Still living at home and redundancy pay?

janninew

Hi All,

Just looking for opinions on this situation!

Would you think this was fair or unreasonable.

A person in their late 20's lives at home with his Mum, his Dad passed away 9 years ago and Mum can't really afford the bills on her own so Son has stayed to help, plus the home cooked food is a great incentive!

Son has just been made redundant from his job of 8 years and received a reasonable redundancy package. He hasn't got another job yet, but is actively looking. Mum has asked that he give 25% of his redundancy package to her to put towards the house keeping fund. Son has been paying for half of the bills since Dad passed away (there is no mortgage).

Mum and Son have had a big falling out over this, he doesn't think its fair to have to pay 25% of his redundancy when he already pays half the bills.

This isn't my situation, but a family member. I'm trying not to get involved, but can't help thinking Mum is being a little unfair. Son could afford to move out but feels unable to as Mum can't afford the house on her own, yet I think he might just decide to move out if she keeps asking for this 25%!

What are people's opinions on this?

Thanks.

tea_lover

Personally I think she's being unreasonable. He's already paying half the bills, he doesn't owe her anything else.

Also, FWIW, I think he'd probably be better off moving out anyway.... but still popping round for the home-cooked meals.

samuela66

Oh God, difficult one!

I find it weird how she has asked for part of his redundancy payment, does she work herself????
Does he just pay half the bills or give her money towards the shopping?
I am sure you will get many differing opinions on this.

He does not know how long he is going to be out of work so has no idea how long this money will need to last him!

Personally I would of made a gift of xxxxx to my Mum to show my appreciation.

sam:D

podperson

Why is she asking for a lump sum - is she meaning for this amount to cover the bills until he has a salary coming in again, or is she asking for this in addition to the money for the bills?
Tbh if I was the son I would be looking into moving out anyway, might be worth researching whether the mum might be able to get any help from anywhere to manage the bills on her own.

newcook

When you say he’s paying for half the bills does this include the food shopping?

Does he help around the house such as doing the laundry, vacuuming, dusting etc?

Does he share the cooking?


If he doesn’t do any/all of the above I would offer it as ‘housekeeping’

peachyprice

If he's still going to be paying the bills at the same rate as when he was working then it is unreasonable of her to expect 25% of his payout, who knows how long it's going to take to find another job.

However, if the 25% is in lieu of bill payment until he gets a job it's a reasonable request.

janninew

samuela66 wrote: »

Oh God, difficult one!

I find it weird how she has asked for part of his redundancy payment, does she work herself????
Does he just pay half the bills or give her money towards the shopping?
I am sure you will get many differing opinions on this.

He does not know how long he is going to be out of work so has no idea how long this money will need to last him!

Personally I would of made a gift of xxxxx to my Mum to show my appreciation.

sam:D

Thanks she is retired. I think she has a reasonable pension as she worked for the NHS. The mortgage was cleared when her husband passed away.

He pays half the bills and they take it turns every week to pay for the food shopping.

If an item in the house needs replacing they also split the cost. I know they bought a Dyson Ball a couple of weeks ago and they paid 50/50.

tea_lover

Has she said what the 25% is for? Is it something specific or does she just want some security?

janninew

newcook wrote: »

When you say he’s paying for half the bills does this include the food shopping?

Does he help around the house such as doing the laundry, vacuuming, dusting etc?

Does he share the cooking?


If he doesn’t do any/all of the above I would offer it as ‘housekeeping’

He's great round the house, spends Sat morning cleaning the house (will make an excellent husband!) Mum does the cooking as she enjoys it, yet he will clean the cars and sort the garden, they both do an even share. He does his own washing as she tends to ruin clothes by putting them on a very hot wash then sticking them in the tumble dryer for house!

Nan63

They way that some people think astonishes me sometimes. Why does Mum think she is entitled to 25% of the redundancy pay?

Encourage your friend to move out and become self sufficient with his little windfall, then buy his Mum a leaving present but, in my opinion, no way should he feel obligated to give her 25% of his redundancy payment.

janninew

podperson wrote: »

Why is she asking for a lump sum - is she meaning for this amount to cover the bills until he has a salary coming in again, or is she asking for this in addition to the money for the bills?
Tbh if I was the son I would be looking into moving out anyway, might be worth researching whether the mum might be able to get any help from anywhere to manage the bills on her own.

This is an additional lump sum , he is still able to pay his weekly bills and food money. He has some savings and his redundancy money to cover him for a while.