Need to off load

threemuttleys

As I am really rather pee'd off

OH and I were going to go on holiday, but then due to lack of cash we decided that we would not physically "go" on holiday. Instead we would have some nice family time with DS (2) and have a couple of days out here and there.

So, in July, I booked my holiday. I have been asking him to book his holiday throughout this time. He said due to pressure at work, he could not book the full two weeks, only a couple of days here and there.

I get he is under pressure at work, so am I, but he is going to lose his holiday entitlement AGAIN

So here I am sat at home with DS on the first day of our holiday...what has OH booked? One bloody day...only because he has a doctors appointment.

So now I have, no car, no money till pay day (ok, thats my fault for not budgeting properly ) and a bored toddler. He has the brass neck to moan at me for working weekends (no childcare costs ) so not much time together as a family. Yet when I have a load of time off!!!!!!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::mad:

I am wondering if I had booked the holiday, if we would have ended up going alone...maybe I should have done that

Bloody Man

daska

You should also note that it's unlawful to prevent a worker taking their statutory paid holiday entitlement. Therefore you may have to allow a worker's annual leave request right at the end of the leave year to ensure that they have taken their full entitlement of 5.6 weeks.

http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?itemId=1081597944&r.i=1074414877&r.l1=1073858787&r.l2=1084822795&r.l3=1074414642&r.s=sc&r.t=RESOURCES&type=RESOURCES

threemuttleys

Thanks for the link Daska

Its not them preventing it, its that he will not ask for help with his workload, and more to the point hasnt bothered booking the time off

daska

threemuttleys wrote: »

Thanks for the link Daska

Its not them preventing it, its that he will not ask for help with his workload, and more to the point hasnt bothered booking the time off

I know it's not a nice thing to suggest but I was in your position and I rang and booked holiday for DS1's dad because we'd agreed a holiday and he never got round to it and told me he was too busy. He walked out a few months later and told me he'd not booked it because he didn't want to spend time with me. I guess you have to ask the question "is this an excuse?"

threemuttleys

TBH...I have been thinking that for the last few weeks.

I have never ever questioned our relationship before now, obv wehave fred barneys, but never found myself wondering.

Nicki

daska wrote: »

I know it's not a nice thing to suggest but I was in your position and I rang and booked holiday for DS1's dad because we'd agreed a holiday and he never got round to it and told me he was too busy. He walked out a few months later and told me he'd not booked it because he didn't want to spend time with me. I guess you have to ask the question "is this an excuse?"

My DH is a total workaholic and never gets round to booking time off, and when he DOES book it, often goes into work anyway unless we are actually catching a plane, or in a foreign country on the day. BUT, we have been married for more than 20 years and he has always been this way.

I think some people are more driven than others at work, and personally don't think it is a sign your husband wants to leave you, if they are like this. My husband has always been the same and would be the same I am sure whoever he was married to, or if he was single.

Tupperware_Queen

I have to say, on many many occasions I have taken my kids on holiday on my own, to Pontins, or caravan park holidays. The Sun hols are fantastic for this, cheap and cheerful. When the kids were little park, beach and swimming pool were all they wanted, as they got bigger I signed them up for the activities at pontins etc, and I took a load of books, a flask and warm jumpers so I could sit at the side of the climbing wall/cart track etc reading and drinking coffee whilst they had fun.

Far better than staying at home and building up resentment. I think the OH enjoyed the break too.

threemuttleys

Thank you both for that.

I have just compiled a list of things that we can do (from Friday, pay day!)

I just feel odd (or is that a bit sad) doing this list on my own. I am really really upset about it.
Have just been trawling the holiday sites, and I think I may try and save for a little holiday next year, just DS and I

Never been to Pontins, is it any good?

daska

Nicki wrote: »

My DH is a total workaholic and never gets round to booking time off, and when he DOES book it, often goes into work anyway unless we are actually catching a plane, or in a foreign country on the day. BUT, we have been married for more than 20 years and he has always been this way.

I think some people are more driven than others at work, and personally don't think it is a sign your husband wants to leave you, if they are like this. My husband has always been the same and would be the same I am sure whoever he was married to, or if he was single.

I was also a workaholic, but it didn't stop me from making time for either of my husbands. I raised it as a possibility because the OP said he moaned at her working weekends and because they'd discussed and agreed this but he's made frequent excuses to avoid booking it. If she had been nagging him to fix some dates then fair enough but to have agreed dates and not bothered smacks of a bit more.

amyloofoo

I'm not really sure what advice to offer but *hugs*, I know it's really disappointing when you know how you want things to be but they turn out differently. Have you actually sat down without your LO and told your OH how this has made you feel? I presume so, but it could be worth while to try again in a non-shouty way just so he understands for the future so it hopefully won't happen again. Asking him why he feels that work commitments are more important than family commitments could be one of those things that turn into a barny, but it's important to let him know if that's how you feel.

Unfortunately all that can be done now is to make the most of things for your DS, I'm not sure how old he is or if he's aware that things aren't necessarily as you'd like them to be - but I'm sure he'll be happy to have some alone time with Mummy. Make the best of it and spend some special time with DS.

thehappybutterfly

We weren't going anywhere this year but I always make sure I take 2 weeks off in the summer and I assumed my hubby would do the same but he didn't. It's not 'cos he's busy at work - he doesn't have that type of job - but he didn't ask for time off because he didn't see the point if we weren't going anywhere! I was upset but not devastated. I quite liked it being just me and my 15YO daughter but it wasn't the same. I need encouragement to do anything (as does DD!) so because it was just the 2 of us, we did hardly anything despite our grand plans to go here, there and everywhere!

Don't jump the gun and start imagining that your marriage is on the rocks - let him know you're not happy and you expect him to take time off over the October holidays. If he refuses, then maybe you should start questioning his commitment to the family. I'm assuming the country won't come to a halt if he's not at work? Nothing will blow up etc?