How Can I Get The Debts Finished!!

silkglade

ZTD wrote: »

The fact you use the word "treats" would imply you buy stuff for your kids not because they need them, but as an emotional "feel good" act for yourself. Would that be fair?



Even when it does "come to an end" if you spend money like water, you end up in the same place. Especially you think the good times will last forever.




No, but I think you have messed up by going into more debt for it. If your circumstance changed tomorrow, your income might be radically different, but your debt will remain exactly the same.

The word TREATS is inclusive of all of us which until this month I have not spent a penny that was not essential and a need rather than a Want, do you still think I "SPEND MONEY LIKE WATER"

And over the past year I have had NO enjoyment spending any money.

I have done so much overtime last year that I think my kids forgot what I looked like. I did it to have the debts gone in April this year.

silkglade

The DVD, is the 1 BIRTHDAY gift from all of us. Is it really so bad to buy him 1 gift?

Emmzi

silkglade wrote: »

The DVD, is the 1 BIRTHDAY gift from all of us. Is it really so bad to buy him 1 gift?

Silkglade,

this and the post before it sound like justification to me.

Would you be asking if you thought it was all ok?

We're strangers. It really doesn't matter what we think. You certainly don't have to justify yourself to us.

How do YOU really feel about it?

finallydebtfree!!

Would you be asking if you thought it was all ok?

proabably not, but if she feels bad about it whats the point of people saying its an awful thing to do? we are here to help one another not make people feel worse and if we have done something that probably wasnt the best thing to do but has a simple way out why not make each other feel a bit happier? and point out that the mistake isnt actually that terrible!

can I just ask a quick question? one of my naughty purchases (that £100 blow out on NOT NEEDED clothes) was a pair of footless tights, do you think 26 is too old to be wearing them? :rotfl:

mrsspendalot

I don't think you have messed up, as we all have those moments when we buy things that perhaps we shouldn't have. But I think I would personally have waited until the debt was actually gone before making a big purchase, just because you never know what is round the corner.

At least it is on a 0% card

silkglade

I Feel as guilty for spending £1 extra, let alone anything more. I have just got sooooo used to never buying anything at all. The problem I have is that what sort of live do we live if we NEVER treat ourselves even when debt free, what kind of life do you ever expect to have.

I was just asking if it was unreasonable to buy my hubby 1 gift? that is all he has.

My kids are not spoilt and do not expect anything, at times even found it hard to get shoes when they needed them as I had already paid the debts the maximum we could afford.

Things have been so hard this last year - but because I have made it that way. we even got through a week on £47 including nappies!

Just want to stop feeling guilty for everything and such a failure

silkglade

finallydebtfree!! wrote: »

can I just ask a quick question? one of my naughty purchases (that £100 blow out on NOT NEEDED clothes) was a pair of footless tights, do you think 26 is too old to be wearing them? :rotfl:

Definatley not - I would wear them if I was slimmer ( still trying to trim down after baby no. 3) and I am 32!

ZTD

silkglade wrote: »

The word TREATS is inclusive of all of us which until this month I have not spent a penny that was not essential and a need rather than a Want, do you still think I "SPEND MONEY LIKE WATER"

No I don't think you spend money like water. But the this

We can easily afford to pay in excess of £500 a month comfortably after April (when mum is paid back) as we will have spare money to live on of around £1032 a month.

gives rise to thinking that you will spend up to the level of your excess money.

Then you will be spending money like water.

You need to do things like save for emergencies, save for a pension etc. Money for that comes out of your "spare" (disposable income) but it is not to live on.

silkglade wrote: »

And over the past year I have had NO enjoyment spending any money.

I have done so much overtime last year that I think my kids forgot what I looked like. I did it to have the debts gone in April this year.

So do you think it is better to give them things which you will need to work overtime to pay off, or to give them your time? You can do a little bit of both, but that ultimately is the trade-off - more of one means less of the other.

jessegeller

Reading this post I think you are doing fabulously well. I think buying your partner 1 gift from all of you was probably a hard thing to do - the temptation is there to splurge on a big treat them (or that might be just me!)

Try not to feel guilty - everyone slips up, or feels like they have slipped up. Maybe because you are so close to being debt free you are feeling worse about delaying clearing the debt - even if it is only by a couple of months.

Keep up the hard work - its clearly worked for you.

Best of luck!

finallydebtfree!!

silkglade wrote: »

Definatley not - I would wear them if I was slimmer ( still trying to trim down after baby no. 3) and I am 32!

thanks!! dont feel quite so bad now!!

off out tonight (the mse way!!) work are paying for a meal for us all and some money towards drinks!! so all I have to pay for is the taxi (or nightbus :rolleyes:) home. wanted to wear something different!