The Great 'What you wish you'd known when you had a baby' Hunt 2012

twistedwheelnut

Change baby's nappy before feeding, especially at night.
If you do it the other way round you will just upset them after you (or your wife) has just spent ages making sure they are full and comforted.
If you change the nappy first, you can put them down to sleep straight away while they are still milk-drunk, and they are much more likely to go back to sleep.

Gillsx

I found after I gave birth that I was very emotional, all over the place and so scared to go out of the house, worrying about what if the baby cries, etc. It's natural and practically every mother I know took a few weeks to settle before being comfortable with getting out and about. I was out the first week with support of my husband while he was on paternity leave so I was ready by the time he returned to work in the third week to get out myself. It's hard, but it's very normal to feel that way and soon you'll be out and about and hardly thinking about it.

Also, the first few months are the hardest. I'd say by week 20 it's like you turn a corner and it all becomes so much easier.

Enjoy - its an amazing time

Gillsx

suki1001 wrote: »

I also agree about the comment making, remind yourself you're doing fine. When my toddler was throwing a tantrum and I was struggling in a town centre and my baby was 2 days old, a woman marched up to me and told me i was a disgrace for a mother.

I'm disgusted people act in this way with anyone, thinking they have a right to make comment or pass judgement. They do not know your individual circumstances. A baby at 2 days old you would have been very emotional and upset, but if this ever happens again don't be afraid to hit back with what a disgrace of a human being they are to openly pass judgement, and to stick their opinion where the sun don't shine. Awful people.... :mad:

cheapskate101

1. If your baby has a rash, especially with high pitched cry, go to the doctors ASAP.. Do not take no for an answer.

.....I used to be a doctor's receptionist and the rule was that a child with a rash must be seen.


Years later, a receptionist wouldn't give my child an appointment and told me to come back later, so I just sat and waited. My child was OK but the doctor told me that I had done the right thing.


2. If your baby can't get to sleep ....and you've ruled out all the usual suspects and are getting desperate, they will often go to sleep if you put them in a cot on top of a working washing machine ( if tiny) or take them for a ride in the car ( if bigger). Some babies like reverberation and noise. I think it reminds them of being in the womb.


3. If you keep the house quiet when you are trying to get the baby off to sleep, they will want it to be that way for ages. The best strategy is to have a slightly noisy house (TV ok ect) but without any loud bangs .. Doors etc.


Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.

quinechinoise

cheapskate101 wrote: »

Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.

I like that comment. Quietly amusing.

Anyway, my tip is: ignore ANY advice you don't agree with and leave all your "baby" shopping to the last minute i.e. no stockpiles or fully kitted out nurseries, months in advance. (It's easier to buy something than to return it. In any case, whatever you buy will be the wrong size and you or baby will break it after one use.)

Oh, and by the time the second/subsequent child arrives, ignore ALL advice. If you've survived one child, you're now an expert.

reformedspender

The first three months are hard work and nothing can prepare you for the lack of sleep. The second three months are better. And the three months after that better still.

'Trust your instincts' meant nothing to me as I had none. For that reason I felt post-natel classes were next to useless. I got much more support, help and advice from chatting to other mums in the park. It is nice to know you're in the same boat sometimes.

I can only agree with the other comments about Mumsnet. Some of those ladies are scary.

Anyone who uses the phrase 'sleeps like a baby' has never had a baby. My son chewed, chomped, moaned, groaned, snored and wimpered and by three weeks we could take no more and moved him into his own room. He was fine.

I failed miserably to breast feed and my milk dried up and my son became jaundiced. When a midwife suggested a bottle I burst into tears and felt like I was poisoning him. Ridiculous really and I regret that I felt so dreadful in those first few days.

If you can afford a cleaner, get one. Cook in bulk beforehand so the freezer is stocked up with reasonably instant meals that you can inhale between feeds.

Place a hot water bottle in baby's cot when you're feeding so that when he/she goes back it is not too great a shock to their little systems after being all snuggly and warm against your skin. Obviously, take it out again when baby is back in the cot!

When you're buying a pram decline help from the sales assistants and see if you can work out how to put it up/collapse it without the instructions. That means it is more likely to be grandparent friendly.

You will fret over vaccinations.

You will smell of vomit.

When they start nursery they will contract bugs on a weekly basis.

BUT, when they give you a smile it is the most wonderful sight in the world, and their first laugh is a sound you will never forget. My son told me he had a surprise for me today. He'd drawn me a heart because he wanted to show how much I was loved.

Kids are hard work, but the best thing in the world.

sharrison01

cheapskate101 wrote: »

1. If your baby has a rash, especially with high pitched cry, go to the doctors ASAP.. Do not take no for an answer.

.....I used to be a doctor's receptionist and the rule was that a child with a rash must be seen.


Years later, a receptionist wouldn't give my child an appointment and told me to come back later, so I just sat and waited. My child was OK but the doctor told me that I had done the right thing.


2. If your baby can't get to sleep ....and you've ruled out all the usual suspects and are getting desperate, they will often go to sleep if you put them in a cot on top of a working washing machine ( if tiny) or take them for a ride in the car ( if bigger). Some babies like reverberation and noise. I think it reminds them of being in the womb.


3. If you keep the house quiet when you are trying to get the baby off to sleep, they will want it to be that way for ages. The best strategy is to have a slightly noisy house (TV ok ect) but without any loud bangs .. Doors etc.


Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.

Is point 1 due to the risk of a child having Mengitis or is there other types of rash that people should be wary of?

Without the risk of sounding like I am disagreeing too much, but surely point number 3 contradicts point number 2 as you are suggesting that a quiet house creates the bad habit for a baby always wanting a quiet house but surely encouraging a baby to sleep with reverberation also creates an equally difficult habit to break?

I'm afraid that I also am not sure about your point with China. Without discriminating against the whole of China, their one child policy has hardly created a society to be proud of with regards to their preference for male children and their childhood obesity rates will quite quickly rival that of the US if they keep up with their penchant for "Western" fast food. Health and education statistics in general are also not to be admired.

Each to their own, but we found a variety of books very interesting and if you can filter the forum based websites correctly, they can be very helpful.

ValOrient

My DS is 23 now but the best advice my dear departed Mum ever gave me?

Don't ever be afraid to let them just cry for a while. Babies cry, it's what they do best and sometimes if you feel at the end of your tether, put them in their cot/crib/pram in another room, put the kettle on and have a cup of tea. No harm ever came to a baby from having a good cry.

Besides, as my Mum said, "the more they cry, the less they piddle"

Aimless

reformedspender wrote: »

When you're buying a pram decline help from the sales assistants and see if you can work out how to put it up/collapse it without the instructions. That means it is more likely to be grandparent friendly.

I picked out a pram I thought would be perfect for me, went to the shop to look at it, I couldn't fold it even with the instructions! And it felt really cheap, I was glad I went to try it before ordering.

Blanchey

My top money-saving baby tips are:

* Dye hand me down or stained baby clothes with Dylan machine dye in dark shades, eg purple or navy. The clothes come out looking amazing and with a new lease of life. You get lots of people asking where the clothes are from! Great to go from pink to blue if number two baby is a boy, and works on sheets and sleeping bags too. It's actually a bit addictive waiting to see how the things will turn out.
* Also, LIDL nappies and wipes are absolutely excellent and v good value. By far my favourite even if they were not the cheapest.