The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012

lally82

Oh local surestart centres are great. Lovely people work there and they have good groups including baby massage, dad groups, therapy, breastfeeding. As well as putting you in touch with someone to look into what benefits you are entitled to and how to manage your money. You dont need to go to the classes religiously and I didnt bother until my son was around four months old. He loves it now and although I go every wednesday there's always different people there. For parents it's also a great way to vent and you find that others have gone through something you thought you were alone in.
Dont worry too much either about books and things that say what your child should be doing by age whatever - every child is different and will grow at their own pace. My son is now 17mths old and talks gibberish with only a couple of recognisable words (Dad being the main one). According to the books he should be saying more words than he is, however im comforted by the fact that Einstein didnt speak properly until he was around 6.

moaningminnie

Mum of 6 yr old and 3 mnth old - so tips from hindsight and the trenches!

Get timetables of all the childrens centres in your district, not just closest- there are few classes you have to pay for that your CC wont provide for free - baby massage, first aid, always a singalong group. Meeting other parents is invaluable.

Breastfeeding is harder than anyone tells you - all Mums find it hard, don't think it's "just you", you should get a breastfeeding phone line list from your midwife - cherry pick lines and advice, some are helpful mums but I have found lactation consultants on the end of these lines . Do try to go to a BF drop in run by a lactation consultant, not a midwife - a LC has extensive training whereas a midwife often has not. There are few problems with Bf that cannot be overcome and its so rewarding (and cheap!). My daughter had severe reflux and I breastfed her for 2 years - but only with a ton of help. We also used formula - dont be afraid to mix it up, Aptimil run a surprisingly wonderful advice line who are very pro breastfeeding! Number is on the box.

Never let someone palm you off with "colic" and send you home to a inconsolable baby. If colic is a problem then you should be helped to solve it - also Ive had many friends (including myself!) who've had ill babies misdiagnosed as colic. Ask for help til you get it, from many different sources. Colief is £11 for a weeks supply, but Ive heard of parents getting it (reluctantly) on prescription - you'd be surprised what you can get on prescription if you push.

There are no visitors, only helpers. NEVER turn down offers of food or help (unless you know the help will just be someone telling you you've got it wrong!). You are not being rude, you are doing the hardest job you'll ever have. Help comes in the strangest places - always ask- my male, tattooed, teenage moody cousin came to stay and happily made my daughter supper and helped put her to bed when I got stuck with the baby.

janninew

marisco wrote: »

I wish I had known that babies dont need all the paraphenalia on sale for them. We had every gizmo and gadget known to man and really didn't need it or use half of it.

Baby baths are a total waste of money. I was over at a friends house and she put the plug in the bath, filled it with a small amount of water and then laid her baby on its back in the bath and splashed water over her. So simple and easy and I was stood there agog wondering why I messed about filling a baby bath up and then struggled to keep hold of my wriggly screaming son whilst washing him :doh:. My mate thought that was hilarious.

The same mate wasn't always so with it though. She seriously thought that by 8 weeks most babies setlled into a nice little routine and slept through the night :rotfl:A memorable phone call from her one day saying that milestone had come and gone and when would she ever sleep again made me chuckle. She sounded so desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her probably not for at least another 4 years. As it turned out her daughter slept through by the time she was 3.

A lot people told me that a baby bath was a waste of money but mine has been used loads! I still find it hard to bend over the big bath after my c-section so my baby is either bathed in her baby bath on her changing unit so I don't have to bend over, or she comes in the bath or shower with me or her Dad.

me_me20

Amanda65 wrote: »

When people come round to visit and see the baby, have tea, coffee, sugar, mugs and milk readily available and don't be afraid to ask them to make the refreshments. I can clearly remember a group of friends from work coming round when DD1 was about 3 weeks old, all chatting on my living room while I ran round making their drinks. All the niceties of being a good host go out of the window when you have had little sleep, sore nipples and stitches!

I couldn't agree more! I post it note on the relevant cupboard door works a treat, with a note of what you like to drink too!

madmoneysavingmum

Baby sleeping bags ensure a warm, toasty, sleepy, just fed baby stays sleepy after a night feed and does not get woken up by going into a cold cot/crib.

Put something of mum's eg her top into the crib (over the bottom sheet is ideal) if baby won't settle. Smell is the strongest sense for a new baby, and the crib selling of mummy helps them settle.

Put a muslin (or mum's top) in the crib where baby's head will be, so that if they are a little sick, you can just remove the muslin/top without having to properly disturb the baby and remake the crib/cot.

Cloth nappies really are worth it (save a fortune and loads of landfill) and are far less work than anyone admits. With shaped nappies (eg TotsBots or Motherease) and soft waterproof wraps (separate waterproof layer, again TotsBots or Motherease or similar) you get great containment (no poo up the back, so no ruined clothes) and a very comfy baby. Washable fleece liners keep baby's bottom as dry as a disposable. We did stop with the washables around potty training time and change for pull ups for a few weeks as we got ready for potty training.

As the previous poster said, no need to soak or boil, just a rinse (in the machine) then a normal wash at 40 or 60. As long as you get them in the wash you never run out of nappies, although I have to say a tumble dryer does make it easier. Modern microfibre nappies air dry really fast though, and make it quite manageable to do cloth nappies without a dryer. We saved a lot of money - the nappies did for all 3 (and a couple of friends afterwards) and we saved more than the cost of the nappies/wraps and laundry whilst using them for DS1, for DD1 and DD2 the laundring was our only cost. We were almost in profit I had all 3 in cloth nappies at one point and it was fine. I did 1 nappy wash a day for all 3 in nappies, 1 nappy wash every 2 days for 2 in nappies and 1 every third day for just 1 in nappies. I did always do a separate nappy wash! I am no domestic goddess (very far from it) but it did not seem like too much work. I was always more worried about running out of disposables if we had to use them - I'm not great with keeping up with milk/bread etc.

Finally remember everything is just a stage and will pass. And they are worth it. Mostly.:rotfl:

scotty_81

Try and get your baby to a cranial osteopath in the first two weeks. Difficult but well worth it. Helps baby to sleep and helps with colic.

It's a roller coaster! The downs won't last too long before there's an up and if they do tell someone.

Even if you are good at trusting your instinct and following it there will be times when you are so sleep deprived that your instinct has switched itself off and you feel hopelessly lost. It comes back!

In order to look after your baby someone else needs to look after you. Ask for and take all the help you can get.

Best thing I did was cook 3 weeks worth of meals (and cake) and put them in the freezer. You've got to be properly fuelled!

Mumstheword

Sorry if this has been mentioned alreasy- I only read page 1.

A white cabbage, kept in the fridge. (not sure if this is needed for breastfeeding mums, don't know how their boobs behave!). One leaf inside each bra cup provides brilliant relief from hot, sore, overgrown boobs in the first week. It sounds silly, but once you've experienced the relief it brings, you'll shout it from the highest rooftops to your friends! Even a tough white cabbage will 'cook' fairly quickly in your bra, but thopse 10 minutes before that are bliss

Not a lettuce, as a very tired new dad arrived home from Tesco with

JimmyTheWig

lally82 wrote: »

Oh local surestart centres are great. Lovely people work there and they have good groups including ... dad groups ... how to manage your money.

I completely agree.
But I'm now smiling to myself at the idea of MSE Martin turning up to a "how to manage your money" course at his local Childrens' Centre - that would certainly keep the tutor on their toes!

lucysettle

I wish the midwives and breast feeding helpers and health visitors had suggested nipple shields to me earlier. I'm sure if I mention them to a militant breast feeding mum, then they'd say they're the work of the devil, but they are the reason I'm still breast feeding at three months and am confident that we'll continue too. My little girl just couldn't work out what to do otherwise. She'd lie there with my nipple in her mouth and scream and scream, presumably because she was so frustrated and hungry. I can't tell you the relief when I used one for the first time. Instantly latched on! I know they're not the ideal, and I'm guessing they're to blame as to why I don't seem to have enough milk for her appetite, but they've meant we haven't given up breast feeding -and that's the most important thing right!! Do whatever works for you and ignore the guilt pangs!!

lucysettle

lally82 wrote: »

Ok where to begin.
Breastfeeding or bottle-fed i entirely your choice. I was determined to breastfeed but bought formula just in case. In hospital breastfeeding worked great, but once I came home my son refused to latch on. When I told my midwife even she couldnt get him to do it and basically told me to starve him until he latched back on - I was mortified and felt like i'd already failed as a mother. My husband and I nodded and smiled and when she went we made up some formula. When the health visitor came around to check my stitches I told her my problems and she said we'd done the right thing and not to worry. She showed me how to work a breastpump so that I could still feed my son breast milk. I was so relieved and following her advice I kept trying him on my breast. A couple of days later he latched back on (I cried, lol). I continued to combine breast and bottle with no problems, so dont think you need to do one or the other.

We did the exact same thing. Initially the midwives were so cagey about letting us supplement with formula, but three months on and we still mix it up. A bit of breast feeding, some expressed milk or some formula and we've ended up with a very contented baby, which surely is the most important thing. And more importantly contented parents too, after all how can you enjoy your baby if you're stressed and anxy!