Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

The middle option financially is to send to a decent state school and then tutor in every subject where the student needs extra help. In some cases parents are using tutors to secure top grades rather than address weaknesses.

A couple of state schools near here that do really well in the league tables because there is intensive tutoring go on in the background that credits the school in the results league.

lostinrates wrote: »

Also, iln the independant sector all is not equal. For example, the one that was not near you Lydia, is supported (I think less well) for extra needs within the cost of the fees. I know a primary leading to secondary school that get a lot of referalls for kids with special needs because they are ruddy good at it, but not necessarily in an academic way....but the kids who often get sent their who might not otherwise to private, learn as well as a student with more natural aptitude/educationally motivated parents might do at state, but crucially they learn the social skills they arrived with out. The primary years my neices had had phenominal support. Again, the 'intellectual' expectation might not have been as your school.....they left for a reason, but the foundation it gave them ...and a lot of kids from monied but not easy backgrounds...was second to none i have seen in primary years. Its sort of the opposite parent to a lot of those I expect you see... (I expect you have a notable percentage of parents who are academically motivated to support their chilldren and make choices in their lifestyle to get their kids in your place)

Interesting, thank you both. I suspect that my outlook is rather distorted by having spent 14 of my 15 years of teaching in selective schools. I probably have a wildly unrealistic idea of what Y7 kids ought to be able to do.

lostinrates wrote: »

Cue one of the things I ask dh 'but WHY wouldn't 't you have loved me if I was a man but still me in every other way? '

I know somebody who's an identical twin. Her daughter asked her, in a puzzled way, "Why did Daddy marry you and not Aunty X?" as though they were interchangeable.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

Well......it hasn't really answered the question has it? .

It's an answer to the question thus the question has been answered.:)

lostinrates wrote: »

Dh has gone so far as to say I would probably have Still been his best friend but that it would be a complicated relationship if I still kept trying to grab him.

I use phrases like 'best friend' when talking about Mrs Generali but the fact remains that the reasons we got as far as marriage included sex and mutual sexual attraction. If she was a man I'd be unlikely to feel the same sexual attraction and that would alter the entire relationship. Maybe it would make us better friends, I don't know. I'm hoping it's not something I'll have to find out as one gender reassignment in the (extended) family is plenty.

Anyhoo, I'm off to bed. It's 37C tomorrow so I need to get my kip tonight.

michaels

LydiaJ wrote: »

Interesting, thank you both. I suspect that my outlook is rather distorted by having spent 14 of my 15 years of teaching in selective schools. I probably have a wildly unrealistic idea of what Y7 kids ought to be able to do.

I think if one has an 'intellectual' bent and always sailed through the academic side of school then it is very hard to envisage ones children having talents in other areas; and as you say just understanding what 'normal rnage' looks like having always mixed with peers in the top 25% due to setting at school. I know I find it hard. DW is always suggesting I should be helping the kids with their work, I am actually very bad at this as I can not understand how they do not just understand all the concepts on being told them.

lostinrates

michaels wrote: »

Aren't we back to that pheremones/smell thing which means that although you can find someone very attractive intellectually, emotionally and even physically to look at there is no sexual attraction?

Probably.

I know I would have lived dh as a woman too, even thou I identify as heterosexual.

.

michaels

lostinrates wrote: »

Probably.

I know I would have lived dh as a woman too, even thou I identify as heterosexual.

.

It is strange though, I just can not imagine finding men attractive in that way and always find it strange that women are attracted to men in the main rather than other women...

michaels

I think G shoudl give up his cycling, get an anorak and a metal detector and find a more lucrative hobby:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21055206

I also thought it would make quite a nice 'objet' to have on the sideboard, sort of 'natural and elemental'

LydiaJ

Generali wrote: »

I use phrases like 'best friend' when talking about Mrs Generali but the fact remains that the reasons we got as far as marriage included sex and mutual sexual attraction. If she was a man I'd be unlikely to feel the same sexual attraction and that would alter the entire relationship. Maybe it would make us better friends, I don't know. I'm hoping it's not something I'll have to find out as one gender reassignment in the (extended) family is plenty.

Interesting. Did the person have a partner before getting their gender reassigned, and if so, did the partner remain their partner during and after the process? I know some trans people do have partners who stay partnered with them, but I feel as Gen describes - if I had a partner who changed gender it would alter the whole relationship for me. Similarly to michaels, I cannot in any way say *why* I am heterosexual. I just am. Women just do not ever inspire sexual feelings in me, however much I like them as people otherwise, or consider them to be beautiful.

lostinrates

michaels wrote: »

It is strange though, I just can not imagine finding men attractive in that way and always find it strange that women are attracted to men in the main rather than other women...

As I said, I identify as heterosexual. I didn't always. Nor did I identify At one stage as Monogamous (I was in an open relationship). I think really though I was always heterosexual. Thinking back to childhood my 'crushes' were always male, and always 'exclusive'.

I don't know what the influences on me were at the time I identified differently.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

. Women just do not ever inspire sexual feelings in me, however much I like them as people otherwise, or consider them to be beautiful.

Hmm. I see lots of men who as a (sort of) adult I find beautiful in the extreme but still don't find 'sexually' attractive. It's pheremones again I suppose.

Similarly, I have in the past had a very near miss with a man in a relationship. We got on like a house on fire, and we laughed a lot, and there was a lot of attraction and I responded to his overtures, but then someone told me he was in a relationship and it's as if I could no longer smell his pheremones. To me it's the ultimate turn off....someone in a relationship unable to either be loyal to it or have the courage to call it a day with out a new squeeze embroiled.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Similarly, I have in the past had a very near miss with a man in a relationship. We got on like a house on fire, and we laughed a lot, and there was a lot of attraction and I responded to his overtures, but then someone told me he was in a relationship and it's as if I could no longer smell his pheremones. To me it's the ultimate turn off....someone in a relationship unable to either be loyal to it or have the courage to call it a day with out a new squeeze embroiled.

Agree about that. I would only ever want to get into a relationship with a man I felt convinced I could trust.