing

doitmyself

Well not all clones, I mean there are similarities between some of us here it seems, but pretty sure I haven't spent quite as much on shoes and handbags as you girlies. That's not to say I haven't bought the odd handbag of course, inc. an outrageously expensive one in Vegas not so long ago. Wish I'd kept it considering where it is now (Sweden). And in fact that's where a fair amount of my (my creditors) dosh has ended up, if you get my drift...

It actually started years ago though I think. It's funny, went to a pretty decent grammar school but am just not academic at all. Left at 16 to go f/t at Tesco where I had already been working p/t for over a year. First one out of everyone to have a car, and to be able to afford to buy drinks etc. which I duly did.
Stacked the car of course into a lamp post, write off, 3rd party, ended up paying for a new car, and the lamp post!
There are a hundred other stories like that but I wouldn't bore anyone here with them.

At the moment it's just me and I'm liking it! Not crazy about the debt situation of course but then again I'm not one for self-deprivation and so not unduly concerned about it either. Got a nice flat, great job and very happy about that.

I wouldn't do a DMP, well, not so long as the current (or better) situation exists. It's not some kind of a moral 'it's my debt and I'll pay it' type thing, although that is true, and it's not that I don't do what I can to reduce my debt, it's more to do with not particularly liking too much interference or having people do things for me that I can do myself, hence the ID.

Same with the SOA thing, not criticising it but if anyone said to me post up your SOA so we can see all your income/outgoing I'd tell them to **** off and mind their own business!

That's my bit for tonite anyway...

daysieblue

I'm doing a DIY DMP (with DH) which we've been doing for two years now. I think the time may come soon to sit down and work it all out again, as we have had various changes to our Is & Es, which haven't yet been factored in. I'm kind of dreading it because I'm sure it's going to look worse

I'm fighting a constant battle with DH who seems to think that the fact we have a DMP in place means that if we do manage to save any money anywhere then it's essentially free money for him to spend. Although I have had a secondary LBM signing up to this site, I think even his original LBM is more of an annoying flickering fluorescent, rather than a full beam enlightenment! :rolleyes:

db xx

Mindy_2

My story .....

Started when I was 18 I decided to go to America on a holiday called TrekAmerica - 6 weeks of travelling round in a group in a minibus and camping at night, in spite of working during day and doing pub work 4 nights a week and working in cafe at bottom of Box Hill 3 nights a week (finishing at 2 am and still getting to work for 9 the same morning!) I didn't have enough money and ended up funding my spending for the last three weeks on cc and, horror of all horrors, using said cc to withdraw money!

Got home with no job (chucked them all in before I left) and maxed out cc, couldn't get another one - my parents bailed me out but I had to repay them. I got a job in London, my salary was paid into my Dad's bank account, he paid my season ticket for the train and gave me £7 a week spending money. Did I learn from that, did I heck.

Eventually moved out, lived in rented accommodation, working in London regularly spent more than I made. Always struggled to get rent money together. Met my now DH and one of the first things he did was to clear my debts, he had his own company and had more money than was good for anyone.

We got married and held it together for first few years, overpaid on our mortgage and got it down from £54,000 to £30,000 in 6 years. Then we moved to current house, tripled mortgage to £90,000 and I started part-time work as we had our son by then. Carried on spending at the same rate, was made redundant 5 years later, but DH was now contracting and money was excellent - spending went through the roof, had computers, cars, holidays - thought nothing of going to Florida and spending 6K on holiday for the 3 of us for 2 weeks - must have been living on gold dust. Put loads of stuff on credit cards, after all we had a good income and could pay them back any time - really the writing was on the wall, why were we putting on cc if we could pay back at any time, of course we couldn't pay back at all which was why they were there in the first place!!!

The Inland Revenue rules for self-employed contractors changed and DH's salary dropped by half, we carried on exactly as we had before, I still wasn't working and we still spent spent spent. I realised about 4 years ago that we were in danger of running out of space on cc's for spending, but rather inconveniently broke my ankle and so brushed the whole matter under the carpet.

However by the next year I had started to apply for jobs, one of which I duly got - was offered it on the day they took all the metalwork out of my ankle. Sigh of relief, we wouldn't have to cut back now - carried on spending.

Along the way we have re-mortgaged twice, used the money to pay off some cards, but carried on spending and - what a surprise - they were back up to where they were in no time. Now we have a £150k mortgage which we are only paying interest on while we clear the cards, then once clear we will have nearly £2k a month to throw at mortgage for the following 7 years which is all we will have left on it.

Our life is compounded that our son is at private school, he started in year 3 when the fees were £1,000 a term, they have gone up steadily and we now pay £3,700 a term!!! Just got the fees for next school year and they have gone up 8.5%, at least next year will be his last year - how people who have 2 or 3 kids at the school manage I have no idea.

I have now made mega savings wherever I can, but my DH is resisting and won't cut back on things that he sees as a necessity - Sky, computer magazines, nice food at home - he says that we don't go out much and he needs these to get by in life.

So we still have nice food but I get it from Lidl :rotfl:

Scottishmummy

daysieblue wrote: »

I'm doing a DIY DMP (with DH) which we've been doing for two years now. I think the time may come soon to sit down and work it all out again, as we have had various changes to our Is & Es, which haven't yet been factored in. I'm kind of dreading it because I'm sure it's going to look worse

I'm fighting a constant battle with DH who seems to think that the fact we have a DMP in place means that if we do manage to save any money anywhere then it's essentially free money for him to spend. Although I have had a secondary LBM signing up to this site, I think even his original LBM is more of an annoying flickering fluorescent, rather than a full beam enlightenment! :rolleyes:

db xx

My DH is a bit like this. We haven't really budgetted our shopping before as being self-employed his earnings vary so what we reported through CCCS is a worst case scenario, which means we usually actually have a bit more to spend. However he will just go and spend it!!! Trying to do a proper menu plan now and only buying what we really need but last week with DS home during the day I asked him to get a packet of biscuits - he came home with 6! He'll also buy other things he thinks will come in 'useful'. At least he has started shopping in Lidls.

Our downfall was he was made redundant but we continued to spend the way we had been. He then became self-employed which doesn't earn that much - his 05-06 tax return was for £5500!!! We then bought bigger house so bigger mortgage, which also needed a lot of work on it. I then became pregnant with 2nd child and was made redundant while on maternity leave.

We have never been one for expensive things - only ever had 2 foreign holidays in my life and one of them was paid for by someone else - only needed spending money. Usually go camping. Our biggest outlay after the usual expenses is probably petrol to visit friends and family. Live 3 hours away from family, mum doesn't drive and dad always working so it is always me that has to visit. Best friend lives an hour away and she doesn't drive. On a good week £30 fuel will last the week. On a bad week it will last 2 days. Have only visited family once so far this year and that was for a funeral and have cut down on the times I visit my friend. Saw her last week and told her it was her turn to visit me next so hopefully she'll take the hint.

SortingIt_2

Hello there

I am up for joining and have over 50k of debt following realisation that I had to start doing something a couple of months ago. Does anyone find it all overwhelming though?
I am trying hard to not look at it as a whole and tackle debts in small doses as over 50k just seems never ending nightmare!!

shamu95

The advice everyone keeps saying is 'baby steps' that is exactly what i do. if i woke up and actually thought of 50k+ i would fail everything. Pick one debt the highest apr and throw everything at it- quicker sense of achievement. i set myself a small goal everyweek and aim to stay positive and these threads help so much