Controlled crying?

Miss_Cinnabon

No he doesnt wake at the same times, forgot to say he has a nap in morning for an hour roughly maybe less sometimes.

He has wakened up already, after 45 mins, had some of his bottle and went to sleep again, next week is going to be fun!

Kyle

funky-footprints

kyle wrote: »

I am basically at my wits end with my 23 month old, he has never slept through the night bar the odd occasion, he wakes up 4-5 times, even more, i settle him to sleep by giving him a bottle of water and i lie next to him in his bed, bad habit i know:o

Number one, its ok to lie with him for a few minute to settle but then you should leave, going back to him every 2 then 3 then 4 then 5 minutes. each time go back a little bit longer.

He wakes up for his bottle, most times he will go back to sleep, other times like last night he will wake up and wander about!

Number 2, does he realy need a bottle now ? Maybe you could make a big thing of going with him to buy him a big boys cup, any anyway cup or something similar for his water, make out it is for realy grown up little boys and he is so lucky to be getting one of these for bedtime. They are for little boys who sleep all night.

Last night has to have been the worst ever, settled down ok but an hour later he was awake, tried to resettle him but he wasnt having any of it, took him downstairs, gave him weetabix in case it was hunger but was still up the whole night with him!

Number 3 .. no to the weetabix, once in bed, dont encourage him to get back up, he needs to stay in his bedroom, just keep going back to him to resettle, It took us about a week all in all of doing this with our daughter, after watching it on one of the tv nanny shows. If he is going to have supper give it to him about half an hour before bedtime, then do your normal routine of stroy etc. someone suggested warm milk ...yes we tried this too, but we gave up the milk thing, as milk 'sick' is grosse !!!

Got a book today called toddler taming and it says try controlled crying, have tried before but have given up, but want to try again, i am desperate:eek:

Its hard .. my daughter used to put her fingers down her throat to make her self throw up. But by night 3 we began to see a difference, the first night it was bad !! if you cant cope with the crying and it is distrubing his brothers, keep going back and forth until he settles. maybe put your other boys in your bedroom to start so as you can concentrate on your youngest, then once he is settled moved your elder boys back in.


If he is going to be silly at story time, then no story time, lie him down and leave. When you go back to him dont talk to him just let him see you, if he gets up, just lie him back down.

if you are going to start it, no matter how knackered you get , you have to persevere else or your hard work goes down the drain, and your son will know you are a softie !! you also need your dh on your side, you are going to have to explain to him that he has to keep him temper while doing this else it wont benefit any of you. you cant do it alone, you both need to do it.

good luck, i know its hard, but it is soo worth it once they sleep though !!

domestic_goddess

My little boy has just turned 2 and will have an hours nap in the afternoon and then go to bed at seven and will sleep will at least eight in the morning. I have never had to do anything to get him to do this - he just loves his sleep.

My little girl was the complete opposite though and still needs hardly any sleep. I am not sure exactly what the method I used with her is called but its where you put her down to sleep and go back after 5 minutes, quick kiss (no talking) and then go again, back again after 8 minutes and then keep going back leaving it longer each time before you go back. It took me about a week to get her to settle - a very long hard week. At the end of the week though knowing that I could put her to bed and she would settle made it all worth it!

Good luck with it:beer:

thriftlady_2

My health visitor recommended controlled crying when my eldest was 9 months and still waking for a feed he didn't actually need. It took 2 nights and worked like a charm. By the time ds2 came along we had no trouble getting him to sleep and the same with dd. It certainly was easy for us because we started so early - sorry, not much help for you, but it does work, just allow more time for lo to learn to fall asleep by himself. Also, as someone else mentioned your OH needs to be on board. My sil couldn't make controlled crying work for her son because her OH would not allow him to cry for any length of time.

Miss_Cinnabon

I really feel like doing controlled crying tonight as lo has been up 3 times since he went to sleep, but i know im too tired and has to wait til next week, the last 2 times he has woken with a start and has been sweating so maybe a bad dream?

Kyle

comping_cat

kyle - no advice other than whats been given (i agree with what funky-footprints has said) but wanted to send a ((HUG))

The times he has gotton up already tonight, is he coming out of his room? Are you talking to him? Might be worth doing the 'silent' treatment now, when he gets up, give him a hug and put him back to bed, no talking, no bottle?

brummiebabe

Hi...can really empathise with you...my DS1 was a nightmare!!!! Would only go to sleep with me sitting next to him...this could take upto an hour!! He would also make himself sick if he got really worked up!!

I tried a number of things....I believe controlled crying DOES work, but is very tough to do!! My DH couldn't stand it...so it was left to me!! However, what eventually worked a treat for DS1 was to sit by the bed, not giving him eye contact/engaging in any conversation...then each night I would move a little further away until I was ultimately sitting outside his room. Yes you feel daft and it does take longer to get results than controlled crying - but is a little easier to do!!!

I really feel that, whatever you do as a parent, consistency is the key!!! Make your decision then stick with it!!! You must follow things through, so that your child KNOWS you mean it!! That's why you really have to think carefully about what you can handle, before you start!!

Also - think about your reactions to him when he wakes up/gets out of bed. Do you talk lots to him, giving him lots of attention? If so...he probably will keep waking up!!! He needs to learn that nighttime is different...keep the lights low, say as little as possible, don't get engaged in conversation (very hard I know!) I used to say the same phrase to my DS over & over "it's bedtime now..go to sleep!" - that was all he got out of me!! It probably took around a month....but worked ultimately...he now sleeps very well!!

Also, I'm not sure that giving loads of drinks is helpful...he might get very wet!

With DS2 and my DD (5 months) - they've had a bedtime routine from the start!!! This is winding down (I agree with Cbeebies bedtime hour!) then bath, clean teeth, story and lights out!! My DS2 used to ask to go to bed and my DD likes to be in bed by 6.30pm!!! I know not all children are the same....but establishing a routine is REALLY important!!!

Once you've cracked it (which you will!!) don't allow yourself to become too complacent!! Times of illness etc can be difficult....if you change the routine/allow them into bed with you (as I'm sure we all do when they're ill) then you have to be prepared to re-establish your routine asap, as they will "try their luck" - my DS1 was poorly last night and ended up in bed with me...tonight he said "if I'm hot again..I'll just come into bed with you."..I had to be very firm and reiterate that he needs to sleep in his own bed!! He's nearly 7!!!!!!!

Whatever you choose to do....GOOD LUCK!!!! You can do it, and life is SO much easier then!!!!!!!!!!;)

crutches

tried controlled crying with mine but couldn't control MY crying.

good luck!

seven-day-weekend

I never had this problem (thank goodness) as my son slept through from two months old. He's now 27 and still does.

However, from what I've read, controlled crying seems a good idea. They are only trying it on after all (after they are out of the 'baby' stage). So it seems fair to let them see that it's not going to work.

I was babysitting once for a friend and her one daughter kept them awake every night when she was three! I just told her quietly that she was a naughty girl, she glared at me and went to sleep. I really think that at this age she WAS just being a naughty girl. Still played her parents up though!

Probably get flamed now..........

liney

I dont agree with 'crying it out' where you just leave them to cry themselves to sleep, but 'controlled crying' seems reasonable. I did the 'pick up, put down' Baby Whisperer thing when mine was a baby so dont have problems now he is a toddler. On the odd occasssion he does peedle out of bed i say nothing, and pop him straight back with a kiss and he stays there.

Don't feel bad about letting her cry for a few minuites - she will be happier with more sleep and you will be happier with some adult time in the evening.

If i were you i would start tonight so you have the weekend to get over the worst of it. Began bath and story at 6pm and bed for 7pm because ideally you are aiming for 12 hours sleep and i imagine you dont want these 12 hours to end at 6am )