Car-obsessed in-laws — would you keep schtum?

Ellejmorgan

I'm lost I was waiting for you to say in the opening text that he had no license or something..

erm I don't understand, it's their money, their life..

Weird_Nev

What on earth is it to do with you?
He could buy a car a week for all the say you have in the matter.

If they ask your opinion then just say 'I don't know, you change your car so often I've lost track'.

pelirocco

art_for_arts_sake wrote: »

He'll soon be over 80. I've tried to encourage him to let his wife drive more but he's in denial about his own abilities, and gets angry when I try to discuss it. I'm married to his DD who's his only offspring, she's strongly anti-car as a result of her upbringing, so it's not an easy situation.

Im not surprised he gets angry , its not your place to tell him what he can and cannot do.


I thought your gripe was because he keeps changing his car ?

Hintza

I don't understand most of these replies telling the OP to butt out. The OP doesn't care how they spend their money he is concerned that the behaviour is not rational and is worried that this and I guess other signs are pointing to the onset of dementia.

I guess most of you youngsters haven't got parents(/in-law) who are in their 80s! Just wait. And the other thing to remember is that by that stage you won't be too far behind them!!

pelirocco

Hintza wrote: »

I don't understand most of these replies telling the OP to butt out. The OP doesn't care how they spend their money he is concerned that the behaviour is not rational and is worried that this and I guess other signs are pointing to the onset of dementia.

I guess most of you youngsters haven't got parents(/in-law) who are in their 80s! Just wait. And the other thing to remember is that by that stage you won't be too far behind them!!

The Op states in his first post that this wife spent most of her childhood looking at cars for sell , so would assume this isnt a new thing

After witnessing my MIL with dementia I am well aware of the signs , which is why i asked in an earlier post if they were neglecting paying bills

My dad died recently aged 83 my siblings an I nursed him through his last few weeks , and i witnessed my normally sensible sister treat him as tho he was a child , which was pretty horrible tbh . just because you are getting on , doesnt mean you dont know whats best for you ! So unless the OPs inlaws are in danger of eviction , starving or freezing to death then I say keep out and show some respect

colino

Perhaps this guy is ramping up his car changing exploits because he is blaming the car for problems he is now aware of in his driving? Worth someone else having a chat with him to make sure he is OK to drive.

Ellejmorgan

Hintza wrote: »

I don't understand most of these replies telling the OP to butt out. The OP doesn't care how they spend their money he is concerned that the behaviour is not rational and is worried that this and I guess other signs are pointing to the onset of dementia.

I guess most of you youngsters haven't got parents(/in-law) who are in their 80s! Just wait. And the other thing to remember is that by that stage you won't be too far behind them!!

How does dimentia have anything to do with it..

If I had the option to change my car every year or so I'd do it, it's only lack of cash that stops me..

If he wasn't fit to drive he would not have a license at his age, over the age of 65 he is tested regularly to ensure he is medically fit..

What's the difference between the old man changing his motor and a 20 year old boy racer changing his every year, none..

Give the old guy a break, at 80 he doesn't have much time left of driving, I suspect he just loves driving new cars, some people just do..

Hintza

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

over the age of 65 he is tested regularly to ensure he is medically fit..

No your not.

xoleeb

W T F has it got to do with you what they do with their money..worried about your inheritance???

art_for_arts_sake wrote: »

Advice please.

I have a FIL who's obsessed with changing his car. This normally takes place about once a year, on the flimsiest of excuses he uses to justify his purchase.

Last year his old car, bought secondhand and approaching its third anniversary, was traded in for a new car because it "needs an MOT".

The first inkling I had of his intention to change this time was when he came round a few months ago, pestering me to go and look at a secondhand Nissan Note.

Bear in mind this is nine months after changing his car for a new VW Fox, which he'd paid 3 years servicing in advance for, paid for reversing sensors to be fitted (he does this to all his cars) and got me to fit headlight covers.

I was more than a little short with him, pointing out his reason for changing last time was the car needed an MOT and his proposed purchase was fast approaching the same date.

I suggested he might like to get a car that my MIL could drive instead as she's rarely allowed to take the car out of his sight. If it's raining the car is seldom taken on the road too.

They obviously thought better of it, but my FIL muttered a cryptic "I'm not done yet".:(

We had a phone call again last week, my wife, who is totally against buying cars, having spent much of her childhood being dragged around garages looking at them, answered the phone as I was in bed as I didn't feel too well.

"Can I speak to ***, we're thinking of changing the car".

My wife made her excuses for me, and a week later FIL rings to announce he's changed his car again.:mad:

This time he's swapped a year-old car for one considerably older on the pretext "the old one didn't have air conditioning". Well, why didn't you ******* buy one with it last time, I want to scream, but luckily my wife has the sense to make her excuses and rings off.

It's pretty obvious my FIL has some sort of OCD, but as he's getting on now I suspect he's beginning to show some signs of dementia too. His wife just goes along with him so there's no one to check what I see as increasingly aberrant behaviour.

If you knew my in-laws you'd think they were poverty stricken by their scrimping. When it comes to cars they tend to stick to what are probably seen in the trade as low-budget cars, so the chances of them being disappointed are high, though many of the MSEs on here would be delighted with their cast-offs.

I know I'm going to be asked my opinion about the 'new car', and I'm going to find it it hard to bite my lip. Trouble is, whatever I say either has no effect at all or they'll just do the opposite to what I suggest.

Loganfire

He's missing some think from his life, so he's filling it with the buzz of buying a new car.