Controlled crying?

Janepig

Not much I can add to what you've already been told. The main thing we did with our two (and are still doing!) is make night time boring. If Boxing Day Boy wakes at night (he's 15 months now) he gets tucked back in with minimum fuss. I think that's the main thing with your little one Kyle, if he wakes, is to make sure he's not "rewarded" for it.

It's very hard though, especially if you haven't got the support of your partner. There were times when we were doing the controlled crying bit (increasing the length of time before we went back into settle them) when I was set fair to crack, but DH was on hand to remind me what we were doing and why - and it worked!!! That said, I'm dreading BDB going into a bed as he does take a little longer to settle down, although he doesn't cry or anything.

The other mantra I had while we were going through the more difficult evenings was that when the children are in their late teens and out partying at night I know I'll be lying awake worrying about where they are, so I think lying awake with a baby who won't sleep is slightly preferable!

Good luck Kyle - you're not alone!!

Jxx

mum2kathryn

I did controlled crying with my dd after her sleep patterns went to pot after being ill. But because I couldn't hack the crying I did it in 1 minute intervals instead of 5 mins. Usually she'd gone to sleep/ settled by the end of the 4 minute stretch. Within a few days she was sleeping much better.
I sat in our bedroom with a stop watch to make sure I didn't go in too soon!

In some of the parenting books the recomend a temporary change to sleeping arrangements during controlled crying so the younger child doesn't keep siblings awake.

Good luck!

Queenie

kyle wrote: »

... Got a book today called toddler taming and it says try controlled crying, have tried before but have given up, but want to try again, i am desperate:eek:

Does this really work, how long does it take, anyone who has done this got any tips! he is shattered all the time, very moody during day and i need to get this sorted now before my other boys go back to school as they share the same room.

Any tips?
Kyle

((Kyle))

Best tip? Persevere this time round!!!
Just remember you are going to be reprogramming his entire life to date. At 23mths old, his waking up habits are already well instilled.

Don't expect a "quick fix" - if it happens quickly, bonus! It can take anything from a couple of days to a few weeks to fully change this behaviour/routine. If you start out expecting it to takes weeks rather than days you will be better prepared mentally.

With your OH off work next week, plan in some nap time during the day for YOU! If you are the one is who taking full control of this, then you need to know there will be a pocket of time when you can catch up with some much needed sleep.

I also suggest that you try and keep a journal while you are doing the controlled crying technique. Note how often he wakes, how long he goes between sleeps. It might seem like it isn't working, but by keeping a journal, you will see a change in pattern - even if it's only a slight change initially, it's worth noting to keep focused.

I know you feel a pressure to get this sorted as soon as possible but there really isn't a definitive answer on how long it will take. I don't want you to feel that if it isn't sorted in a week's time then it isn't working.

Persevere, persevere, persevere!! It *does* work! ((hugs))

woolly1

Hi there - know exactly how you feel. Our lo is nearly 2 and we've had a few phases of him waking up every hour, normally from midnight onwards. We've done the controlled crying with him and it really does work. We call it 5 minutes 10 minutes. Each time we've done it after a few days he sleeps through the night again. I go in the first time he cries, lay him back down and say 'it's time for bed'. Then I leave him cry for 5 minutes, go back in and lay him down again - no conversation. I then leave him cry for 10 minutes, (this is when you start to feel really mean and watch the clock willing the minutes to tick by!) then go back in if he's still going, same as above. The next stage is to leave him for 15 minutes but we've never got that far as he's always given up by then, thank goodness! The book I read about this in did say never to leave them cry for more than 20 minutes.

I discussed it with my health visitor before I did it and she said it was fine to use this technique but not to do it if he was poorly. We have restless nights from him whenever he has a cold or something so when he wakes frequently then we just cuddle him and put him back down. This does result in a period of him trying it on though when he's better and we have to go back to the controlled crying for 2 or 3 nights until he sleeps through again.

Give it a go, it's heartbreaking to listen to him cry but it's better for everyone to get a good nights sleep which will hopefully be the result. Your lo shouldn't be needing drinks at night, and is probably just using this as an excuse. You need to be firm otherwise you're making a rod for your own back. Good luck!

inkie

Go for CCT - but do not expect it to work after one night. See it as an investment and persevere. It will work if you and your OH make a conscious decision that it is the right way for you as a family. You both need to be 100% commited otherwise you might as well not bother.

sweetmoneysaver

We did the controlled crying and it took just over a week. Keep talking to a minimum and go back and reassure but do be consistent. I found it really hard and upsetting but my DS sleeps really well now unless something is wrong. Good luck and stick with it!

Generali

Did controlled crying with my youngest at 3 months. It broke my heart at the time but has been worth it in the end. It's very hard to do but as Mrs Generali put it, if you start you have to finish otherwise it's just cruel.

He sleeps brilliantly now but it was a horrible couple of days.

swampduck

With my daughter - it was'nt the crying that got to me but the constant jumping out of bed to come downstairs. She was a little older and we had the routine established but would not stay in her bed.

We got around that by saying she could play in her room but she was not to come downstairs and that after a certain time was mum and dad time!

The first night we were up and down the stairs like a yo-yo but eventually she stayed her room playing - the next morning her bedroom was wrecked!!

On the second night - bit more yo-yoing up and down the stairs and the bedroom wrecked the next morning again but not quite as many toys out.

By the third night the message was getting through - by the end of the week - she was staying in her bed after story time and cuddle looking at her books until she fell asleep. Two weeks later it was lights out after storytime and we never looked back.

It's a matter of finding what works for you and your child - persevere!!


Swampy

full-time-mum

haven't read the thread - need to go to bed zzzzzZ but we have used it and it worked for us so would thoroughly recommend it.

HariboJunkie

We used CC Kyle but the twins were much younger. Won't it be a problem with him sharing a room with his brothers?

Does he get out of bed when he wakes? I would suggest just taking him by the hand back to bed without a word each time and using a reward chart as an incentive.

Good luck

Haribo x