I feel a bit mean...

nickj_2

cottonhead wrote: »

I personally wouldnt charge my kids for living in the family home. He is a teenager and just starting out in life, its not as though he has left for years and come back or is 35 and still living there so that he doenst have to spend his own money. I think its a parents job to support their children. If he offered to give you some money then fair enough that he is being considerate, but at 19 I would hope he would enjoy some of his money and also make plans for the future - perhaps start saving for a house deposit. Must add though that I also think its the childrens job to care for the oldies when the time comes, so he should be there for you financially and emotionally if you need him in later life ! I would speak to him about the dinner thing. Its not fair for you to go to the effort of cooking for it to go to waste.

the most important any 19 year old can learn , is that everything costs money and has to be paid for , if he's earning a wage then why shouldn't he contribute something to the family household, if the op decides to put it aside for him to use as a deposit is up to her ,but paying your way in life is a hard lesson to learn ,i think when i was living at home i used to give my mum around £40 p/w and that was over 20 years ago

nickj_2

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I am now going to make a radical suggestion to the OP.

You say your son works from 2pm - 9 pm.

So, when he is at home, why not get HIM to make a good home-cooked meal at lunchtime, enough for 3, and leave two portions for you and his brother.

If he hasn't yet learned to cook, why not invite him (and maybe the g/f) over at the weekend or whenever both you and he are free, for some lessons in how to cook his favourites.

give a man a fish and he eats for a day , teach a man to fish and he eats for life

newcook

cottonhead wrote: »

I personally wouldnt charge my kids for living in the family home. He is a teenager and just starting out in life, its not as though he has left for years and come back or is 35 and still living there so that he doenst have to spend his own money. I think its a parents job to support their children.

My ex’s mom thought like this – unfortunately, when we moved in together he had no clue about budgeting or bills or making money last. He also found it ‘so unfair’ when he was claiming JSA and I was asking him for a small contribution from him towards the bills rather than him spend it all on himself the second he got it and then expecting me to lend him money (sorry – give, as I never saw it again) as well as me paying all the bills!


I agree with the other poster who said about getting son to cook dinner now and then. The other option (apart from not cooking for him) would be to do something like a stew and freeze it in small batches so son will have something he can put in the microwave if/when he gets home from work. If he doesn’t come home that night then no food goes to waste and your dog doesn’t get fat!

jameswilson799

No I don’t think that you are mean, you feel like that only because you are thinking in that way. And as per my thinking don’t give any sort of money to his GF’s parent because we can’t give guarantee that they will use it properly and take care of your DS.