How Can I Get The Debts Finished!!

helping_hubby

silkglade wrote: »

Thank you for your honesty!


Do you think I have messed up. We moved into a new house in November and have been fighting every bone in my body not to start decorating till the debts are gone, even though I needs it badly.

I don't really know you so I don't know if what you've done is enough to mess up. I would say that the DVD could have been bought from Play or similar and you could have saved a few pounds. I've been following this board for a long time trying to understand why and how my hubby got into so much debt. And it seems very easy to slip back into old habits.

I obviously don't know how you got into debt in the first place, or how you've managed to successfully (almost) get out of it (well done by the way).

I just think when you are debt free to try and carry on what you've learnt. And save up the money before you start buying things for decorating.

If credit cards (building up, consolidating, building up again) was the way you got into debt in the first place then I would cut them all up, cancel them and never get one again. You could easily save a healthy sum of emergency money (stick in a ISA) for things like boilers breaking and then after that you can start saving for holidays/decorating/christmas...

silkglade

Thank you for your encouragement. I cant pay it all off in 1 month as we would not be able to eat for the month. that money included what we need for petrol, food, nappies etc

finallydebtfree!!

If credit cards (building up, consolidating, building up again) was the way you got into debt in the first place then I would cut them all up, cancel them and never get one again. You could easily save a healthy sum of emergency money (stick in a ISA) for things like boilers breaking and then after that you can start saving for holidays/decorating/christmas...

great advice!!! Its just so easy to think Ill put that on the card, I gave all my cards to my mum before I could trust myself, I knew that I would be too embaressed to go and ask her for them! now I have canceled all bar one which I use as I said above, I also use it to shock myself at how much I spend, if it came out of my wages I wouldnt notice but seeing that bill each month makes me think!

I do think if you would be tempted to use it again then cancel it completely!

silkglade

helping_hubby wrote: »

If credit cards (building up, consolidating, building up again) was the way you got into debt in the first place then I would cut them all up, cancel them and never get one again. You could easily save a healthy sum of emergency money (stick in a ISA) for things like boilers breaking and then after that you can start saving for holidays/decorating/christmas...

I Got into debt by buying a house with my now ex, who I threw out after a month when I was told by my old next door neighbour that he had been mistreating our son. The ex admitted it.

I then had to try and make ends meet on a much lower wage than now, with a mortgages and bills that had been worked out on 2 wages. (he never paid a penny towards the house, including the deposit)

I have 3 credit cards with a nil balance that have not been used in ages!

finallydebtfree!!

silkglade wrote: »

Thank you for your encouragement. I cant pay it all off in 1 month as we would not be able to eat for the month. that money included what we need for petrol, food, nappies etc

fair enough but it wont take long to pay it off! In a way its good that you are feeling guilty, at least you know that you cant do it all the time! imagine if you had spent all that and didnt feel a thing! you would probably never escape the debt! at least you are almost there! wont be long until its gone!

finallydebtfree!!

I have 3 credit cards with a nil balance that have not been used in ages!

:eek: get rid of them :rotfl: seriously though I would cancel them

I had 3 credit cards and a store card which I got back from my mum once i had paid off the loan, cancelled all bar the 1 credit card which I use. It was such a great feeling when they asked why i was cancelling "because now I am in control of my finances and no longer need to use them" and an even better feeling cutting them up into tiny pieces!

silkglade

Oh and the DVD was from Amazon market place. the only time we pay more than £6 on a dvd is for B'days or Xmas.

silkglade

The credit cards are only until we have savings for any unexpected disasters, they are locked away so we cant be tempted to use them and very rarely even remember they are there.

ZTD

silkglade wrote: »

I am now feeling really guilty as on Thurs we went to the Land of leather sale and got a a new 2 and 3 seater sofa set for £499, reduced from £1698.

We then got 3 new rugs fro downstairs that total £67.97

And at the begining of the month got my 7year old daughter a bike as she had taught herself on a friends bike £99

An lastly got hubby a DVD for £13.99

All this on the Credit card above - it is at 0% till Aug 07

The problem is that I feel guilty for spending money full stop. I know we have saved a fortune on the suite (the one we have is no its last legs)

Never ever concentrate on how much you've saved. It's what you've spent that is the important thing. You could always buy 10 of these and save somewhere in the region of £10,000.

How was the sofa on its last legs? Tatty or dangerous? How much shopping around and comparison did you do? How vital was the DVD? How vital were the rugs? Could any of them have waited?

silkglade wrote: »

and DD bike is the first thing she has had since xmas

Which was only 3 months ago? So you've spent approx £30 per month on her. How would she cope with a childhood where you got sweets on your birthday, and 1 toy at Christmas?

Or more likely - how would *you* cope?

The fact you use the word "treats" would imply you buy stuff for your kids not because they need them, but as an emotional "feel good" act for yourself. Would that be fair?

silkglade wrote: »

(w have a 12,7 year old and 22month old) none of them have had any treats and we spent about £50 each for xmas and that was it. They know things have been tough and that it will come to an end soon - hopefully.

Even when it does "come to an end" if you spend money like water, you end up in the same place. Especially you think the good times will last forever.

If you are having problems cutting your cloth to suit with the pressing problem of debt, such that you get into more debt when getting into less is your "primary mission" - do you think you will be able to when you are nominally "debt free"? What steps will you take not to overspend then?

silkglade wrote: »

I need some advice and help to get the last little bit done and encouragemant to stop spending more money.

Do you think that I have messed up by spening this money?

No, but I think you have messed up by going into more debt for it. If your circumstance changed tomorrow, your income might be radically different, but your debt will remain exactly the same.

finallydebtfree!!

silkglade wrote: »

Oh and the DVD was from Amazon market place. the only time we pay more than £6 on a dvd is for B'days or Xmas.

that sound like us!! and alot of the time I ask other people to get them as birthday/christmas presents instead especially if I want a new release!!