How Can I Get The Debts Finished!!

ZTD

silkglade wrote: »

I have not done overtime since xmas as things were going so well that we would reach our goal. I did overtime last month to make sure that even it the back pay did not come through at the end of this month I could still pay mum off in full. so if both come through then i should be able to pay for sofa's too this month.

And that is exactly how you should use a credit card - buy now, pay next month. To be honest the sofa is not a problem - there's a natural limit on the number of sofas you can buy, but beware of the "small" purchases, such as DVDs and takeaways.

You can get bits of furniture that will hold 200 DVDs. At £15 each that's £3,000 worth - puts the sofa to shame doesn't it?

silkglade wrote: »

The truth is that once we are debt free we will carry on as normal with regard to food shopping and get what we need. and maybe get something for ourselves occasionally - not weekly or monthly even. then whatever is there at the end of the month goes into a savings account ( have never done it before as never had spare cash - rather exciting to see what we can save each month) and if we get through may and have spent less than thought we will pay that bit more off credit card too.

Excellent.

Mindy_2

First and foremost, well done on paying your debt off so far.

Secondly, I don't think you have messed up, you have proved that you are only human! But the fact that you have come on here and asked shows that you are feeling guilty.

Remember how you feel now, put it away and next time you feel like buying something that you haven't saved for first get this feeling out and see if you still want whatever it is.

Its a bit like losing weight, if you stop and question yourself you may find that the urge to spend (eat) goes away.

In a way, the scary bit is still to come and that is what you will do with your money when you have paid back your debts because up until now all your focus has been on repaying.

So give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved so far, learn from this and move on.

silkglade

ZTD wrote: »

And that is exactly how you should use a credit card - buy now, pay next month. To be honest the sofa is not a problem - there's a natural limit on the number of sofas you can buy, but beware of the "small" purchases, such as DVDs and takeaways.

Thanks for that advice. I know exactly where your coming from.

It's the "well it's only xxx and well it only cost xxx that is where the danger lies.

silkglade

ZTD wrote: »

You need to do things like save for emergencies, save for a pension etc. Money for that comes out of your "spare" (disposable income) but it is not to live on.



once the debt is gone and from now on actually I do not need to do overtime, also I already have a good pension as I work for the NHS and my dad looked it over as I joined it 6 years ago when I started in my job. He has said it is a really good one, it is NI contributions and money from my wages.

so I am in part saving for the future already on that point

ZTD

And your OH?

silkglade

He has a pension, but has not paid into it for a while as he is now a househusband, that and something about they won't let you pay into it when your not in employment.

not sure if that is right, but was what he was told.

he will get a part time job when little one starts school and can start payments again

ZTD

silkglade wrote: »

He has a pension, but has not paid into it for a while as he is now a househusband, that and something about they won't let you pay into it when your not in employment.

not sure if that is right, but was what he was told.

he will get a part time job when little one starts school and can start payments again

You can take out a stakeholder when even not in employment, but best place to ask for details is the Pensions board.

You may want to consider having some savings for retirement yourself. Your pension is "defined benefit" - but unfortunately the Gov can re-define the benefit at any point up to you actually retiring.

All the Local Authority workers who were going to retire on the "Rule of 85" have found that out to their cost.

silkglade

Thanks for that. i'll check it out

chocolatefish

Mindy wrote: »

First and foremost, well done on paying your debt off so far.

Secondly, I don't think you have messed up, you have proved that you are only human! But the fact that you have come on here and asked shows that you are feeling guilty.

Remember how you feel now, put it away and next time you feel like buying something that you haven't saved for first get this feeling out and see if you still want whatever it is.

Its a bit like losing weight, if you stop and question yourself you may find that the urge to spend (eat) goes away.

In a way, the scary bit is still to come and that is what you will do with your money when you have paid back your debts because up until now all your focus has been on repaying.

So give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved so far, learn from this and move on.

Ditto the above congratulations on what you have acheived.

And there's another way that DWD is like losing weight... simply that you can work really hard to lose weight and reach your target, and that's great, but if you haven't learned how to change your eating / spending habits for life, you'll put it all back on - plus some more. Debt is the same. You can strive and strive to get to where you want to be (DF), but reaching the target is only the beginning, not the end.

I think that's where the danger of thinking about 'treats' comes in. For me, I've learned that if I think about 'treating myself' to something, whether it's a new DVD or a cream cake, that mindset of 'it's just a wee treat' is my way of telling myself that it doesn't really matter, that it's a one off, that it's an exception to my usual good practice, most of the time I'm really good so this one aberration won't matter. In fact I should be trusting my gut feeling that this is not the right thing to do, that it's not good for me, and that it won't make me happy. Usually its a signal that I am reacting to some emotional need and making an excuse for it, rather than making a conscious choice to spend / eat whatever.

You say above that you want to stop feeling guilty about spending money. Well the only way to do that, especially after all you have learned about getting out of debt, is to plan your spending in advance, to build it into your budget, to not incur debt to buy stuff and to be absolutely sure that you can afford to buy it without going into debt for it, and you are aware what the impact will be on your budget. So if you think you are going to need a new sofa, decide how much you want to spend and start saving for that a year before you are actually going to need one - and excellent, there's a pot of money sitting waiting to spend on your sofa. Ditto for a bike, or any other present for your DD.

It's not spending per se that you should feel guilty about, it's uncontrolled, unanticipated, 'treats' that will cause you guilt - probably becuase they are close to the type of spending that got you into debt in the first place.

Good luck - the hard work starts now!

silkglade

Thanks for your advice and encouragement. I have to say that the DVD went on the credit card by mistake as it was registered on my account ages ago along with my debit card. It won't happen again as have now removed it from my amazon account. Also as it was an expected outgoing had been budgeted for this month (hubby's B'day) Was just a slip up. I have now made sure that no credit cards are showing on any online accounts for this to happen again.

Can anyone help me to get the motivation and better frame of mind to get this finished with. This last bit seems to have taken forever and I feel that I am (even though still obsessed) failing on the motivation.

I am feeling down about it rather than excited (which I think I should) as the end (paying off the last bit) is so close.