Still living at home and redundancy pay?

janninew

londonsurrey wrote: »

Unless there are major expenditures upcoming on the house, it sounds like she's fallen into a habit of treating him as a semi-substitute husband, whom she would ask for this kind of money.

She should take a look at more independent means of raising this kind of spending money. Does she own the house?

Yes she owns the house outright, it could be sold for a very nice amount which could easily fund her a smaller place and give her a large sum of money to keep her going. She has emotional ties to the house though which make it difficult, her children were all born at home and her husband passed away at home.

faerie~spangles

Given the information above then NO, shouldn't be handing over any of his redundancy.

He is her son not her husband.

londonsurrey

If she is a demanding person anyhow, then I would strongly advise the son against giving in, as this will simply reinforce her sense of "right".

It's an issue that is not going to go away, the fact that she can't afford the house on her own. Unless he never plans to marry, or move out, this is something that stands a high likelihood of having to be confronted at some point in the future, whether he appeases her now or not.

The indication that she's not an easygoing personality makes it unlikely that it would be kind for a future wife to move into this nice big house with her.

fluffnutter

I don't understand why she wants (or thinks she's 'entitled' to) a lump sum. If he's continuing to contribute then she can't really ask for any more.

If she's not happy with him being there, then she should ask him to leave.

faerie~spangles

londonsurrey wrote: »

If she is a demanding person anyhow, then I would strongly advise the son against giving in, as this will simply reinforce her sense of "right".

It's an issue that is not going to go away, the fact that she can't afford the house on her own. Unless he never plans to marry, or move out, this is something that stands a high likelihood of having to be confronted at some point in the future, whether he appeases her now or not.

The indication that she's not an easygoing personality makes it unlikely that it would be kind for a future wife to move into this nice big house with her.

He could always move his boyfriend in:D

londonsurrey

faerie~spangles wrote: »

He could always move his boyfriend in:D

She'll be thrilled - two substitute husbands to boss around!

McKneff

janninew wrote: »

Heck have we got a bidding war going on?!! He is a lovely lad though, and single!!

He could come to my house, I could be his surrogate Nana for 7.5%:D

McKneff

she is just being greedy, how a mother can be like this with her son is beyond me.

He really would be better moving on and living independantly.

Person_one

Time to move out.

Its incredibly good of him to have stayed with her for 9 years of his adulthood to help her manage after his dad died, but unless he's planning to live with her forever he'll need to make the break sooner or later and this completely unreasonable demand from her seems like a good catalyst.

Maybe she needs to downsize so she can manage the housework and bills alone

Loanranger

He really needs to get out from under his domineering mother and make a life for himself.
How old is he? Edited: Sorry, I can see he is late 20s