Friend weirdness

moneypuddle

Yeah as long as your housemates are happy to have a cat around, I don't see why you shouldn't have him/her with you. You might need to expect some opposition though - I would be opposed to having a cat around, and wouldn't be happy to have one sharing my space

asparagus1968

hi, when you popped round,and it looked like no-one was in, did you leave the catfood? or put a note through the letterbox?

Saturnalia

I'm leery about leaving cat food on the doorstep, as there's nowhere to put it out of view of the street and I'm worried it will get stolen.

I've walked over twice today but still no luck. I haven't left a note as I'm not sure what to say in it, I'm going to have a good think and put pen to paper tonight. At least I know that way she'll have got my message.

I was talking earlier with one of my housemates about this and he asked unprompted if she had depression and retreated from people, or anything like that? As mentioned earlier, she is diagnosed with depression and has had some bad episodes with it, so now I am really starting to panic that all isn't well because this is such an odd situation & odd behaviour for her.

I'm friends with our old neighbour and thought about knocking her door, saying I couldn't get hold of LL and had she gone away (neighbour feeds the cats so would know) and I have a number for one of her close friends who is also her colleague, who again would be able to say if he hadn't seen her lately... but I feel strange about breaking her confidence by speaking to these people, or causing a panic with no need for one. But what else can I do really apart from keeping trying to call and knocking at her house? I'm quite worried by now.

January20

I think you are not "forward" enough in this situation (and this is not a go at you)

Phoning LL once a week is not much. I would have been phoning her every day until I got what I wanted ie news of the cat, her and dropping food off, but then I'm a bit of a dog with a bone when I want things achieved. Equally you should have left a reply on FB, telling her you had tried to get in touch with, showing her you were there, reading. Did you leave messages when you phoned her?

As for the neighbours, why not knock on their door? You could just say that you wanted to visit and did they know where she is? No need to say anything else as if they are in the habit of feeding the cats they might know if she is away on holiday for instance. You don't need to break any confidence! You just need to want to get in touch with her badly enough!

richardvc

You live two minutes away.........

and you haven't just gone round on-spec ? Shame....

Mind you I wouldn't have put something on facebook I would have called you up so she sounds as bad.....

Get round there and sort it out !!!

Saturnalia

Still no joy in trying to make contact.

On the other hand, so far four of my housemates are up for having a house cat! I haven't seen the other three to talk to them about it yet.

(How the heck do I get the cat back is the next issue though.)

Fire_Fox

Please stop making excuses. How many times have you been over and knocked on the door in two months, cat food in hand? So the food gets stolen if you leave it on the doorstep, at least you tried. Or leave the food with the neighbour and tell the friend by Facebook AND text you have done this. Or post her a cheque for the value of not only the food but the flea and worm treatment it needs.

Take your poor cat and have it properly rehomed by a rescue or purchase a couple of Feliway diffusers, some Zylkene and toys and do slow introductions at your house. I don't honestly understand why you took the poor cat on if you didn't have a long term home of your own or a back up plan for if circumstances changed. Cats live for twenty years!

sassyblue

*max* wrote: »

I was all for being in your camp, having seen your other threads. But then, I would never leave my cat with someone I don't trust (not even for a couple of days, nevermind leaving her behind completely).
You're saying you're the one who did the "practical stuff" for those cats, and she never did it, even though other people were counting on her. You basically make her sound irresponsible, verging on animal neglect - you were the one who did everything for those pets.

Yet, you left your cat with her. Permanently, since you moved out and haven't been there for two months, despite living 2 mins away.

^^^^ This ^^^^

Can't you get round the back of the house to leave the food? You know she's odd about answering the door so l would have texted her in advance saying i'll be bringing the food at X o'clock ( a time you know she'll be there) then it's upto her to make sure she is in or contact you with another time.

As for FB, she didn't seem to mind rubbishing you publically so l'd have left a message for her 'You've ignored all my calls thus far so l'll be putting a cheque for the food through your door later, l'll be cancelling the broadband and it's payment too so make sure you get your own account up and running'.

Are you the sort of person who needs a response all the time? That can be draining. I had a friend like that and distanced myself before, for instance, if she had to drop something off - even like a book she'd borrowed that could be put in the postbox - l'd get a text or two trying to arrange a time, but l work and have a young family, and l found it hard to keep up with her demands. You see, she couldn't just get on with things she had to give me a job to get my own book back!

Saturnalia

There's no access to the back of the house, still no call, e-mail, anything, so I'm going to put cash in an envelope for 3 months' food through her door today. Along with a note telling her what date the BB will finish.

I don't think I'm unreasonably demanding but if I want to go and visit someone I'll call or text first and ask them "let me know when you're free". I don't expect them to answer that day if they're a busy person, but at some point in the next few days is reasonable. How long does it take to send a text and say "busy for next couple of weeks, call you when I'm free"?

Artytarty

So are you no longer trying to get your back to live with you?
Sounds like she is rubbishing you so she feels better about just keeping him to herself. That way she looks like she has "rescued" it from you.