Well, that didn't go down well!

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

No it isn't. Its money they earn that they are able to save due to kind parents.

The cost of adding one extra person to a multi person household isn't anywhere near 'market rent', and oddly enough, most parents care about their children and want the best for them. Some do nice things for them even when they get absolutely no financial return!

Paying your own way isn't the same thing as just paying any extra costs, although it may well not be as much as the market rate.

I just don't see that letting your adult children bum a free ride from you is doing something nice for them - rather the opposite. It certainly isn't doing the best for them.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Paying your own way isn't the same thing as just paying any extra costs, although it may well not be as much as the market rate.

I just don't see that letting your adult children bum a free ride from you is doing something nice for them - rather the opposite. It certainly isn't doing the best for them.

Certainly?

Oh well, case closed then. I will await the disastrous consequences that are surely to befall me!

elisebutt65

Just had an interesting conversation with my eldest DS who is 17 & at college. He & a friend had an argument with another mate, who had just started an apprenticeship at £240/ week and is kicking off at paying his mum £50/week. They both think he is a spoiled brat and couldn't understand why he shouldn't have to pay!!

DS is fed up with having no money and is now also looking for an apprenticeship so he can 'pay his way' as he put it. Bless him!!

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Certainly?

Oh well, case closed then. I will await the disastrous consequences that are surely to befall me!

Many children survive growing up on a diet of sweets, crisps and other undesirable things. That doesn't mean that their parents have being doing something nice for them, however much they may have enjoyed it in the short term.

Mojisola

elisebutt65 wrote: »

DS is fed up with having no money and is now also looking for an apprenticeship so he can 'pay his way' as he put it. Bless him!!

Good for him! I can't understand young adults who don't want to pay their way - don't they have any self-respect?

When I was temporarily unemployed and living at home, I paid my parents what I could but also took on most of the housework because I was at home while they were working - payment in kind.

We are a very supportive family and, at different times, my parents have helped us out with money and, when circumstances changed, we were able to return the favour. None of us would expect others to support us while we saved our money in order to have a good time travelling!

Charliezoo

I don't know what area you're in but I used to rent a room in Outer London for £400 pm inc most bills. I was earning about the same as your son so still had about £300 left for food, etc. He can more than afford to pay you what you're asking or find his own shared place.

I'm surprised he doesn't want to move out, my parents are nice enough people but given the choice I much preferred having my own place even if it was shared.

VestanPance

Paying keep is simply a welcome to the real world exercise. That point when a kid stops being a kid and becomes a young adult that has to understand that everything costs. Plus when they do eventually move out they'll look back on how cheap their 'digs' money was.

The I'd move out quicker if I didn't have to pay it is a very soft and weak excuse. They'd also be out quicker if they didn't go out with their mates, or buy clothes, or video games or make-up or anything else.

As soon as I got my first wage I got told exactly what my keep would be each week. Any child that expects to be kept at home for free once they've left school really needs a big wake up call.

OrkneyStar

I paid £40 a week and then £200 pcm, in the nineties and early part of 2000-2001-ish, and latterly I was saving to buy a flat (and I did, though since sold it and living with hubby now!). Mum couldn't afford to keep me and I accepted that. £35 per week in this day and age is a bargain!

heartbreak_star

I paid £200 out of £800 just after uni, and last year my mum let me crash for a month free in an emergency.

A great little read about this subject is Full House, by Maeve Binchy.

HBS x

pollypenny

Paying something towards one's keep is part of being an adult.

When DS came home he paid a fair amount, which helped towards his vast intake of food. However, he also had washing, ironing and cleaning done for him.

As OP's income is not great anyway, I'd have thought he would have wanted to help. Lads take some feeding.