The Over 50K debt Club - Join Here!!

lonely_2

Good morning everyone. I'm so glad I'm not alone.

Waterman, you may want to post your SOA in a new thread, you'll get more responses as it will probably get lost in this one. I hope you get the help you need.

As for everyone else, OK next question - how did you get here?

daysieblue

Hi Lonely

Can I join too

db xx

daysieblue

lonely wrote: »

As for everyone else, OK next question - how did you get here?

CARS (OH is obsessed with them) - we've had 12 in 10 years! Every time we changed it cost that little bit more

BOOKS - Love to read, and am only just coming to terms with libraries.

COMPUTERS - DH likes his boys toys and we've had almost every consul ever released, always on some sort of interest free thing that ended up getting absorbed into credit cards, then consolidations, then mortgages.

CHILDREN - we never had much as children ourselves, so we wanted to be able to give our kids the things we never had. Realise now it's because our parents were more sensible with their money!!!

How does that compare to other people?

db xx

lonely_2

This is the first time I've been so honest about what got me into this situation, and it makes for pityful reading....Please note I have seen the error of my ways and I am changing!

FLAT - spent lots doing up our first flat in London, got carried away

WEDDING - way too much on this (even though parents helped)

FOOD - Eating out was (and maybe will always be) my downfall

FASHION - Shoes, bags, clothes...what can I say, I was young and stupid

HOLIDAYS - The sun does funny things to my brain

DEPRESSION - Spending was an addiction, and the more debt I got into, the more I spent to feel better

GENEROSITY - Extravagant gifts for OH, rounds I couldn't afford, always offering to pay for stuff

flis21

Hi All,

Can I join? My OH and I have just over £50k in debt (not including my student loan!) and had our lightbulb moment yesterday. I have just got back from the post office, posting letters to all our creditors explaining the position and asking for interest to be frozen etc. to give us a chance to start paying this off.

I have worked out that at the rate we can afford at the minute it will take about 6-7 years to pay all this off, but I really want to do it. It is a scary thought tho!

It is nice to talk to people in the same sort of position and realise we are not alone.

olivetrees

How did I get here - thats a very good question - with a stupidly long story (pull up a chair). Having given it a lot of thought - the fact is that my life has been a financial disaster from day one - every single decision I make is wrong when it comes to money.

Back in my early 20's my boyfriend at the time was made homeless so he came to live with me and my parents. This did not work out so we decided to move out.

Normal people rent - but not me oh no - I decided to buy. My OH wasn't creditworthy so everything was in my name. It didn't work out and believe it or not - I moved out and rented with friends!!! And left him in my house!

So this was the downward spiral as I could not afford Mortgage and rent so used credit cards to make up a shortfall. When I came to my senses and sold the house - it got nasty. My ex stalked me and took EVERYTHING out of the house. Including the light switches and the flooring from the loft!!

So after the house was sold I had a little bit of money left over - I sold just before house prices went mad - typical!

Did I pay off my credit cards - no - I left my job and went to South America for a year with one of my flatmates (now my husband!)

I had no savings so lived off credit until we returned home. Then 2 years later we were planning our wedding - more expense. I also did a post grad diploma -more expense.

Somewhere in all of this it seemed a good idea to relocate so we bought another property before selling our existing house. The job fell though so we rented out the other house but it was still costing us £300 a month. It was grade 2 listed and we hadn't considered the implications of that

We sold it three years later for only £2500 more than we bought it for so got into another £5000 worth of debt paying fees!!!

Then my daughter turned up followed by my son 18 months later.

We moved to a bigger house in October 2006 - I STILL had no clue that we were living beyond our means. It was only when I took a part time job and found out the horrendous cost of child care that I decided to do my own SOA.

I realised then that our outgoings were just under £1000 a month more than our income - and didn't stop crying for about three days!

So here I am - and am VERY grateful for this site - more than I can say

flis21

lonely wrote: »

This is the first time I've been so honest about what got me into this situation, and it makes for pityful reading....Please note I have seen the error of my ways and I am changing!

FLAT - spent lots doing up our first flat in London, got carried away

WEDDING - way too much on this (even though parents helped)

FOOD - Eating out was (and maybe will always be) my downfall

FASHION - Shoes, bags, clothes...what can I say, I was young and stupid

HOLIDAYS - The sun does funny things to my brain

DEPRESSION - Spending was an addiction, and the more debt I got into, the more I spent to feel better

GENEROSITY - Extravagant gifts for OH, rounds I couldn't afford, always offering to pay for stuff

That is so wierd, it could have been me talking!!

I first started getting into debt when I was a student, then OH and I moved in together and furnished the flat. Then we got married and whilst my parents paid for quite a bit, we also spent way more than we should have. Also had a ridiculously expensive honeymoon (which was fantsatic tho!!).

Also I used to spend a lot on clothes, handbags, shoes, jewellery. We went on a couple of holidays and weekends away and things that were quite expensive and it was compounded as I always had to have new clothes before we went etc. And used to buy ridiculous things as souvenirs while we were there!

I also suffer from depression and often used to find myself spending money just to cheer myself up. When I got really bad and didn't want to leave the house I would spend the money on the internet instead, our postman got fed up of all the parcels I used to have delivered regularly.

Also used to go mad at christmas / birthdays / mothers/fathers day etc. Buy ridiculously expensive things that we really couldn't afford.

My Oh's debt also comes from sitting in pubs for hours and hours on end and buying computer stuff. He has to have the latest games consoles and games and buy new bits for our main computer and then he wanted a laptop etc. and it goes on.

The situation then got compounded when my depression got really bad and I had to give up my well paid, but stressful, job. We started using credit to live on and pay our bills with and the situation spiralled out of control. I am now working again, but on a much lower salary.

So, we were stupid really. Wish I could go back to myself 6 years ago and say what the hell are you doing and do you realise the impact this will have on your future. But anyway. It's done now and no amount of regret can change the situation. Just have to look forward and think as positively as possible.

shamu95

hi, count me in. Although my debts on sig dont total £50k i have a 36k secured loan. so am more like 60k and i will manage it by myself although am now seriously considering a dmp. it s no longer getting me down

lonely_2

Well done Shamu - have you talked to anyone yet? You are under no obligation after the call, it will just put your mind at rest....

shamu95

i shall make the call next week when i have no children to intterupt me. After my pitiful feeling sorry for myself last week i have got back on track! Got an offer for charges from Halifax today which has really cheered me up as they obv haven't realised that i am in the court process and they have till sat! Have sorted for carboot and made a great £1.30 from ebay this week.
I cant thank you enough for your help and support.
Also rang up and sorted out my mobile phonebill and will now be £35 a month for everything inc internet. Failure is not an option and i shall be positive