where has my happy boy gone?

Dunroamin

Do you think that he and his friend might have been experimenting sexually when they were watching !!!!!! together? Have you discussed this sort of thing with him?

pukkamum

Dunroamin wrote: »

Do you think that he and his friend might have been experimenting sexually when they were watching !!!!!! together? Have you discussed this sort of thing with him?

OMG now you are bringing up a whole new set of questions!

I think not to be honest as he said the boys nan came in and they quickly shut it down!

Dad did however, explain that feelings between 2 men 2 women or vice versa were completely normal.

pukkamum

Raksha wrote: »

I've got 3 boys - the youngest is now 15.

I think the clue is ' dad told him all about masturbation' - when I've done the 'that chat' I've tried to answer their questions and aim it at their age rather than tell them all about it in one fell swoop. Heavens, if my Mum had told me 'all about it' at 11 I'd have curled up and died!

By 'telling him all about it' i meant DH just asked him what he wanted to know, what he had heard about and was unsure as to the meaning of etc and explained these fully, believe me DH was reluctant enough without bringing up things he hadn't even asked about!

Dunroamin

pukkamum wrote: »

OMG now you are bringing up a whole new set of questions!

I think not to be honest as he said the boys nan came in and they quickly shut it down!

Dad did however, explain that feelings between 2 men 2 women or vice versa were completely normal.

Many boys experiment with with others at age and are very afraid that it means they are gay when really they're only experimenting.

DKLS

19lottie82 wrote: »

I'd be speaking to his friends parents to find out why they were able to look @ p0rn under their roof - I'd be suggesting a good parental control programme

I wouldnt rely on parental control programmes, my nephew has cracked everyone his mum has put on for him.
He showed me how he did it last weekend, after I gave him a lesson in coding, as he has an idea for his own app.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If he's really struggling, a lot of councils have details of informal support/counselling agencies where kids from about 10 upwards can go - called things like Talk To Us, Drop-in, Off The Record, that kind of thing.

There he can talk without worrying about your reactions. And it's outside CAMHS (although if he's really struggling and appears depressed, there's nothing wrong with asking if he wants to come to the doctor's and see if there's something they can help with to help him feel better).

Bamama

Hi. I don't have much experience with teenage boys, but I've not long been a teenager myself. It sounds to me like there maybe some peer pressure going on.

I would have been mortified if my parents had tried to give me "the talk". Luckily for me they were too busy with their own problems at the time. I'm glad he feels that he can talk to you. The only suggestion I can make is to remind him that he doesn't have to do things just because the other boys are. Don't make it sound like his friends are bad but perhaps he could hang out with the ones he feels comfortable with more.

coinxoperated

19lottie82 wrote: »

I'd be speaking to his friends parents to find out why they were able to look @ p0rn under their roof - I'd be suggesting a good parental control programme

Blocking him from viewing it is just delaying the inevitable. Maybe dealing with it is a better approach rather than trying to wrap him in cotton wool.

I second the suggestion of getting together some information books - there are some humorous ones too for his sort of age range that do talk about all the different feelings and physical changes of puberty. As long as you have an open attitude to sex and discussions about sex and relationships, he will be likely to come to you once he has calmed himself down.

I remember getting my first period and crying for a week because I didn't want to grow up!

WantToBeSE

coinxoperated wrote: »

Blocking him from viewing it is just delaying the inevitable. Maybe dealing with it is a better approach rather than trying to wrap him in cotton wool.

I second the suggestion of getting together some information books - there are some humorous ones too for his sort of age range that do talk about all the different feelings and physical changes of puberty. As long as you have an open attitude to sex and discussions about sex and relationships, he will be likely to come to you once he has calmed himself down.

I remember getting my first period and crying for a week because I didn't want to grow up!

Oh God, that bring back a memory for me.
My family have always been very open about sex etc, and i was aware of periods years before mine actually started.
So, the day mine started it was a hot summer day, all the windows and front door was open....and i was in the bathroom. I shouted down the stairs, in the loudest voice known to mankind "Muuuuum, i've started my period"....the whole neighbourhood heard! I was so embarassed!! But not as embarassed as i was when i came downstairs to find the local vicar and book club in the front room..oh the horror!

coinxoperated

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Oh God, that bring back a memory for me.
My family have always been very open about sex etc, and i was aware of periods years before mine actually started.
So, the day mine started it was a hot summer day, all the windows and front door was open....and i was in the bathroom. I shouted down the stairs, in the loudest voice known to mankind "Muuuuum, i've started my period"....the whole neighbourhood heard! I was so embarassed!! But not as embarassed as i was when i came downstairs to find the local vicar and book club in the front room..oh the horror!

Haha! I ran to the top of the stairs and shouted 'muuuuuum' and she came running up armed with about 30 sanitary towels!!

I still sobbed for days! Because I was the only one in my house having a period too (mum had hysterectomy), I was always so embarrassed that everyone would know!

Saying that, I'm currently on my period, and I still feel like crying for a week until its over ^___^!