Friend weirdness

Extemporaneous

So let me get this straight: You decided to 'own' a cute kitten, but twelve months later you are happy to leave it with someone else because it would be too much hassle to take it with you. And you said you would pay for the cat food, but didn't, but you also forgot to cancel a broadband subscription, so that makes up for walking out on the cat and not buying the food...

And you left this cat with a landlady whom you call a 'friend', but you are happy to badmouth her on this forum, apparently suggesting mental health problems?(gee, that sounds friendly!)

Now you are suggesting that the landlady/'friend' doesn't look after the cats, she often forgot to see to her own, or others, or is often not even there at the weekends.

But hey, that's ok, because there are neighbours who also have cats, and if your landlady doesn't feed your cat, one of them will.....

Words fail me.

"I honestly don't know what I'm doing to upset people so much and I just wish they would tell me"

I did tell you. You didn't listen.

And I stand by my warning about responsible pet ownership.

izzzzythedog

easy peasy this one

she wants the cat but nothing to do with you , im guessing you nause the hell out of people ,,but still the problem in hand , the cat

write a cheque for a years worth of cat food , add 10% on top for the just in cases and post it through her door , after this get the boradband sorted and have nothing to do with her , its clear shes not interested so why keep scratching at the scab ? she wants the cat then fine ,,, its hers ,,, there are plenty of others needing a home when your better sorted in the future

it is not a given your friends for ever , some just turn off on you , its called life and getting older , it doesnt mean your a bad person or the other person is , its just life

flower_72

Do people read the OP and subsequent posts before posting?
Mind you, it makes for entertaining reading :rotfl:

OP, your ex-landlady clearly has some issues of her own to deal with. Personally, I would just send her a text saying that internet connection will be cut on x day of x month and that you will drop a bag of cat food on her door step monthly.
And that's that. No need to try and meet up or discuss anything with her. If she wants to see you, she'll have to contact you.
Other option, tell her that you want your cat back and will come round her house on such a day at such a time. But then you will have to wait for her to get back to you and end up in the same position as you are now.
In any case, good luck!

Saturnalia

Extemporaneous wrote: »

So let me get this straight: You decided to 'own' a cute kitten, but twelve months later you are happy to leave it with someone else because it would be too much hassle to take it with you. And you said you would pay for the cat food, but didn't, but you also forgot to cancel a broadband subscription, so that makes up for walking out on the cat and not buying the food...

And you left this cat with a landlady whom you call a 'friend', but you are happy to badmouth her on this forum, apparently suggesting mental health problems?(gee, that sounds friendly!)

Now you are suggesting that the landlady/'friend' doesn't look after the cats, she often forgot to see to her own, or others, or is often not even there at the weekends.

But hey, that's ok, because there are neighbours who also have cats, and if your landlady doesn't feed your cat, one of them will.....

Words fail me.

"I honestly don't know what I'm doing to upset people so much and I just wish they would tell me"

I did tell you. You didn't listen.

And I stand by my warning about responsible pet ownership.

Hi R, nice to see you on here!

*max*

Saturnalia wrote: »

Well she definitely loves the cats and gives them lots of affection, but it was always me who got out of bed to feed them and did the practical stuff. In fact she'd volunteer to go in next door to feed the neighbours' cats while they were away, but I'd always get saddled with it instead.

I hope that now if the boyf has moved in that she's home more. Although if not, most houses on the street had cats and the cats came in and out of each other's homes all the time, so the cats will be getting fed at least.

I was all for being in your camp, having seen your other threads. But then, I would never leave my cat with someone I don't trust (not even for a couple of days, nevermind leaving her behind completely).
You're saying you're the one who did the "practical stuff" for those cats, and she never did it, even though other people were counting on her. You basically make her sound irresponsible, verging on animal neglect - you were the one who did everything for those pets.

Yet, you left your cat with her. Permanently, since you moved out and haven't been there for two months, despite living 2 mins away.

Saturnalia

She's had cats for about 30 years, why wouldn't I trust her? I think she was just lazy with the morning feeds etc, while someone else was there who could & would pick up the slack after her. Same as stuff like housework and anything else involving organisation, I did more than my fair share of it, but until reading your post I didn't doubt now she and the boyfriend are both there, they'll sort it.

When I went to my parents' for a few days she'd look after my cat as well as her own and the 4 were always healthy, fed and fine when I got back - and I'd do the same for her when she went away. So that's what I'm basing the trust on, that she has done it all fine in the past.

But it's only now after reading this that I'm starting to wonder what the hell is happening in that house that I'm not being allowed in to see? Why aren't I being allowed to see the cat if everything is ok?

Saturnalia

Ok. If I can get my cat and bring her here, will she settle in and be ok here, bearing in mind:

She has 2 people in the house, this one has 8
She has 3 other cats (including her mum and brother) there, here she's on her own
The street she's in now has dozens of cats, I haven't seen one on this road
(But will having more people fussing over her make up for the lack of other cats?)
She has unlimited access to the garden now, whereas here there is no flap and nowhere to put one in. So she would get a few hours in the garden of an evening when I get in from work - is that going to be enough?
She'll be cooped up in the living room and kitchen while I'm at work - is that fair?

I definitely want her here, but is it going to be the best thing FOR HER?

Tuesday_Tenor

If you're sharing with 7 other people you need to ask whether THEY want a pet.

Someone may be allergic to cats, others may just not want a litter tray ariound, which would be essential if she can't get out whenever she wants.

I'm a bit shocked that it's all about the cat and no thought of your housemates. You really can't just impose a cat on them ...!

Have enjoyed your other posts, tho' never posted. Well done on sorting your life out. You do seem to be making a big deal out of this current matter, though. As a 'friendship' this seems to have dwindled to nothing; seems to be her issues, not yours, so don't worry about it. Get the old internet and regular cat food sorted, and move on!

notakid

Saturnalia wrote: »

Ok. If I can get my cat and bring her here, will she settle in and be ok here, bearing in mind:

She has 2 people in the house, this one has 8
She has 3 other cats (including her mum and brother) there, here she's on her own
The street she's in now has dozens of cats, I haven't seen one on this road
(But will having more people fussing over her make up for the lack of other cats?)
She has unlimited access to the garden now, whereas here there is no flap and nowhere to put one in. So she would get a few hours in the garden of an evening when I get in from work - is that going to be enough?
She'll be cooped up in the living room and kitchen while I'm at work - is that fair?

I definitely want her here, but is it going to be the best thing FOR HER?

Cats will be fussed by anyone normally. The amount of warm laps to sit on is only a bonus.

Cats aren't pack animals so it probably isn't really a issue about being removed from the other cats. She wouldn't like the neighbours cats anyhow because they are extremely territorial.

Cats care about being warm and fed, an evening in the garden sounds ideal. A cat shouldn't be out all day anyway.

Your cat doesn't care where it sleeps and lives as long as it is treated right.

Honestly I don't see any problems. You are overthinking matters.

Edit My post is on the premise that your flatmates are happy with the idea.

Saturnalia

Tuesday_Tenor wrote: »

If you're sharing with 7 other people you need to ask whether THEY want a pet.

Someone may be allergic to cats, others may just not want a litter tray ariound, which would be essential if she can't get out whenever she wants.

I'm a bit shocked that it's all about the cat and no thought of your housemates. You really can't just impose a cat on them ...!

Steady now! I totally agree with you. I guessed that discussion with the rest of the housemates was such an obvious point it would go without me typing it.