Car-obsessed in-laws — would you keep schtum?

andygb

Its their money, their choice, and their fault if they mess up. You have made a rod for your own back by getting involved before. Just keep your distance, play dumb and let him get on with it.

art_for_arts_sake

Weird_Nev wrote: »

What on earth is it to do with you?
He could buy a car a week for all the say you have in the matter.

If they ask your opinion then just say 'I don't know, you change your car so often I've lost track'.

pelirocco wrote: »

Im not surprised he gets angry , its not your place to tell him what he can and cannot do.

I thought your gripe was because he keeps changing his car ?

If I didn't have any say in the matter, he wouldn't be seeking my opinion. He's only using it to justify his purchasing decision so if I disagree it isn't considered a valid opinion. I don't think he's confident in the decisions he makes any more because he's made so many bad ones. After posting, I realised he'd changed two cars in as many days. I don't think that's normal behaviour by anyone's standards. At times I've lost track of what car he intends to buy, he changes his mind so often. My wife can't even remember what car they're driving.

colino wrote: »

Perhaps this guy is ramping up his car changing exploits because he is blaming the car for problems he is now aware of in his driving? Worth someone else having a chat with him to make sure he is OK to drive.

Yes, the thought did occur to me. As I said, I'm not the only person to be concerned, but any comments by their neighbours are perceived by them as jealousy.

xoleeb wrote: »

W T F has it got to do with you what they do with their money..worried about your inheritance???

Ha ha,:rotfl:I wish, We're looking at buying a second property at the moment, it was clear to us years ago we'd be standing on our own two feet when both sets of parents had gone, so we're determined to be independent. FIL was surprised at the amount we'd saved, and probably didn't appreciate my OH telling him he could have done the same if he hadn't blown his money on cars. Sadly the news isn't so good for my MIL, she's largely dependent on FIL for income and she's already confided in my OH she faces hardship if he 'goes first' and would be forced to move as he's failed to make any provision for her and won't even make a will.

Ellejmorgan

Hintza wrote: »

No your not.

Then that must show he's fit & healthy doesn't it..

If not he would have had to hand his license in, over 65 he has to have his license extended, they won't let him on the road otherwise, he certainly wouldn't get insurance if he was a high risk..

Anyway this is off the point, the point is he's treating himself to a new motor, good for him I say

ruthie77

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

Then that must show he's fit & healthy doesn't it..

If not he would have had to hand his license in, over 65 he has to have his license extended, they won't let him on the road otherwise, he certainly wouldn't get insurance if he was a high risk..

Anyway this is off the point, the point is he's treating himself to a new motor, good for him I say

Not necessarily. My FIL has had several TIAs which have led him to an almost complete lack of mobility. His doctors have never even suggested that he should not be driving, he still has his licence! My OH has taken the car away from him as we were concerned for his and other road users safety should he decide to go for a drive. I accept this may not be possible for everyone to do, but it was the best thing for him. On the other hand, my father rescinded his licence after having one stroke.

My advice would be, if you're concerned about his behaviour, then call his doctor. Obviously they can't discuss his health with you but you can advise his GP of your concerns and they can then arrange to check him out. Might be the only course of action for you.

Noctu

andygb wrote: »

Its their money, their choice, and their fault if they mess up. You have made a rod for your own back by getting involved before. Just keep your distance, play dumb and let him get on with it.

Took the words out of my mouth. You will not be thanked for your involvement (even though they are the ones involving you!)... just shrug your shoulders, say you don't know, and leave them to it.

Errata

Licenses run to 70 years of age and can then be renewed for only 3 years at a time.
I'm trying to figure out what the problem is, it seems to be a mixture of he's clueless about cars and keeps changing them, he's not safe to drive and won't acknowledge it, he hasn't made financial provision for his wife if he kicks the bucket before she does.
I think it would help if you could figure out what the primary problem is and react accordingly.

cajef

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

over the age of 65 he is tested regularly to ensure he is medically fit..

If not he would have had to hand his license in, over 65 he has to have his license extended, they won't let him on the road otherwise, he certainly wouldn't get insurance if he was a high risk..

Where are you getting that rubbish from, there is no requirement for anyone over 65 to be tested or have their licence (not license) extended.

A licence runs until someone is 70 when it then becomes necessary to simply renew it every 3 years.

Gordon_Hose

You only need to start worrying when he starts parking them in the fridge and putting the milk on the driveway.

Ellejmorgan

cajef wrote: »

Where are you getting that rubbish from, there is no requirement for anyone over 65 to be tested or have their licence (not license) extended.

A licence runs until someone is 70 when it then becomes necessary to simply renew it every 3 years.

All I know is when my grandad hit 65 he was tested, as I'm only 34 I'm a little way off to have 1st hand knowledge of this.

As the ops father in law is 80, it's not relevant to the question is it really..

A license does not run until 70, it runs until 70 providing the person isn't a risk and is medically fit, there's a difference, a license can be withdrawn at any point, not just at 70..


I can't believe people are even questioning the bloke buying his cars, if he was 40 you wouldn't bat an eyelid, but because he's 80 you are, talk about ageist...

Errata

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

All I know is when my grandad hit 65 he was tested,

Tested for what and by whom?

Your driving licence entitlement will expire when you reach the age of 70 and if you want to continue to drive, the entitlement will need to be renewed by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA). Your renewed licence will normally be valid for three years.