Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

SingleSue

Hiya Wageslave

Been a trying day today, youngest had a major outburst at school, something I have been warning about the potential of since September due to the lack of support in the classroom, new teachers not knowing about his problems and being dropped into a completely different school for some lessons with no prep or organisation.

Plus, I had a funeral to go to this afternoon for a lady who kept me sane when things were really tough with middle son, both before and after my marriage fell to pieces. She was the one who came up with a safety valve like thing for him when he felt he was about to blow, she was the one who talked things through with me when things were getting too much for me, she was the one who was there for James when he wasn't coping with the demands of the other two.

She may not have been everyones cup of tea, some would look at her lifestyle and free spirit and make judgements but you could not find a kinder, more generous, free thinking, individual...she would literally give you her last penny if you needed it.

A very very emotional day and I now feel very drained.

wageslave

I dont know who gave her eulogy, I hope the people she helped had their input.

I am more and more scared of death. I was very ill earlier this year and for the first time faced my own mortality. I didn't take it well.

That which does not kill us does not make us stronger. It just does not kill us

SingleSue

They/we certainly did...it was a lovely service where we all laughed or cried at the memories it all invoked.

Spirit_2

SingleSue wrote: »

She was the one who came up with a safety valve like thing for him when he felt he was about to blow, she was the one who talked things through with me when things were getting too much for me, she was the one who was there for James when he wasn't coping with the demands of the other two.

She may not have been everyones cup of tea, some would look at her lifestyle and free spirit and make judgements but you could not find a kinder, more generous, free thinking, individual...QUOTE]

What a great epitaph. I am very sad to read of your loss of your friend .

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

I dont know who gave her eulogy, I hope the people she helped had their input.

I am more and more scared of death. I was very ill earlier this year and for the first time faced my own mortality. I didn't take it well.

That which does not kill us does not make us stronger. It just does not kill us

I dunno.

I am indescribably different to who I was. Not all bad.

Stronger? No, in some ways very definitely not. But perhaps in other ways......

Dh thinks that it made me 'settle' enough to give our relationship a real chance. I am not sure that's true, I would like to think I would have loved him anyway and would like to have been the me he met for him now iyswim.

PasturesNew

wageslave wrote: »

Mad as a box of frogs! Oh. My. Lord. I love that one and will steal it and use it shamelessly.

Lydia, makeup everyday? I am seriously impressed. Months ago, I had one of those makeovers in HoF and spent a fortune on foundation which i was promised was perfect for me. It is still in the bag and still lying on the back seat of the car where I flung it.

Single sue ello

And it probably cost you a whole day's take home pay!

wageslave

The girls mother has been in touch. It is near Christmas and likely she wants money.

I won't die from this this it will just feel as if I am.

You know, I hate my mother but when my life was at my worst she was the only person I trusted enough to talk me down from the ledge.

She did it with stuff, only my fu coking mother can counteract heartbreak with new sofas. I clung to her and if she had told me to buy a polar bear I would have found a way.

Last night was te first time in over a year i have been allowed contact with the girls. Their mother wants money. I swore I would never do this again.

The eldest is so angry, she won't talk to me. She blames me. She feels abandoned

That which does not kill us just does not kill us. I am no stronger.

I will send their mother anything she asks for and nothing will help

Spirit_2

wageslave wrote: »

The girls mother has been in touch. It is near Christmas and likely she wants money.


She did it with stuff, only my fu coking mother can counteract heartbreak with new sofas. I clung to her and if she had told me to buy a polar bear I would have found a way.

Last night was te first time in over a year i have been allowed contact with the girls. Their mother wants money. I swore I would never do this again.


I will send their mother anything she asks for and nothing will help

FWIW - you are not alone. I have a family member who does this. Long ago I stopped enabling them. I bought for their children, delivered Christmas, furnished rooms, bought them a car (somone else bought them another -one car allowed to rot, the other crushed) , paid for all sorts. I recently began again to send food (As da will dilver next monday). What I have found is that my filling in allowed both of the seperated parents to abdicate their responsibilities. Me (and others) backing off made at least one of them start to step up to the plate. The one person who has never given up on them is being dragged to an early grave.

Commiserations. Can you send food rather than money?

lostinrates

I thought every family had one of those? Dh's does, mine does. Mine told the kids that the people who had not stepped up to the mark were dead. I think it must have been a shock to the kids when they heard some of them had died...a gain.

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

I thought every family had one of those? Dh's does, mine does. Mine told the kids that the people who had not stepped up to the mark were dead. I think it must have been a shock to the kids when they heard some of them had died...a gain.

Mine too, sadly. As you say, I think it is every family. I will feel sad that they are like that, but they won't get a penny of my money. Don't risk your daughter ws. You may love the little ones but there's no guarantee they will know of your input. Your daughter on the other hand is blood and will be yours always, for better or for worse. I got annoyed with my Mum too much as she is with you. But it's only because we love our parents and don't want to see them used.